Oh, The Weather Outside is Frightful (IC)

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"Mmm wul..." Colt quickly realized that talking with a full mouth was not working out for him. He chewed the rest of his mouthful, and swallowed it. "I reckon it can't be that boring, can it? Maybe jus the basics then?" Colt took a swig of his water from the canteen that he had attached to his back pack. One more draw from his e-cigarette, and then went back to the sandwich. He stopped himself short. "I'm jus tryin' ta make sure I don't do nothin' wrong on accident." then he took another bite.

[Heritage]

"I'm jus tryin' ta make sure I don't do nothin' wrong on accident." then he took another bite.

Lynn had to laugh as she watched her boyfriend juggle his various appetites. "Wow, that was impressive; that was like a YouTube moment right there." She takes another pull off her bottle of lemonade, then screws the cap back on.

"Okay, sadly it's easier to start with the prohibitions, the don'ts not the do's; all these rules were laid out in the Torah, aka the Jewish bible, which is not the same as the Old Testament, by the way, though they're pretty close in some ways." She starts ticking points off on her fingers.

"Number one, you can't eat meat and dairy together; this means no cheeseburgers, no milkshakes with your steak and no chicken alfredo. This is wrong because, in theory, it's possible to consume the flesh of an animal with the milk of its mother." She holds up her hands in a shrug. "I know, chickens don't give milk, and the chances of the mother's milk thing happening is like a million to one, but it's about respect. The Jewish people must respect the animals they eat, and not just stuff meat in their mouths without thinking about it."

"Number two, no blood in your meat. It has to be drained and scoured out with kosher salt, which is called kashering and then cooked throughly, so none of this 'make mine pink' stuff."

"Number three, only mammals that both chew their cud and have cloven hooves are fit to eat, so no camals, pigs, rabbits, hyraxes or a bunch of other weird animals. Girrafes are now technically considered kosher, but good luck finding a sochet who could pull of that miracle. Oh yeah, also most hard cheeses have this stuff called 'rennet' in it, which comes from a cow's stomach, so those cheeses are out."

The young Jewish girl paused for another sip of lemonade, then gave Colt a sympathetic smile. "Sorry hon, just two more major ones; the other stuff is mostly about grain and wine, which to be honest I'm usually really bad about unless it's Passover. And I was brought up Conservative, not Orthodox, so we didn't do any of the stuff with the milk-safe plates; too big of a hassle."

"Number four, only fish with both fins and scales are kosher, no eels, shark, swordfish, catfish and nooooo shellfish. Kiss them crawdad good-bye. It's in Leviticus, which is where you find most of these rules, along with Deuteronomy. And Jews don't consider fish meat, so you can go nuts with fish and dairy."

And now, Grim started waving her arms about dramatically, like she's about to either throw out the first pitch or perform an exorcism. "And now, your big rule number five, the one I always save for last because it freaks people out: ritual slaughter!"

She cupped her hands around her mouth and made fake crowd noises. "Yes folks, it's ritual slaughter, the thing that really seperates the Jews from the Gentiles." With a flick of her wrist, the changeling is holding what looks to be a razor-sharp knife, somewhere between a cleaver and a straght razor. "This is the knife a shochet would use to kill, say, a chicken; the blade has to be sharp, rust-free and not have even a single nick in it." She hands the realistic-looking prop to Colt for him to examine. "Now that's some kind of faerie silver or something, 'cause I can't make real steel; it's not actually all that hard, so you could probably snap it pretty easy."

She makes a lightweight wooden version of the knife and tosses it from hand to hand. "Now a shochet is a specially-trained butcher who's whole job is to minimize the animal's suffering; the animal cannot be drugged, abused or in anyway unhealthy. The animal must be held, with great respect and kindness, and the cut-" And here Grim looks very solemn as she holds the wooden blade to her neck and makes a smooth single motion. "One stroke, completely severing the throat, veins, arteries, everything; the animal will bleed out in seconds."

The fae placed her wooden knife on the ground cloth in front of her, like a samurai laying down his sword, and watched as it slowly melts back into mist. "It means something, to take a life, be it human or any other animal." She smiles. "It always makes me think of those movies, where like an Indian kills a deer, and he thanks it for it's sacrifice?"

Lynn sighs, opens up her bottle, and drains the last of her lemonade; as she sets down the empty bottle, she turns to Colt and shakes her head. "A good Jew doesn't just grab a bite of whatever is lying around; he thinks about what he's putting in his body, and the steps people took to prepare it. He appreciates the bounty of the Earth, and is thankful for God's many gifts."

Then she threw her arms wide and fell back on the blanket, her head landing on half of her sandwich and getting a good bit of Grey Poupon in her hair. "Aaaaaand I'm guessing I just scared the crap out of you." ;)

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Colt sat and munched quietly through the whole display. It was a lot to take in, and he knew he was bound to forget most of it, but at least now he had an idea of what it was all about.

"Aaaaaand I'm guessing I just scared the crap out of you."

"Oh it ain't all that bad." Colt concluded after swallowing. He set his sandwich down and crawled over to Grim. "I reckon it sure has that "heart in the right place" feel. What with it bein' bout respectin' the world'n all." Colt leaned in and gave Grim a kiss. "But I gotta ask, what'a the rules say bout getin' mustard in yer hair?" Colt smiled at Grim, clearly giving her a hard time.

[Heritage]

"But I gotta ask, what'a the rules say bout getin' mustard in yer hair?"

The kissing was nice, as always, but then Colt's comment made her frown ith confusion. "What?" She reached up and touched her hair, then rolled in her eyes in annoyance. "Aw, man!" Grim bolted upright and grabbed a few napkins to dab at the stain.

"Look, I appreciate your curiousity about my faith and my people, but don't think for a minute that I would ever force you do something you don't want to do." Checking to see if she got it all, she tucked the dirty napkin into a pocket on her daypack for later disposal. "When my folks got married, Mom laid down the law; our house was going to be a Conservative household, and Dad went along with that. But Dad grew up in a Reform household, and a pretty lax one at that; he'd been eating pork chops since he was a kid." She shrugged. "Pretty soon, the guy was miserable, and it was hurting their marriage. Finally my mom did something she rarely does: she admitted she was wrong. She told Dad staying together was worth a little sacrifice; now, she didn't start making him pork chops, but she did let him indulge when he went out with his friends."

She set her bag aside, grabbed both of Colt's hands and looked him right in the eye. "You are worth it, and I will never push you away, okay?"

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Colt's hands tightened around Grim's. He smiled. The action seemed to involve his entire face. It wasn't a toothy or showy smile at all. But it sure as hell was a happy one. "Thank ya." was all he said. Then he kissed her once more.

"The reason I was askin' was really fer you. Not fer me. I just wanna make sure I never put ya in that kinda position." He shrugged. "It ain't right."

Colt sighed, "Well I guess I might's well tell ya. I was plannin' a surprise, but I ain't sure if its right're not. I mean what good's a surprise if'n the person gettin' cain't use it?" Colt pulled a small piece of laminated paper out of one of his pockets on his coat. He showed it to Grim. It read, "Hunting Pass" and also showed the dates during which they were on vacation. "I wanted ta see if ya wanted to go huntin', but now I ain't sure if ya can. Ritual slaughter'n all." Colt looked a little forlorn, but happy at the same time. All he wanted was for Grim to be happy. If that meant not hunting, then so be it. "Heck, I don't even know if deer chew their cud!" He said with a smile.

[Heritage]

"Heck, I don't even know if deer chew their cud!" He said with a smile.

Lynn stared at the little piece of plastic in both hands, running her thumb along the edge. "They do." And then a wave of emotion swept over her, a mixture of happiness and sadness. She looked up at her wonderful cowboy with tears in her eyes. "But I could never...they would have to be trapped live, I guess, and then..."

Suddenly she threw her arms around him, holding him tightly as she cried. "Oh Colt, I'm sorry; this was a thing you wanted us to do together, but I can't, I just can't!" Finally she let go and wiped the tears out of her eyes. "But, y'know, we can do other macho ****, right? You can, ah, teach me about guns, and we can go to the range, and I'll look like a little girl holding this giant gun, with like those big orange earmuffs on? And we can do paintball-"

Then she got all excited and she slapped him a few times on the shoulder. "Oh, oh, maybe we can fish! I think I can do that! Please tell me you fish; tell me you loooooove fishin' and you can't wait to have a rod in your hand. Wait, that sounds wrong."

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Surprisingly, Colt did not seems that upset. But then, that wasn't all that surprising considering his personality. "See?" He smiled, "I reckon that's why it's good t'ask afterall. Y'see how bad it've been if'n I jus pulled outta rifle an' said, 'we're goin' huntin'!'"

"But don't worry yer pretty little heart 'bout it. The gun range is'a great idea." Colt smiled. Compromise was good. Then, Grim mentioned fishing. Colt's eyes got wide.

Then she got all excited and she slapped him a few times on the shoulder. "Oh, oh, maybe we can fish! I think I can do that! Please tell me you fish; tell me you loooooove fishin' and you can't wait to have a rod in your hand. Wait, that sounds wrong."

"Oh, stop!" Colt batted her hand away playfully, "Actually, I uh, I reckon I never been fishin' before. Ya gotta remember, I grew up in'a desert. But that'd be'a helluva thing'ta lern, now would'n't?"

[Heritage]

"Actually, I uh, I reckon I never been fishin' before. Ya gotta remember, I grew up in'a desert. But that'd be'a helluva thing'ta lern, now would'n't?"

Lynn laughed and covered her mouth with both hands. "Oh that's right! Have you even seen a fish before?" She creates two brightly-painted wooden fish, a clownfish and a blue tang. "You remember these guys, right? I forced you to watch it like three times." She started to wave them around in the air while singing, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

Setting the props aside, she sighed and fell back into Colt's lap. "Okay, so guns and fishing it is." She peered up upside down at her man, blissfully happy. "See, this is what makes us work: we both understand the importance of compromise." And then she resumed playing with her little fish.

[quotemyname]

Colt considered the two brightly colored fish swimming through the air under Grim power. "I reckon that'n had'a smaller fin, didn't it?" Colt smiled. Of course he remembered that movie. If there was one thing this dimension did well, it was kid's movies.

"See, this is what makes us work: we both understand the importance of compromise." And then she resumed playing with her little fish.

Colt reached down and brushed one of Grim's bangs out of her face so he could see her more clearly. "I wouldn't have't any other way." Colt beamed down at Grim. For all of his reliability and stoical characteristics, there was one thing he was never able to hide: His feelings for Grim.