EmpressValerian96 Posted February 13 Posted February 13 Star Squire Power Level: 8/10 (150/150PP) Unspent Power Points: 0 Trade-Offs: None In Brief: Teen delinquent turned newest member of the Star-Knights! Catchphrase: For Justice, Truth, Honour and, uh...Something! Theme: The Chain (Fleetwood Mac) Alternate Identity: Miriam Francesca Luisa Juarez (Secret) Birthplace: The Bronx, New York, USA Residence: Claremont Academy Base of Operations: Claremont Academy Occupation: Student, Superhero Affiliations: The Star Knights Family: None she’d consider close, but her father is still alive. Description: Miriam is very wiry and quite strong, built like a runner and fairly muscular in a lithe way. She’s compacT, given her smaller frame, and has an overall sense of having more energy than she knows what to do with. She also has a scar over her eyebrow from when she fell off a trampoline and kissed pavement and one on her cheek from when she got thrown through a window before she got her sick alien space armour. Her hands and knuckles are pretty callused from being a street fighter. And a delinquent. Miriam has a contralto, and has a fairly strong Brooklyn accent. Her voice is a little raspy, but overall pretty easy to listen to and understand. She has long dark brown hair, almost black. It's usually tied into a ponytail and she's probably going to cut it off soon. She’s considered dying it, but she likes her natural colour a lot so she hasn’t gotten around to it yet. Age: 16 (DoB 8/1/2007) Gender: Female Ethnicity: Latina Height: 5’0” Weight: I dunno Eyes: Brown Hair: Black History: Miriam was always a bit of a problem child. Her mom passed when she was little and her dad was often too drunk to keep track of her, hoping she was at school, but she was more often roaming the streets and getting into trouble. Not fun trouble, but more shoplifting and fights kind of trouble. She did it for people she knew, mostly. “Friends” who’d talk her into using her muscles and lack of personal regard to help them out. She felt bad that she wasn't doing more for her family, especially her little brother, who she wanted to not end up on the streets, but she didn't know what she could do to help him. The fights got worse and the run-ins with the cops got worse, building to a head that she felt would eventually boil over. But, her “friends” needed her and she also kinda liked getting into street fights and stuff. Then she got the armour, and everything changed. Or, nothing did, depending on who you asked. Got wasn't even the right word for it. The Star-Knight armour saved her life. The city had been set ablaze and Miriam had been trapped under rubble, her legs broken and the fire creeping towards her. The Armour had rescued her, healed her legs and explained what the Mentor was, what had befallen her. And most importantly, it took her to meet another Star-Knight. Miri was starstruck, overawed and terrified in equal measure. Miriam had never seen someone like her before. They gave a crap. They’d asked about Miriam’s like and they’d cared about her story. They hadn’t written her off, or taken the armour back, saying they had the wrong girl. People didn’t think that about Miriam, or anything about her. Sure you saw the Freedom League on TV, and you heard the stories, but girls like her? No one cared about them. But the Star-Knight cared. They listened, and they were incredible. They were a real superhero. The kind of person that really truly thought the world would get better, that people like Miriam could make it better if they just tried. And the crazy part was that Miri had started to believe them. That she might be important, she might even matter to other people. That the armour hadn’t made a mistake in picking her. Personality & Motivation: Miriam is a punk, all things considered. She’s impulsive, quick-tempered, gets in over her head far too easily and never thinks things through. Ever. She’s the kind of person who gets attached easily and gets angry over stuff far easier than she should. However, she is kind at her core, wanting to do things to make people she cares about happy, which can leave her open to being used by people who know this about her. She wants to make the world a better place, to protect the innocent and not let the little guy get stepped on. She desperately wants to be more than just a punk teen with a mutation, and she wants to live up to the legacy she's taken on herself. She’s chatty and hard-working, never giving up on something once she gets her teeth sunk into it, and she is good at picking stuff up quickly. She makes enemies as easily as she makes friends, but despite her temper flaring up easily, she forgives just as swiftly. She’s more terrified of being alone than anything else, a trait she tries to keep to herself, but again, she can be the kind of person who often ends up as muscle or a lookout for someone cunning enough to exploit her impulsive heart. She’s fairly clever, however, with a quick wit and the ability to learn stuff pretty quickly. She’s not superhumanly so, of course, but she knows what she’s about. She’s pretty handy with tools and knows how to draw pretty well, mostly doing portraits and sketches of people she sees wandering around and she is very proud of her still lifes. Very proud. She rarely shows her art to anyone but her most close, dear friends. Her deepest wish is that she wants, more than anything, to be special. She wants to deserve the armour she got, and she needs to be the person who is worthy of being a Star-Knight. Whatever the armour saw in her, she doesn’t see it in herself. Powers & Tactics: Miriam Francesca Luisa Juarez is in possession of the Star-Knight armour, alien armour connected to the Star-Stone, and a fledgling member of the Order. She is a complete novice with the armour, and as such fights without really tapping into its full potential. She throws energy blasts, she turned the sword into energy gauntlets and still fights like she’s in a street fight. She fights dirty, and hasn’t quite understood why she shouldn’t, what the hell “setting an example” even means. She throws herself into fights wholeheartedly and with immense gusto, relying on the fact that the armour hasn’t let her get hurt yet However, she isn’t dumb. She simply has never had this kind of power before, and it has thrown off her usual tactics quite a bit. She is adapting to the rush, but needs to get the kind of basic training one needs to really get the armour. Hence, Claremont. She loves to taunt and throw quips in fights, knowing that if she gets her enemies angry, they’ll get sloppy and she’ll be able to go for the eyes or other vulnerable spots before they can figure out she’s pissing them off deliberately. Power Descriptions: She wears the Star-Knight armour, set to Squire format, though she has managed to change some of the appearance settings, adding an external coating that resembles a black, metallic leather jacket to her aesthetic. Her armour itself is red and gold, the symbol on her chest glowing with iridescent light, though it seems to fluctuate with her mood. Her energy blasts and gauntlets are gold and red, respectively, and she leaves a white trail behind as she flies through the air. Flight is her favourite benefit from the suit, the freedom it provides something she’s craved, and it is probably the ability she’s best with. Complications: Everyone Deserves A Second Chance: Miriam believes in everyone's better nature, even if it would be more prudent to be wary. If she could be more than a delinquent, anyone can. The GM can rule that Miri fails Sense Motive checks against people convincing her of their better nature You Talkin’ To Me?: Miriam takes insults very poorly, and is easily baited into fights by people belittling or mocking her. She’s from a place where you don’t take disrespect, and that’s hard to unlearn. I’m Not Worthy: Miriam has deep seated self esteem issues, born from her terrible home life and delinquent past. She can freeze up when everything’s riding on her, and she hates it. The GM can require a Will save from Miri when acting under pressure. If she fails, she freezes and cannot act that round No Armour, No Hero: If, by some horror, she wasn’t able to activate her armour, Miriam is a powerless teenager. Chronic Hero Syndrome: If someone’s in need, Star-Squire’s there. No questions asked, she’ll help. Secret Identity: The world, and especially her family, cannot know that Miriam Francesca Luisa Juarez is the hero known as Star-Squire. I Miss Mom: Miriam occasionally falls into a depression when she is acutely missing her mother. Teenage Headache Dreams: Miriam is a hopeless romantic, and falls in feelings easily. She has been unlucky in love so far, and odds are she's gonna stay that way if she doesn't calm down. Three Lines, No Waiting: Miriam has a focus so split it might rival the Star Wars fanbase. She is attending Claremont Academy to learn how to be a hero, performing her duties as a Star-Squire and working part-time at a Chinese restaurant that didn't ask too many questions. She is putting herself under a lot of pressure. Let's hope nothing breaks! Abilities: 2 + 2 + 4 + 4 + 4 + 4 = 20PP Strength: 12/24 (+1/+7) Dexterity: 12 (+1) Constitution: 14 (+2) Intelligence: 14 (+2) Wisdom: 14 (+2) Charisma: 14 (+2) Combat: 16 (2PP / Base Attack)+ 16 (2PP / Base Defense) = 32PP Initiative: +1 Attack: +8 Melee, +8 Ranged Defense: +8 (+8 Base, +0 Dodge Focus), +4 Flat-Footed Grapple: +9/+15/+18 Knockback: -6 Saving Throws: 4 (1PP / Fortitude) + 5 (1PP / Reflex) + 5 (1PP / Will)= 14PP Toughness: +2/+8 (+2 Con, +6 Protection) Fortitude: +6 (+2 Con, +4) Reflex: +6 (+1 Dex, +5) Will: +7 (+2 Wis, +5) Skills: 92R = 23PP Bluff 8 (+10) Computers 4 (+6) Diplomacy 8 (+10) Disable Device 4 (+6) Drive 4 (+5) Gather Information 10 (+12) Intimidate 13 (+15) Investigate 6 (+8) Knowledge (streetwise) 8 (+10) Language 3 (+3) (Spanish (native), English, Hebrew, Chinese) Navigate 8 (+10) Notice 5 (+7) Search 4 (+6) Sense Motive 8 (+10) Feats: 5PP Accurate Attack, Fearless Power Attack Precise Shot Quick Change Star Knight Armor Device 14 (70 DP; Hard to Lose) [56 PP] Descriptor: Offensive Capabilities 20 PP Array (Alternate Power 2) {22 DP} BP: Blast 8 (Feats: Ricochet) 17/17 PP AP: Enhanced Strength 12 + Super-Strength 3 + Strike 1 (Feats: Mighty) (energy gauntlets) {20/20 PP} AP: Snare 8 {17/17 PP} (Feats: Improved Range (200ft) Comprehend 2 (speak one language at a time and understand all) {4 DP} Immunity 10 (life support; starvation and thirst) {10 DP} Flight 7 (1,000 mph) {14 DP} Protection 6 (Extras: Impervious 4) {10 DP} Super-Senses 4 (Communication Link [Mentor]; Radio; Low-light vision; Direction Sense) {4 DP} Super Movement (Space Travel) 3 ({6 DP} Drawbacks: (-0)+ (-0) = -0PP DC Block Attack Range Save Effect Unarmed +8 Touch DC 16 Toughness Damage [Physical] Energy Blaster+12 Ranged DC 23 Toughness Damage [Energy] Star-Snare +8 Ranged DC 16 Reflex Attack [Energy] Energy Gauntlets Touch DC 22 Toughness Damage [Energy] 20 + 32 + 14 + 23 + 5 + 56 = 150/150
Thevshi Posted February 13 Posted February 13 Okay EV, good work on a PC, just a few things to be addressed. First, fluff is all fine, but I noted at least one place with some colorful language. We try to keep the site PG13, so, would appreciate censoring it. Also, asked you on Discord if you wanted to use my Star Knight PC (Sri Kath'lana) as the Star Knight Miriam met after getting the armor or come up with a random NPC name? At the top of your sheet, she should be listed as PL: 8/10 (150PP) (as you are building her to PL 8 caps) So, for the crunch issues. One minor thing, we like to list all the point totals at the bottom of the sheet, yours would look like this (though there may need to be changes): 20 + 32 + 14 + 23 + 5 + 56 = 150/150 So first minor issues are in Saves: Toughness, you list +2 and +5 from Protection, to hit cap, this should be +6 (for +8 total). Also, you should list after toughness how much Impervious you have, which at PL 8 is capped at 8 like this: (Impervious 8 ) For Fort save, you spent 4 PP and have +2 from Con, so should be +6 Skills: Lot of skills for a 16 year old, but guess she grew up on the streets. This might need to be shaved down some (see powers below). For Languages 3, what is her native language? What are the three languages she speaks in addition? (need to indicate this) Feats: Fine, but, why have Quick Change again? You already have it in the armor. Might be better to use that point for a rank of Luck. Powers: here is where there are some issues. First big issue is the Device at the top level. Rank 14 hard-to-lose device gives you 70DP, not 85 like you list (that would be rank 17 and cost more, which you currently cannot afford unless you take points from somewhere else). Also, adding up all the stuff you have (some of which needs to be redone/repriced), I have you at about 78, maybe 80 DP, so, you need to find at least 8 PP from some other places to boost the armor to Rank 16. For the armor sub-powers: Comprehend: to be able to do everything you list (Speak any one language at a time; understand all; read all) is three ranks, not two, so costs 6 DP (not 4) For Protection, you are spending way too much here (and breaking PL caps), based on her Con, it should be Protection 6 (Impervious 8), costing only 14 DP. For the offense array, you have mispriced. The most expensive part of it is the one that has enhanced Str, Super Strength and the Strike. Based on what is in there, the array needs 20PP in it, plus 3 for the three alt powers., so it will cost 23 DP. Blast (with one feat) is {17/20 DP}, so is the Snare. Nullify as built, is {16/20 DP} As indicated above, the Str 12, Super Strength 3 and Strike 1 (Mighty) is {20/20 DP} So, even after the changes to Protection and if you want the full Comprehend (3 ranks) then it is 80 DP, meaning you need to find 8 PP in other places to increase the armor's rank (and available points). Let me know if there are any questions.
Thevshi Posted February 14 Posted February 14 Okay, almost there EV. Just slight issues in the armor. First, I am counting 71 DP worth of powers, so you need to shave one off somewhere, maybe another rank of Impervious? You also still list it as having 85 DP, when it should be 70DP. You have the offensive array priced wrong. should be 20 PP in the area, +2 PP for 2 alt powers, so 22PP total (even with this, still is 71 DP, not 70). You then need to correctly price the various alt powers. The one with supper strength is {20/20}, the other two are {17/20} With those corrections, will be good!
Fox Posted February 14 Posted February 14 Hello hello! Welcome. I didn't find anything too bad, mostly just some little notation things: With +8 Base Defense, Star-Squire would have a Flat-Footed defense of +4 (which is important and useful!); in the Combat section, this would read: Defense: +8 (+8 Base, +0 Dodge Focus), +4 Flat-Footed You've shorted yourself a bit on Star-Squire's Fortitude Save - you've bought 4pp of Fort, which would give you a save of +6 (+2 Con, +4). You've bought 92 ranks of Skills, rather than 93. You've bought Super-Senses 4, rather than Super-Senses 2; the cost is correct here, just the rank should be fixed.
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