Death Don't Have No Mercy (IC)

[Heritage]

The Zombie held its hands up, "Hey, hey, relax, folks! Though it doesn't look like either of you are really keyed up, anyway... "

Grim peers over her shoulder and frowns. “Well, he was all scared and Scooby-Doo a second ago; guess he found a spine in a box of Cracker Jack or something.†She gives BD a playful wink, and turns back to Corpse Boy.

"To answer th'lady first: no, I don't always hang around this place, like I said I've only been here about two weeks. And yer boyfriend here don't look like he's had anythin' scared outta him... and besides, yer both in a fog-shrouded cemetery, lookin' for vampires, so if lil' ol' me can put y'all off that badly, how d'ya think y'all'll do against a real bloodsucker?"

The shapeshifter stands boldly, hands on hips, jaw firm, chest…out.

“You make a valid point, Horrible-Smelling Dead Man! We are not professional hunters of the foul undead, merely rank amateurs out to make a difference, or die in agony trying!â€Â

She laughs and shakes her head.

“Seriously, this was just a reckon mission, and neither of us has a freakin’ clue what we’re doing, at least when it comes to vampires; I mean, I’ve met one, but that’s about it.â€Â

Pause.

“He’s actually kind of a putz.â€Â

[quotemyname]

"You met a vampire?" Asked Breakdown, looking incredulous. "And it didn't kill you? What are we doing here? Why don't we ask it for some pointers? Even if it's evil, it should still know something about this, and if you were able to get away, then I'm sure the two of us could persuade it to talk..."

Breakdown turned back to dead head for his next line, "And when we do find some bloodsuckers, we're going to have to administer some knuckle sandwiches..." Breakdown shook his fist in the air before he realized what he was saying. "Or maybe we'll just hit them in the arm so we don't risk getting caught on those pointy little teeth they have."

[Dr Archeville]

“He’s actually kind of a putz.”

"Yeah, they usually are," the Revoltin's Revenant replied, "'specially if it's the same as the one I saw a few weeks back. But that don't make 'em any less dangerous!"

"I mean, c'mon, now, what were you two thinkin'?" he said in a mock-condescending tone. "That you'd be able to sneak up on some nest o' vampires, like hunters in a duck blind? Didja bring some 'vampire calls' to make 'em come yer way? Lil' tomato sauce-filled blow-up dolls for bait?"

"Didja at least bring some protection, garlic and crucifixes?"

It was rather odd, seeing this rotted & withered corpse show such concern for the living.

He didn't know she saw a vamp? Interestin'....

[Heritage]

Between BD and Abner Cadaver questioning her motives, intelligence and sanity, the young shapeshifter actually shrinks a bit; not down to doll-size, but she definitly loses a few inches as she tightly wraps her arms around herself and turns bright pink in the cheeks.

"Okay, I admit it, this was not the invasion of Normandy, alright? This was...stupid and ill-concieved and retarded! The vampire thing shook me up a bit, and I wanted to do something vaguely productive, so I put out a few feelers to see what's goin' on, out on the streets...or in the...crypts, whatever..."

She stomps her foot, gets super-pissed in about two seconds, and gets her height back, plus a few angry inches. Her accusing finger stabs the air.

"Y'know what, screw you guys! Screw you BD, and screw you, Dead Guy! Maybe I am stupid, but at least I'm trying to do something about the undead tide rising in this city! Who knows how many of those bloodsucking freaks our out there! And we're all just sittin' on our asses while they suck this city dry!"

She's pretty darn keyed up, that's for sure; her face is flushed and her eyes are awful big. After a few seconds of panting, she rubs her face and sighs.

"I'm sorry, you guys; that wasn't fair; BD didn't know about it, and you, well, you're...'of the community', I guess."

Grim puts her hands on her hips and takes a long slow breath.

"Hoo boy! Yeah..."

[quotemyname]

If it weren't for the rock and roll music coursing through him, Breakdown likely would have been more scared of Grim than he had been of Deadhead. As it was, he simply took a few steps back, just to give her her space.

"Dunno what you're mad at me for." He said a little indignantly, "I've been nothing but supportive since you told me about this problem." Now it was his turn to put his fists to his hips. "Vampires ARE a problem. You got that right. But we can't do anything about it unless we know what we're up against. Hell, we can't even beat one up 'till we find one."

Breakdown turned to face Dead head. He folded his arms and adopted an air of superiority, "Honestly, Z-Man, how hard could a few 'bats' be?"

[Dr Archeville]

The zombie was quiet for a moment. A long moment. Breakdown or Grim may've thought that the talkative undead had reverted to a basic mindless zombie.

Then he bent a bit, slapped his knee, and let out a long and what could even be called 'hearty' laugh. The fact it was being forced through withered and partially rotted vocal chords was offset by the clear good nature behind it.

"I like you. I like ya both. But," the Revoltin's Revenant leaned a bit more towards Grim, "don't worry, none, miss, I ain't no biophiliac."

"Now, as for how hard a few 'bats' can be... well, that's kinda like askin' 'how hard can a few monsters be?' -- 'cuz that's how broad a matter this is." He began to pace back and forth a bit, like a professor at a lecture, "First off, many vamps don't turn into bats or wolves, and those that can usually had to work at it for years or even decades, so if yer against one that can turn into a bat, it's probably an experienced bloodsucker. And garlic and crucifixes don't always work, either. Sunlight's not always a sure bet, either -- some get burned up real quick, sure, but others just lose most of their powers, but can run around like any other human in th' day. That's the two key things when dealin' with vampires (or any undead, really): research 'em... and know that th'longer they've been around, the more powerful they are likely t'be."

He turned suddenly, and when he did his head kept turning a bit more than the rest of his body, then snapped back. "'Course, part of th'resarch is also t'see whether or not the vamp in question is a true threat. There are some who try an' fight their hungers, live -- er, exist -- off pig an' cow blood from the local slaughterhouses. There is the chance they slip and decide to switch from pig to 'long pig'... but if ya gotta focus on one set of vamps or another, I say go for the ones who don't try to curb their cravings fer human blood."

[Heritage]

Grim locks in on the words of the zombie, nodding along with each point as she does her best to commit his words to long-term memory; looking over at BD (who looks like he still might be cheesed at her), she absently rubs his arm in a friendly fashion. Once their newfound rotting chum has finished, she strokes her chin thoughtfully.

"That all makes sense, especially the 'older equals more dangerous' part; in any book you read, the two things you don't want to mess with are old vampires and old dragons."

The shapeshifter stops and pats the top of her head.

"Oops, looks like I'm still tall...well, taller, at least."

She ditches her extra inches, and then with a flourish bows deeply to Dead Head; it might look Japanese to most folks, but really it's an odd habit she picked up from reading the Oz books as a kid. Her tone is playful and overly-formal.

"A pleasure to me you, good sir! I am Grimalkin, Mistress of Mystery, and my compainion for the evening is none other than Breakdown, the Musical Mauler! Who might you be, and why are you so...um, composty?"

[quotemyname]

The musical mauler? I actually kinda like it. I've gotta remember to recruit this girl to be on my PR team when I'm a star.

Breakdown stood up to his full height. Placed two fingers against the top of his head and offered the zombie a mock salute, "You know what they say. "For those about to rock..."" Crossing his harms in front of himself he continued, "So you're looking at a couple of amateur vampire hunters. Any tips and such you got would be greatly appreciated. You mentioned something about garlic not working as well as it does in the stories?" BD cocked an eyebrow.

[Dr Archeville]

The zombie smiled at Grimalkin, and returned her bow, "Folks 'round these parts call me Dead Head," he said, removing and tipping his entire head with no more difficulty than one would remove and tip a hat. While his head was off, he stopped speaking, and his face was frozen in that rictus grin; when he replaced it he resumed. "and how I got this way... eh, that don't really matter none. Suffice it t'say, I got nothin' tyin' me down, so there's nothin' t'keep me from travelin' all around, helpin' out the dead in any way I can."

He then returned Breakdown's salute, "like I said, for some it works, for others they'll munch on it and wash it down with yer lifeblood. Research is the best way. If you can somehow observe how they react when faced with garlic, that'd be best."

[Heritage]

"Folks 'round these parts call me Dead Head,"

Grim has a rictus grin of her own stuck on her face; clearly it will take a while to get used to Dead Head's cavalier beheading and dismemberment tricks, but his good-natured humor and willingness to help the living mitigate the weirdness a bit.

"like I said, for some it works, for others they'll munch on it and wash it down with yer lifeblood. Research is the best way. If you can somehow observe how they react when faced with garlic, that'd be best."

"Yeah, that makes sense; research is always a good idea, and I'm thinking we should probably both hit the books before we do anymore fieldwork."

The strain of the evening was starting to get to her, though; too many supernatural revelations in too short of a time can do that to you. However the young heroine didn't want to be rude either. She turned to BD with a thoughtful look on her face.

"So, do you want to hang out here a bit longer and get a few pointers, or do you want to warm up with a latte or something? Me, I'm pretty flexible myself."

[quotemyname]

"Um, why can't we do both?" Breakdown asked matter of factly. "I know a small little coffee shop filled with not-so-ordinary people who would totally love to meet some heroes. They probably wouldn't mind our company, as long as they don't find any ears in their cuppachino," Breakdown added with a very, "If you know what I mean" look directed at Deadhead.

[Dr Archeville]

"I never drink... cappuccino," Dead Head said with a thick Bela Lugosi accent, then switched back to his Southern drawl "so ah'll have to decline any invites. Besides, even a restaurant welcoming of the 'not-so-ordinary' would probably turn me away. Health Code violations, y'know? Besides, I got duties here," he spread his arms wide, indicating the entire cemetery at St. Stephen's Church, "and at a few other places, to tend to."

[Heritage]

"I never drink... cappuccino,"

Grim chuckles at Dead Head's impression.

"Heh, nice Lugosi reference, DH. And yes, I have actually seen and enjoyed a few black-and-white movies, so don't let your jaw hit the floor; some of us kids appreciate a bit of 'culcha' from time to time."

She turns to Breakdown and playfully pokes him in the chest a few times.

"And I think we need to get some joe, and then hit the library sometime; you go to school around here?"

[quotemyname]

"Duh! Claremont!" Breakdown replied, playfully batting Grim's prodding fingers away.

"But yea, coffee sounds good. It's kinda late and I could use a pick-me-up. Thanks for the words of warning, Dead Head!" Breakdown gave a mock salute towards the zombie.

"Shall we?" He asked, turning back to Grim and offering her a hand.

[Dr Archeville]

"Stay outta trouble, you two!," the odd zombie called as Grimalkin & Breakdown turned to leave. "Eh, who am I kiddin' -- get up t'as much hijinx as ya want, y'all'll have plenty of time t'be quiet & peaceful when yer dead!"

The sound that erupted from Dead Head's throat could be described as a laugh... as heard through a sepulchre.

The fog crept back in, and suddenly the flickering lights from Dead Head's eyes were completely gone, and the two young heroes felt as if they were alone.