On the First Day of Christmas... (IC)

[Geez3r]

Tempest had only been on Earth for a few months, but in his time here, he had seen a great number of interesting activities, but this constant talk of the Christmas seemed to be potentially the most interesting event that Tempest had seen on Earth. However, this event seemed so pervasive to the humans that they had difficulty articulating the exact extent of what exactly the Christmas was. All Tempest could gather was that it was some sort of pervasive event where many humans gathered in the shopping centers to compete with the other humans in an attempt to acquire goods which are easily acquirable over the course of the year.

To help illuminate this issue, Tempest decided that he should call on his friend here on Earth, the Colt human. Tempest landed outside of the Colt human's new domicile. Between their last conversation and the present date, the Colt human had taken up residence in this new location, but Tempest was able to track where the Colt human had moved to. Tempest also meaned to ask the Colt human about the process of relocation.

[quotemyname]

There's just something about a raging storm. You always know when it's coming. Colt remarked on this when as he watched Tempest land in front of his brownstone. He had just gotten out of bed and was holding the shades aside. He expected this would be an interesting day. Not wanting to keep his friend waiting, he quickly pulled on his pants and a shirt and made his way downstairs.

Moments later, Colt was holding open the front door in jeans and a button down shirt that was hanging open. "Reckon it's fancy seein' ya, Tempest. What brings ya round this part'a town. Y're welcome in fer a cup'a coffee, if'n ya don't figure on turnin' ma floors ta ice." Colt welcomed his friend, remembering their last encounter all too well.

[Geez3r]

Tempest's body reformed until he looked like a hybrid of stone and wood, making him the most solid Colt had ever seen him. The only part that remained elemental was Tempest's eyes and hair which continued to cycle through the elements. "You have little cause for alarm in that regard Colt human; the floor knows who its rightful master is and I therefor do not need to show it the full extent of my wrath. *pause* That was a joke Colt human. May I come in?"

[quotemyname]

Well, at least he's tryin' ta fit in... Colt shook his head, exasperated at the elemental's sense of humor.

"A' course ya can! Right this way." Colt opened the door the rest of the way and gestured Tempest inside. "Kitchen's just down th' hall. Meet me in there an' I'll put the kettle on." Colt was buttoning up his shirt as he walked. "Oh an' I'd be much obliged if'n y'all could close the door after ya."

[Geez3r]

"Thank you." said Tempest as he crossed the threshold. The door behind him seemed to close of its own volition, but Colt knew Tempest had something to do with that sudden gust of wind. He followed Colt's directions and found the kitchen area quite alright. He pulled out a chair so that he could sit down, but them remembered there was mention of "putting a kettle on". Tempest did not know what a kettle was, nor what tradition it was that required it to be adorned as clothing, but Tempest was quite interested in learning the procedure. Tempest sat at the table, waiting, in complete silence and without fidgeting, it was mildly disturbing.

[quotemyname]

Colt followed the elemental into the kitchen. This was going to be a long day, and if he was going to get through it, he was going to need coffee. "Coffee?" he asked, keeping things simple as he filled a large metal kettle with water and set it to boiling on the stove. He also retrieved a mug, (and a second just in case the answer was affirmative). Colt finished by gathering some instant coffee and turning to face Tempest.

"So, what brings ya ta this part'a town?"

[Geez3r]

"I have never had coffee before Colt human, put I will try some." said Tempest patiently as Colt moved about the kitchen. "Well Colt human, I have learned a great deal about your culture, but I have come across an issue that I cannot seem to fully comprehend. There is this event, called Christmas, perhaps you've heard of it? I am merely inquiring into general information about this event. Why and how it exists and things of that nature."

[quotemyname]

"Oh yea, I heard'a it." Colt responded as the kettle began to whistle. He finished pouring the drinks and set one steaming mug in front of Tempest and slurp some liquid from the top of his mug.

"Coffee is'a drink we humans came up wit. We found'a way'ta get the beans'a some plant ta taste'a certain way when ya grind'em up an' pour really hot water over'em. So be careful. It's hot."

Colt sat down at the table across from Tempest. "Christmas. Whoo boy. Reckon that's a tough one. I dunno where ta start. We had Christmas back where I come from. But it ain't nothin' like the show folks put on round there parts. Do ya have any specific questions? 'Er should'I jus keep talkin'?"

Colt took another sip of his coffee and waited for Tempest to try his. "Oh I almost fergot. If'n ya don't like the taste right now. Y'all c'n flavor it wit these." Colt slid a bowl of sugar with a spoon in it, and a cup of milk toward Tempest. He didn't place anything in his mug, however. He preferred his coffee black.

[Geez3r]

Colt had given Tempest coffee, this could only end in tears. Tempest tried the coffee at Colt's suggestion, and didn't particularly care for the case. When Colt mentioned that the favor could change, Tempest looked back and forth between the coffee and the milk & sugar with a look that clearly stated "How do I does?"

In regards to the discussion of Christmas Tempest said "Start at the very beginning. My knowledge of Christmas is shockingly limited compared to that of the humans in regards to this event. For now, let us start with why it exists, if you please."

[quotemyname]

Seeing his friend's silent, but blatant cry for help over the lack of knowledge of sweeteners, Colt simply reached across the table, and used the spoon to spoon two sugars and little bit of milk into the coffee in front of Tempest. "'Cream an' two sugars' is a common way to, 'take coffee.' Now ya stir it," He did so, "Like this, see?"

"An well, I s'pose Christmas started a long time ago. But not how we know it t'day. Man I reckon this story's gonna be a doozie. I'll try ta make it easier, though. How much do ya know bout religion, Tempest?"

[Geez3r]

"Religion is a common set of beliefs passed down from one generation to another through a series of stories. These stories help the new generation learn what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Different religions believe different ideals are more important than others. There are also different groups within a given religion that practice their religion differently from one another, but are similar enough to be considered the same religion. Also, more humans have been killed in the name of religion than for any other reason."

[quotemyname]

"Well, that's good fer'a start...How's the coffee now, by the way?" Colt asked taking another sip and wonder where the hell he was going next with this.

"Now one'a those religions is Catholicism, an' its my understandin' that they're the ones mainly responsible fer this whole Christmas thing." Colt waved a dismissive hand clearing away the details. "I ain't gonna bore ya wit the details, but they got this holy book called the bible, an' like you said, it's s'posed ta tell ya what ya are an' are not s'posed ta do. However, I'm thinkin' somewhere along the line, people messed that up a little."

Another pause and a sip of his coffee gave him a good idea. "Na when I was a kid we used ta play this game. No real goal ta it, more ta just pass the time. The kid's'd sit in line and at one end, one would whisper a message to another, who would whisper it ta the next an' so on. Eventually, it would get to the end'a the line, and it would invariably be messed up. Cuz each person's s'posed ta repeat it, but some don't hear it none too well. So's what's gettin' repeated is just the wrong message sometimes. You followin' all this?" Colt scrutinized his friend over the top of his mug. Tempest's lack of the usual forms of expression made having conversations difficult at times. Colt made a mental note to show him something called, "Recognition."

[Geez3r]

"The coffee is a unique experience, but I am not sure as to whether or not I have derived a proper amount of enjoyment from its consumption. I shall inform you when the deliberation process has been completed." Tempest paused while he took a sip of the coffee.

"I have understood your story so far. Please continue."

[quotemyname]

"Reckon the enjoyment ain't just supposed to occur right now. Not one hundred percent of it, leastways. Some'a the chemicals in those beans are helpful for wakin' ya up an' such. Makes it a great drink fer the mornin's. Ain't too sure what effect it'd have if'n y'ain't human, but I guess we'll find out."

Colt leaned back in his chair. "Anyways, back to ma story. Ain't too sure who started the tradition'a Christmas as we know it, but it's been'a while, that's fer sure. Most people claim that it falls on the birthday'a what the Christians call Jesus. He's s'posed ta be their savior or some such." Colt waved his hand, again dismissing the parts of the story that didn't matter.

Wonder how long it'll be 'fore he asks me why I'm wavin' ma hand around? he thought as he continued the story, "I never really understood all that religious nonsense. Anyways, these days we don't celebrate Christmas actually ON that day. There's people that claim Jesus was born some time in the spring, but Christmas is in the winter. It's strange, but when I think about it, it seems ta me that it'd just be too damn tough ta change somethin' that's been around fer that long. Ain't no way we're fixin' it now." Colt paused to give Tempest a chance to speak, and to take another sip of his coffee.

[Geez3r]

"So this Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus the Christ human? And this Jesus the Christ human was apparently the savoir under the Catholic ideaology? That would make sense. The humans seem to regularly celebrate the birth of other humans so it would seem likely that the birth of an important human would be celebrated even beyond their death. Then because this event happened so long ago, people have the actual date of celebration wrong, but because the event is so pervasive, the humans cannot change the date without causing chaos. Am I correct thus far?"

[quotemyname]

"Yea!" Colt shrugged. "Ya got it." Either he was a good teacher, or Tempest was picking things up easier these days. Either way it was too good to be true.

"Na here's where the weird part comes in. Not only're people messin' up th date, they're also fergettin' what Christmas is really 'bout. Na this ain't the way where I come from, but here it seems ta be a problem. Instead'a bein all solemn and worshipin' and such, most'a'em just run around buyin' gifts fer each other." Colt took another sip of coffee before continuing.

"Na I been hearin' more'n more reasons fer it lately. One'a the more interestin' one's is'at the big toy companies drew so much attention ta the holiday as a time ta buy gifts fer yer kids'n all, that it just became tradition. S'like all that advertisement they put in'ta it just plain worked." Colt shrugged again, unable to offer a better explanation.

[Geez3r]

And now Tempest was confused. "So in a sense, Christmas has become a new religion. These toy companies are a certain branch of church that started under the Catholic religion. However, they changed the practices of the religion so much that it is no longer part of the Catholic order. And, that would make this "Santa Claus" the savoir for the Christmas religion then?"

[quotemyname]

For once, Colt was actually at a loss for something to say. He looked dumbly over the top of his coffee mug at Tempest. The dumbfounded look faded, replaced by scrutiny, and finally apprehension. "Reckon I couldn'a said it better m'self! Ya sure ya need this explained?"

[Geez3r]

"But then, why do many of the Catholic churches still have their gatherings on Christmas? Furthermore, many of them seem to observe the holiday in a similar fashion to that of the "new" Christmas. Also, what is the title of the new religion?"

[quotemyname]

"Consumerism?" Colt balked, "I really don't have th' answer ta that. Like I said, I ain't a prayin' man. Though I'm sure there's a way we could find out." Colt stood from the table and motioned for Tempest to follow him to another room.

Once in the den, Colt knelt in front of a large TV and opened a cabinet. He pointed to a set of boxes, "Take'a lookit these." Colt gestured, "They're Christmas movies. Grim's let'n me watch'em," Colt said, adding, "Grim's the girl I been seein' lately," As an aside.

"Care ta watch'em? Maybe one'll have th' answers ya want?"

[Geez3r]

Tempest followed Colt into the next room. "A documentation on the various aspects of the Christmas religion? Yes I do believe that would help add some perspective to the questions I have." Tempest looked through the collection of movies, unsure of which one to pick. Then he saw a name he recognized "Star Wars". "Here is one." said Tempest as he held up the case for the Star Wars Holiday Special. "The Star Wars movies have recieved a great deal of praise from the humans, this holiday special of theirs must also be very good. What is your opinion Colt human?"

[quotemyname]

"NO!!!" Colt barely had time to grab the movie out of Tempest's hands. Panting, he tried for an explanation, "Sorry, I made that mistake too. Ya don't wanna watch this'n, partner. Reckon it's the worst!" He tossed the DVD off to the side, making a mental note to use it for kilning later.

Colt looked over the collection of movies himself. "How 'bout we start nice'n easy?" Colt asked, holding up a copy of "A Christmas Story."

[Geez3r]

If Tempest was startled he didn't show it, or at least not how any human would show it. Instead he just sat there, still as the grave for a few moments. Just staring. And not staring at anything or anyone, he just looked at whatever he had been looking at when the DVD was taken from his hand. "Very well Colt human. We shall watch the movie that you picked out rather than the one I picked out, which was clearly inferior." said Tempest... sincerely?

[quotemyname]

"No offense," Colt responded, waving his hands apologetically. "Just, fer the love'a all that's good'n the world, DON'T make me watch that again."

Colt handed Tempest the remote, "Anything else! Miracle on 34th street, White Christmas, anything! Ahh, ya know how ta use one'a them things?" Colt asked gesturing to the remote.

[Geez3r]

"Of course I do." said Tempest as he picked up the remote. He pointed it at the TV for a moment while he looked for the correct button. "I have no idea how this technology works." Amended Tempest realizing he did not know the function of any of these buttons. He held out the remote to Colt "Perhaps I should let you operate the machinery."