Eviscerus Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Players Name: Eviscerus Power Level: 10 (150/151pp) Trade-Offs: -3 Attack for +3 Damage, -3 Defense for +3 Toughness Unspent PP: 1 Characters Name: Umbros Rector Alternate Identity: Shadomancer Height: 5;10" Weight: 143 lbs Hair: Black Eyes: White (colorless) Description: A pale skinned, gaunt man who wears dark robes, colors are black, and dark, rust red. He has a ragged scar running from his left ear to his right across his neck line. When summoning up his powers, they appear as almost smoke like darkness tendrils and blasts that have a slight smell of burnt wood. History: Umbros Rector, or Shadomancer, has lived centuries, and lived in many lands, it is believed he was born in Sumeria, some even claim he to be the Mad Arab, though he will not substantiate those claims. He doesn't speak of his past much, mostly because he doesn't speak much unless he's giving orders or issuing threats. Everywhere he's lived, he's set up a power base and expanded that into an empire of one sort or another. Recently, he has dissolved all of these bases and has taken up residence in Freedom City. His true identity is that of a penniless child on the streets of Sumeria. Having been orphaned at birth by the death of his mother (his father died before his birth). He had no home, and so lived in the streets. After one night of scavenging for food, Umbros lucked upon a whole, unbruised apple. He thought himself very lucky indeed, until a couple hoodlums threatened to steal it from him. He fought them, but they got the upper hand, took the apple and beat him near to death. With what would have been his last ragged breath he invoked the evil demonic spirits of the night, having been driven mad by anger and frustration, he pleaded for his life and power in exchange for eternal devotion, and a promise to bring the world to it's knees, begging for mercy when he plunged it into darkness for all time. The spirits were pleased, and saw in Umbros a fitting candidate, and so they bestowed upon him great magical power and a promise he would never age and would not die a natural death. The child rose from his feet, no longer a beggar, and proceeded to hunt down all who had wronged him, making them beg forgiveness before ending their lives having been strangled to death by living shadows. He then did as he promised and set his sights on the world. He spend the first 400 years amassing wealth and setting up assetts, and, in his hastiness, made a bid for domination early on. He was, however, foiled, when the peoples of the Mespatamia banded together and brought him down. Before they could destroy him, he teleported off to the shadow realm. Where he spent 3600 years in suspended hibernation, waiting for the day when he could come back, and with a more careful hand, grasp control of the earth. The defeat and subsequent escape robbed him of much of his power. Fifty years ago, he stepped out of the shadows in the streets of Paris. He spent those years collecting his hidden wealth, and turning it into the wealth of today. Amazing what a few bronze swords and gold pieces from 3500 years ago go for these days. He then set his sights on Freedom City. He now believes to gain the power he needs (and the power he lost) he must first rob others of great power of their lives within a magical rite, sacrificing them to the dark. He knows to enact his plan of domination, leaving so many great powers in play, would be he ruin. So he bides his time, and will whittle away at these so called "super heroes" one at a time. They will come to know the darkness, and they will come to fear it. Personality & Motivation: Simply put, power. Umbros has searched the world over for ways to expand his arcane might and influence over eldritch powers, he comes ot Freedom City to continue his research, and tap the energies of the city as well as it's people. His ultimate goal? To become a god. Powers & Tactics: Shadomancer wields vast arcane might, which he portrays with either blasts of utter darkness, or other spells and incantations. In combat, he is always surrounded by a force field of dark energy which look like a bubble of encased black smoke. He can teleport via the medium of shadows from one spot to the next. Complications: Secret (True Identity), Obsession (Power, Godhood, Narcissism) Stats: 26pp Str: 10 (+0) Dex: 14 (+2) Con: 10 (+0) Int: 20 (+5) Wis: 22 (+6) Cha: 10 (+0) Combat: 24pp Attack: +5 Grapple: +5 Defense: +7 (+3 flat-footed) Knockback: -6 Initiative: +2 Saves: 12pp Toughness: +13 (+0 Con, +13 other) Fortitude: +4 (+0 Con, +4) Reflex: +5 (+2 Dex, +3) Will: +11 (+6 Wis, +5) Skills: 15pp [52 skill points] Concentration 10 (+16) Craft (Artistic) 7(+8) Intimidate 6 (+6) Knowledge: Arcane Lore 8 (+13) Notice 8 (+14) Sense Motive 6 (+12) Stealth 6 (+8) Languages: English, Latin, Egyptian, Arabic, Aramaic, French, Italian, German, Russian Base: Summerian Feats: 6pp Artificer Benefit (Wealth 2) Eidetic Memory Ritualist Skill Mastery [Notice, Stealth, Craft (Artistic), Knowledge: Arcane Lore] Magic 18 (36 power Points; PFs: 8 Alternate Powers) [44 pp] * BE: Blast 13 [(Shadow Blast)](Extra: Penetrating 7, PF: affects Insubstantial 2, Accurate) "Umbral Devastation" * AP: Nullify 10 (All Magic Powers) (Extras: Touch Range Burst Area, Effortless) "Arcane Disjunction" * AP: ESP 9 (all Senses) (20,000 miles) * AP: Illusion 9 [All Senses] * AP: Create Object 10 (Shadow Shapes) (Extra: Impervious, PF: Selective) "Moulding the Dark" * AP: Mental Transform 10 (2pp/rank version, alter memories) [Extra: Cloud Area, PF: Subtle] "Mind Fog" * AP: Darkness Control 10 (Linked to (+0) Emotion Control 10 (Flaw: Fear Only, Ranged PF: Accurate) "Fear the Night" * AP: Instubstantial 4 (Shadow) "Shadow Form" * AP: Snare 10 [Extra: Burst Area] [PF: Suffocating] "Embrace of the Night" Teleport 8 (Flaw: Medium: Shadows) [8pp] Force Field 13 [13pp] Super Senses 4 (Magical Awareness, Danger Sense, Darkvision) [4pp] Immunity 1 (Aging) [1pp] Powers: [44+8+13+4+1 = 70pp] Drawbacks: 3pp Power Loss (Teleport, Force Field, and Magic when unable to speak or gesture) -3 pp DC Block: ATTACKS: SAVE DC: DAMAGE TYPE: (Shadow Blast) (28/Toughness) Injury [staged] (Forgetful Fog) (20/Will) None (Memory Loss) Costs: Abilities: 26 + Skills: 15 + Powers: 70 + Feats: 6 + Combat: 24 + Saves: 12 - Drawbacks 3 = 150/151
Geez3r Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Hello. Welcome to the boards. My first issue with the character is the lack of formatting. Just bold or underline some of the titles and whatnot to make it easier to read, and bold the powers. Click on one of my character sheets (in my signature) to see what I mean. It makes reading everything much easier. Secondly, expand the history section. It doesn't have to be a novel, but is has to fill more than a post-it note. Just add in details to ground the character. Now, onto the build itself. Stats, good. Combat, good. Saves, good. Skills, please include the number of ranks that number of power points gives you, but otherwise good. Feats, good. Powers: First, traditionally, we put the name of the attack (ie: Umbral devastation) at the end of line. It prevents the sleep deprived refs from being confused for a few moments. Secondly, the cost of the magic array should be displayed on the same line, including the cost of the AP's. See Malice's character sheet for an example. Thirdly, explicitly state what descriptors your Nullify effect works on. Just to make sure there are never any misunderstandings regarding it. Next, denote what the 2 points version of Mental Transform does, just for quick reference. Also, Darkness Control is incapatible with Emotion Control as written. In order for powers to be linked, they must have the same range. Darkness Control is Ranged, and Emotion Control is perception ranged. I suggest making Emotion Control Ranged. Next, your teleport power checks out fine, but the Astral Form AP does not. Astral form costs 5pp/rank, so you can only afford 1 rank with the 8 available Power points. Finally, from my count, you have 68 points in powers, not 72. These are all pretty much quick fixes, so once you get them done, you should get your first approval in short order.
Eviscerus Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 There, hopefully I've covered all the bases here. Sorry about all the mistakes and what not. It was late at night when I made the guy, heh. Anyways, let me know if anything else needs changing.
Geez3r Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Powers aren't adding up, and need a little work formatting wise. Magic 18 (39 power Points; PFs: 8 Alternate Powers) [47 pp] * BE: Blast 13 [(Shadow Blast)](Extra: Penetrating 11, PF: affects Insubstantial 2) "Umbral Devastation" * AP: Nullify 10 (All Magic Powers) (Extras: Touch Range Burst Area, Effortless) "Arcane Disjunction" * AP: ESP 9 (all Senses) (20,000 miles) * AP: Illusion 9 [All Senses, Progression 3 (50 ft max)] * AP: Create Object 10 (Shadow Shapes) (Extra: Impervious, PF: Selective) "Moulding the Dark" * AP: Mental Transform 10 (2pp/rank version, alter memories) [Extra: Cloud Area, PF: Subtle] "Mind Fog" * AP: Darkness Control 10 (Linked to (+0) Emotion Control 10 (Flaw: Fear Only, Ranged) "Fear the Night" * AP: Instubstantial 4 (Shadow) "Shadow Form" * AP: Snare 10 [Extra: Burst Area] [PF: Suffocating] "Embrace of the Night" Teleport 8 (Flaw: Medium: Shadows) [8pp] Force Field 13 [13pp] Super Senses 4 (Magical Awareness, Danger Sense, Darkvision) [4pp] Immunity 1 (Aging) [1pp] 47 + 8 + 13 + 4 +1 = 73
Eviscerus Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 There, reworked it to be readable and at propercost by dropping 3 ranks of penetrating. Hope that helped out.
Sandman XI Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Just note the breakdown of how the powers add up and you're done. [b][u]Powers[/u][/b]: [X+X = Xpp]
Avenger Assembled Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 There are things here that need worked on. First off, some formatting stuff; would you mind alphabetizing your skills and such, so that they're easier to read? _Book of Magic_ strongly recommends against allowing Attack Specialization: Magic, and I'm inclined to agree. The power itself is powerful enough as it is. Furthermore, a 4000 year old character speaks more than two languages, I'm afraid. Daedalus, an NPC of similar age, speaks 16 languages. You could also put a Comprehend Languages in your Magic Array. Also, do you have the Freedom City book? I strongly encourage you to work to integrate your character into the Freedom City setting. What other immortals has he allied with/battled with over the years? His backstory could use a combination of line breaks and paragraphs. In addition, you might want to think about why he's 4000 years old and only PL 10. Man needs to eat his Wheaties. :)
Eviscerus Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 I don't have the Freedom City book as of yet, but it's on the list. I'd love to work some background stuff between him and some of the other immortals when I get the book. As far as why he's only PL10, the shadow demons that gave him his powers, though in his ignorance he sees them as great dark gods, are really more like middle management. They can only grant so much power, and they, up until now, have been his primary source of power aqcuisition. His furtive plans to drain the super powered populace is a step in rectifying that, as, after 4000 years, he feels he should be more powerful and has almost gotten bored of preening himself (almost!) Other than that, I fixed what issues you had. Tell me if it's passable now.
Eviscerus Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 I was thinking about my explanation as to why he wasn't more powerful, and decided that maybe that needed some working. So I put that in his back story he was defeated early on and went into some sort of suspended animation. He awoke fifty years ago and spent that time getting his wealth back to standards as well as learning the ins and outs of modern society. His defeat severely depowered him, and his plan to rob others of their power is in an attempt to reach his previous power and go farther, finally accomplishing his goals.
N/A Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 One small note: Concentration is the one skill you cannot take Skill Mastery with, because it is the one skill in the entire game that you cannot take 10 with, under any circumstances. (If you could take 10 / Skill Master with Concentrate, The Scarab would be all over that.)
Eviscerus Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 Right, changed Concentration to Craft (Artistic)
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