ic I Want My Tears Back

[Supercape]

Lament

 

"Horses! Horses it is then!"

 

Internally, Lament breathed a sigh of relief. He had half expected a unicorn or a vogling. And he didnt know what a vogling was. Made up animals were always the worst. 

 

In a flash, some balloons appeared in his hand. He always kept one or two up his sleeves. 

 

To add extra entertainment, he blew them up with his nostrils. 

 

These were cheap tricks. But the audience were children. 

 

In a spree of typing and blowing, the child had a pink balloon horse. 

 

"What do you think of that then?" he smiled. 

[RocketLord]

GM

 

The child laughed, all hesitation leaving her face. She happily laughed, grabbing the bright balloon horse with both hands. The other child, however, seemed displeased. His sister had a new toy! Why should he not have one as well? Drawing in breath, it was clear that he was about to start crying, and loudly at that.

 

Would Lament have the skill and speed to prevent an outburst from the child?

 

And the King looked on, his chin resting on his hand, an amused smile on his lips.

[Supercape]

Lament

 

"Is that a smile I see, dear King?" asked Lament, with another deep bow. 

 

At least he enjoys the smiles of children. He may be all kinds of bad, but he has at lest some heart!

 

He knew he had given a good, even great performance. But he was running somewhat out of tricks. His costume had enough pockets that he could improvise a few tricks, but it was not inexhaustible. 

 

"Perhaps you feel now some joy in your heart?" he inquired, hoping for the best...

[RocketLord]

GM

 

The king's smile quickly faded, replaced by a frown. Mission completed or not, he was not about to give Lament the joy of having caught him. "No. Not at all. A mere yawn."

 

He paused, and he could not keep the smile from his lips still. It was slight. A mere crook at the corner of his lips, but it was there, even as it was well hidden. "Perhaps... a final trick could do the deed." His voice had changed. It was no longer as uncaring, or as unfeeling, as it had been when Lament had first met him. He sounded amused, at least.

[Supercape]

Lament

 

A mere yawn? Why you cold-hearted bastard! You ungrateful little tur---

 

He interrupted his own train of thought and refocussed on his show without a pause. 

 

He took back the deck of cards and shuffled them. 

 

"There is only card of any importance, your highness. And its your card!" he said, dramatically, weaving his hands over the cards dramatically whilst doing a slight application of adhesive to one card in particular. 

 

"Its the only card that will stick!" he said, doing a twirl on one foot so all the audience could see. 

 

And then he threw the entire pack of cards both carefully and haphazardly at the King. The cards blossomed out chaotically, falling like leaves through the air, whilst half of them bounced again the king. 

 

It was quick, and sharp. 

 

And left, stuck to the King's forehead, was the one card that mattered. 

 

The King of Hearts!

[RocketLord]

GM

 

The guard quickly backed away with the children in his arms, quickly putting some distance between himself and the strange mortal that had come to their world. And then he saw the cards being thrown at his king, and he was almost ready to lunge at the Sultan of Sorrow! And he would have done so, had he not carried his own children in his arms!

 

For his part, the king looked unimpressed as the cards were thrown, then outright hostile for a brief moment as they bounced off him. Aside from the one that stuck to his forehead. With a long fingered hand, he reached for the card, and he pulled it forward, glaring at it. Then saw the image. A King. And one of hearts. His lips started moving. Was this not the very reason that he had sent the mortal to Grendel's Mother? To bring back his tears, and his heart?

 

And then, he laughed. It was a happy sound, it was a deep sound. No cold, no evil. Just pure joy.

[Supercape]

Lament

 

At last! That was like pulling teeth!....in fact, pulling his teeth would have been a faster way to get his tears, and probably a more just method! After all...this man kidnapped children!

 

Oh yes, even if all was resolved today, and the children returned safely, he had a special spite for a King who would resort to such drastic measures. Mayhap, if he had his heart back, he would see the cruelty of his ways. But if not, Lament had his name scrawled in a very black book in his mind. Vengeance!

 

"There we go, dear King! Joy has returned! And with it, no doubt, every emotion that you could conceive of. Perhaps more! And how succulent those feelings must be after being asent for so torturous a time! Hurrah Hurrah and thrice Hurrah for the King of Tears!"

 

And the Lord of Lamentations!

[RocketLord]

GM

 

The King paused for a mere moment, as he looked at the card, then flicked it towards Lament, the card landing directly at Lament's chest. And he stood, slowly approaching Lament. "Yes, you have lived up to your end of the bargain, mortal." 

 

Now, would the King keep his promise? Would he release the children?

 

"Release the children."

 

It appeared very much that he would, indeed.

 

Applause filled the cave, the King's subjects seemed overjoyed to have him back with a smile on his lips. Then it quickly died as he turned again, while guards opened the gates. He moved, and he sat heavily on his throne once more. "You held true to your bargain, mortal. Know that you have my boon. Do not waste it."

[Supercape]

Lament

 

"I shall surely not, oh Kingly King!" bowed Lament. You spiteful old weasel!

 

Still, it was a victory. Why commit to violence when wit would do (or in this case, a bit of violence and wit, but the point was made). 

 

"Now, oh King, allow me to return your most splendid boots" he said, passing off his boots once more. "Whilst they are truly wond'rous, I fancy they would not fit well in my most mundane world"

 

I dont want to propel myself into a jet or helicopter!

 

"And on that delightful note, I must bid farewell...err....where do I go?"

[RocketLord]

GM

 

A guard accepted the boots, and the king pointed towards the way from which Lament had entered, the entrance under the giant tree that stood far taller than any other thing, made by man or nature, in Denmark. "The way from which you came. Leave my kingdom, and find your way back."

 

The children were flocking around Lament by now.

 

The king chuckled. "Perhaps you can find your way through the fog. Or perhaps you will meet a troll. In either case, our business is concluded."

[Supercape]

Lament

 

"Thank you, your graciousness!" said Lament, bowing again and again as he departed. 

 

The King of Elves was a vile old goat. A mocking, cruel, vile old goat, even with his tears back. Lament had been at been inclined towards leniancy of judgement given the royal haemarrhoid had been bereft of part of his soul. But now, such leniancy evaporated. Even with his emotions, he was a vile old goat. 

 

Part of him wanted to let rip. A big part. It would feed the void and impart some righteous fury on the toad. But....this was the King's court. He was in his element, and Lament was well outside his. True, he could bluff his way into appearing comptent on most stages. But appearing competent and being so were different things. Perhaps he could take the king down a peg or two, but perhaps not. He had no idea of the Kings real power, and most likely the King had no idea of his. But this wasn't the time or the place to pick a fight. 

 

But if he ever got the chance under better circumstance, then pick a fight he would!

 

For now, he exited the palace and stepped back into the fog. 

 

He sure hoped he could find his way back!

[RocketLord]

GM

 

The children followed Lament into the fog. He would hear a soft song, a voice that he would recognize. The Bog Wife, once more! And yet, if he followed the song, he would not find her, but rather, find his way back to the mortal world, away from the world of stories, myths and fairy tales. For a moment, the world seemed drab, dark and boring. Even as Christmas approached, this was a different world once more. Their own world. And Lament and the children would soon see the light of the buildings and the Royal Arena. Now all that was left for the Sultan of Sorrow was to lead the children home.

[Supercape]

Lament

 

"Merry Christmas, children! Ho Ho Ho!"

 

He wished he had a santa outfit. In fact, he did have a santa outfit, alongside a very extensive wardrrobe. Just not here. 

 

"Right then! Its cold and chill, but warm inside, full of festive cheer and mulled spices. And, no doubt, worried parents most eager to see you all again..."

 

Still dressed as Lament (as opposed to Zombo! or Luther LeGrasse - these identites were confusing, but Luther would not satisfy his ego with the mere two identities of regular caped crusaders and masked marvels) he marched into the Royal Arena, kids in tow. 

 

"I bring Festive gifts! The little loved ones, returned to bosom! Lament is, as ever, the Purple Protector of Persons!"

[RocketLord]

GM

 

The gift of children returned was a great one indeed. As the children flocked past Lament to their grateful parents, cries of happiness and joy spread through the arena to them all. The thought of children missing and christmases ruined were soon gone, replaced simply with the joy of everyone being reunited once more.

 

A mere two hours had passed. Whatever world of myths and stories that Lament had visited, it appeared that time had moved differently. At first, the reaction to his appearance might have proven hostile. Had he taken the children? Why? Why return them now? But the children spoke in his defense, even as they told crazy tales of Elves and saviors.

 

But at least now, they were home. And Lament was hailed as the hero of the day.