La Puma Negra Draft Rebuild

[MoonSimply]

*In current Draft*

 

La Puma Negra

Power Level: 10/12 (183/185PP)

Unspent Power Points: 2

Trade-Offs: None

 

In Brief: A familiar curse courses through the veins of a young woman, fighting over control against the will of a feral puma.

Alternate Identity: Carmen Alvarez Arrache (Secret)

Birthplace: Aquadilla, Puerto Rico

Residence: Claremont Academy, Freedom City, USA

Occupation: Student

Affiliations: Claremont Academy, Saint Philomena Orphanage 

Family: None Living

 

Description:
Age: 18

DoB: 2006
Gender: Female
Ethnicity: Hispanic
Height: 5’8”
Weight: 170lbs
Eyes: Yellow
Hair: Black

 

 A Feline humanoid young woman of black hair and lithe figure. She likes to keep her hair long and somewhat untamed in its look, her body covered in greyish black fur. Typically, La Puma Negra wears the more gymnastic attire in Claremont colors, but has more recently begun to wear a black variation to suit her needs.

 

History: Born Carmen Alvarez Arrache in Aquadilla, Puerto Rico, abandoned at birth and given to the orphanage of Saint Philomena, a Catholic run institution. Growing up, she had looked outwardly normal and lived a somewhat normal life until the age of 12, where her blood family's curse began to manifest, first with small personality changes. The preferring of meat products, growing out her hair, and a more feral like attitude. This would only get worse as months went on and Carmen retreated in panic after hurting a fellow orphan with claws that had begun to grow.

 

She had barricaded herself in her room, not letting any of the nuns of the orphanages save for food and communion. If it wasn’t for intervention from the Claremont Academy, the young Carmen would have likely further closed herself, blaming her fate on an unknown sin that she was paying for, the nuns unable to provide the needed care that she needed during these traumatic times. By the age 15, Carmen would be accepted into the school, having received on grant additional support until she was capable of physically and mentally attending the school.

 

Time and therapy had helped her, but still certain aspects of her curse have pushed beyond her growing shy nature to one of a more feral-like stance, feeling a sort of wild anger and ferocity that is at times barely held back. Though more open to others, Carmen is still weary of large crowds and focuses upon her. More recently however, she has begun to have a relationship with the fellow Claremont Hero “Goldenstar” after meeting him over a Christmas party both had been invited to.

 

The name La Puma Negra was one that she had come up with herself early on with her time at Claremont, attributing it to her dark fur color and cat-like appearance. Said appearance and ability being fairly similar to the long believed dead hero El Gato has raised certain speculation.

 

Personality & Motivation: Carmen displays outwards ferocious exterior and short-tempered nature, prone to bouts of boredom with an at times low attention span coming from the feline nature of the curse. When parts of her true personality emerge, it is often rather shy and introverted. These two personalities often clash with each other, becoming a contest of wills.

 

Carmen wants to confront and learn of what she is, to apply herself and potentially do some form of good. Her curse weighs heavily on her conscience due to her catholic upbringing, seeing it as a sin that she must repay in some service.

 

Powers & Tactics: The curse that Carmen has altered her into a feline humanoid, resulting in abilities beyond that of a normal human being. Her senses are far enhanced, allowing her to see ultra-violet light and see in the dark. Hearing and smell has also been altered to an amazing degree. Her agility and natural strength have also increased dramatically, allowing her to far easily climb surfaces and to lift heavy objects.

 

In combat, Puma Negra uses hit and run tactics, using her enhanced mobility to come into close quarter combat and escape away quickly before retaliation. Her goal is to typically throw herself into combat to immediately confront enemies of what she believes is roughly equal to lesser footing while harassing larger and or more powerful foes.

 

Power Descriptions: Puma looks in all appearance to be a humanoid were creature of a feline sort, wild and typically ferocious in a fight. Most of her powers are part of this strange and odd form, including razor sharp claws that can be retracted when not needed or threatened.

 

Complications:

Catholic- Carmen was brought up under strict Catholic upbringing, being a firm believer. This has resulted in conflict with her more feral self, believing it to be a punishment of some sort of sin. She typically tries to attend service, keeping to the back of the congregation or generally out of sight.

 

Temper- Feral nature of her curse has pushed her to have a rather strong temper, easily getting frustrated when things do not go her way at times. Not a pillow in her dorm has been spared clawing, generally taking her anger out on them after classes or training, and in rare cases, on classmates during training. However, outburst like this are generally harmless, Puma taking great pride in controlling herself from hurting others. This has been strained recently by a more feral shift.

 

Children- La Puma Negra will go to great lengths to protect children from harm, even putting her life in danger for them. This partially stems from her own personal contempt for herself and her unnatural form, wanting others to live a normal life which she cannot.

 

Short Attention Span- Due to the same feline curse that grants her powers, La Puma Negra is also affected by other instinctual traits. From a love of meat to a tendency for resting at high places, having fitted her bed to be a little bit taller.

 

Poor- Being an orphan and with no source of employment, Puma is a ward of the school, given only a small stipend from the school every month for her own purposes. Steadfastly independent, the lack of money is a quiet shame.

 

 

Abilities: 2+4+4=10

Strength: 12/26 (+1/+8)
Dexterity: 14/30 (+2/+10)
Constitution: 14/30 (+2/+10)
Intelligence: 10 (+0)
Wisdom: 10/15 (0/+2)
Charisma: 10 (+0)

 

Combat: 8+16=24

Initiative: +14 (+10 Dex, +4 Imp. Init.)

Attack: +4 Base, +10 Melee (+4 Base, +6 Attack Focus [Melee])

Defense: +10 (+8 Base, +2 Dodge Focus), +3 Flat-footed

Grapple: +12/+18 (+8 Str, Base Attack Bonus +4, Base +6 )

Knock back: -5

 

Saving Throws: 3

Toughness: +10 (+10 Con)
Fortitude: +10 (+10 Con)
Reflex: +10 (+10 Dex)
Will: +5/+9 (+2 Wis, +3, +5 Enhanced Save)

 

Skills: 61R= 16pp

Acrobatics 4 (+14/+18 w. Enhanced Skills)

Climb 4 (+12)

Concentration 0 (+2)

Escape Artist 4 (+14/+16 w. Enhanced Skills)

Gather Information 4 (+4)

Handle Animal 8 (+8)

Intimidate 4 (+4/+10 w. Enhanced Skills)

Knowledge Arcane 8 (+8)

Knowledge Civics 4 (+4)

Knowledge Theology 3 (+4)

Language 1 Knows Spanish (Native) and English

Notice 4 (+6, +10 w. Enhanced Skills)

Search 4 (+4/ +8 w. Enhanced Skills)

Sleight of Hand 4 (+14)

Sense Motive 0 (+2)

Stealth 0 (+10, +20 w. Enhanced Skills)

Survival 4 (+6/+8)

Swim 0 (+8)

 

 

Feats: 20pp

Acrobatic Bluff

Dodge Focus 2

Elusive Target

Evasion 2

Fast Feint 2

Improved Crit 1 (Claws)

Improved Initiative 1

Improved Trip

Instant Up

Luck 2

Move-By-Action

Skill Mastery (Stealth, Acrobatics, Climb, Swim)

Startle

Takedown Attack 2

Uncanny Dodge 1 (Hearing)

Improved Grapple

 

Powers: 1+6+16+16+24+14+5+3+3+14+6+1+2=110PP

All powers have the Magic descriptor unless otherwise noted

 

Additional Limb 1 (Tail; 1 Additional Limb) [1PP] 

 

Device 2 (Bolas; Easy to Lose) [6PP]

-Trip 4 (Range 40’; Knockback; Accurate +2; Subtle)

 

Enhanced Constitution 16 (Beyond Human Stamina; +16 Con) [16PP]

 

Enhanced Dexterity 16 (Curse Born Advantage; +16 Dex) [16PP]

 

Enhanced Skills 4 (Predatory Enhancement; +10 Stealth, +4 Search, +6 Intimidate, +4 Notice, +4 Acrobatics, +6 Attack Bonus, +2 Escape Artist, +2 Survival, +4 Will) [24PP] 

 

Enhanced Strength 14 (Curse Born Power; +14 Str) [14PP]

 

Enhanced Will Save 5 (Will Save +5) [5PP]

 

Speed 3 (Feral Mobility) (50mph, 500ft/rnd) [3PP]

 

Strike 2 (Claws; Feats: Mighty) [3PP] (Claws)

 

Super-Sense 13 (Feline Senses; Acute Scent [2], Acute Hearing [2], Darkvision [2], Extended Scent 1 [1], Extended Hearing 1 [1], Low-light Vision [1], Scent [1], Tracking (Scent) 1 [1], Ultra Hearing [1], Ultravision [1]) [13PP]

 

Super-Movement 3 (Hunter’s Mobility; Sure-footed 1, Wall Crawling 2 (Full Speed)) [6PP]

 

Telepathy 2 (Feline Communication; Flaws: Limited to Emotions, Limited to Felines) [1PP]

 

Leaping 2 (Agile Jumping; Jumping Distance x5) [2PP]

 

 

DC Block

Claws (Strike 2) Touch DC:25 (19-20 Crit) Toughness (Might)+10

Unarmed Attack Touch DC: 23 Toughness +10

Trip 4 (Crit 20, Range 40’) +12

 

Totals: 

Abilities (10) + Combat (24) + Saving Throws (3) + Skills (16) + Feats (20) + Powers (110) - Drawbacks (0) = 183/185 Power Points

[RocketLord]

Combat
Your Attack bonus lists Attack Focus [Melee], but there's no Attack Focus [Melee] anywhere else on your sheet.
Your flat-footed defense should be +4, not +3.

 

Skills
Your Skills add up to 60 ranks, costing 15PP
Your Knowledge Theology should only give a +3 total bonus, since it's an Int skill

 

Feats
I got your Feats adding up to 21, not 20

 

Powers
Your Enhanced Skills lists +4 Will and +6 Attack Bonus as some of their Skills. I can see that you've moved the Will bonus to its own Enhanced Will Save (and remember to remove it from here), you should do the same for the Attack Bonus, which I guess are your Attack Focus [Melee]? You should list it as Enhanced Feat 6 [Attack Focus [Melee] 6) [6PP]. This also puts the total cost of your Enhanced Skills at just 8PP instead of 24.

Your Trip attack only has a +8 attack bonus with Base Attack 4 + Accurate 2, and it is only a +4 to your power check. You're not gonna get much use out of it. I'd personally increase to at least rank 8, and then increase Accurate by 2 more ranks, or to rank 10 and increase Accurate by 1 more rank.

[MoonSimply]

Alright, I've decided to hit the drawing board again and fix things up a bit. Instead of a complete rewrite I have decided to work with what I have already and improve upon it. As such, disregard previous stat changes that were included in the original draft.

 

Stat Changes: 

Abilities 12PP

12/26 (+1/+8)

14/30 (+2/+10)

14/30 (+2/+10)

10 (+0)

12 (+2)

10 (+0)

 

Combat

Grapple +14 (+8 Strength, +6 Melee

Defense Bonus +10 (Base +6, Dodge Focus +4)

Knockback -5

 

Saving Throws

Toughness +10 (+10 Con)

Fortitude +10 (+10 Con)

 

New Power

Device 3 (Bolas; Easy to lose) 9PP

-Trip 8 (Range 80', Improved Trip, Accurate 4, Precise, Subtle)

 

Power Updates

Enhanced Strength 14 (Curse Born Advantage, +14 Strength)

 

Enhanced Constitution 16(Curse Born Advantage, +16 Constitution

 

Strike 2 (Claws; Mighty, Split Attack 2, Accurate 2)

*Change to 96 PP Spent

 

Feats 30PP Spent

Fast Feint 2

Dodge Focus 4

Power Attack

Skill Mastery (Stealth, Acrobatics, Climb, Swim)

Track

 

 

Skills 80R=20PP

Know. Arcane 2(+2)

Know. Business 4(+4)

Know. Theology 2+2)

*Delete Notice 0

 

DC Block

Claws (Strike 2) Touch DC 25 (19-20 Crit) Toughness (Might; Split 2; Accurate 2) +10

Unarmed Attack Touch DC 23 Toughness +6

Bolas (8 Trip) Ranged DC 18 +11

 

Abilities 12+ Combat 18+ Saving Throw 5+ Skills 20+ Powers 96+ Feats 27= 177/185 PP

 

Edited October 4 by MoonSimply