Confronting the Past (IC)

[Geez3r]

Seeing their opening, the thugs all just start swinging at every bit of me that they can see. I'm able to block the sloppy shot from Mr. Broken nose. But Mr. Cheapshot from before hits me square in the back again and now I'm really not seeing straight. One of his buddies takes a pot shot at my head, but I cover up well enough that my head isn't reduced to chunky salsa. But the arm that blocked the blow's pretty messed up. I don't think it's a break, but it's damn close.

While I'm still reeling from that last hit, the other guy with a crowbar catches me with a shot to my lower ribs on the right side. That one I know is a break. If the loud crunching sound wasn't enough to tip me off, the fact that the world suddenly seemed to be slipping sideways and I'm starting to loose vision.

[Geez3r]

I spit out some blood, while I'm vaguely aware that there's quite a bit of that on the floor of the alley already. There's a rather painful throbbing where my left arm should be. My back feel like I slept on a bed of nails, and I can't stop my knees from shaking. But I'm still standing, that's something right?

No, not really, no.

I had to do something now. It was do or die. I cock my fist back and I belt the guy who's been hitting me in the back this whole time. Or at least that's what the plan was. I never felt my hand connect. I had missed. My one shot and I blew it. I got a nice boot to the head for my efforts. The force of the blow knocks me for a full 180, and I stop just in time to get a 2x4 to the side of my face. It knocks more than one tooth out, and my mouth just kind of hangs open, definitely broke my jaw.

[Geez3r]

The beating continues. I don't know how many more shots I wound up taking. I couldn't string any thought together. Everything was in a haze, and the world was getting muted and dark. I was dying. And I realized there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I'm dimly aware that the thugs aren't bludgeoning me anymore and I'm leaning up against a wall or something, probably one of the buildings.

It gets real quiet in the alleyway for a moment. All I can make out is my own ragged breathing, and the slow plitter platter of my blood hitting the pavement below me. My eyes are rolling back into my head, I'm barely conscious. And then I hear the reason it's gotten so quiet: I hear a gun being cocked.

The guys who hadn't been doing anything up until this point have all pulled out guns and they're about to deliver the coup de grace. "You should've just gone back inside old man." calls the leader, with his gun leveled right at me. He pauses for a second like he's expecting me to spout off some kind of one liner. It's not coming. After the beating I took, I can't even gurgle a response.

Finally they pull the trigger and I'm the target of a hail of gunfire at point blank range.

[Geez3r]

I would later learn that I was shot 26 times. When you're shot, you don't really feel pain. You just feel part of you get really hot, and then get really cold. In case, this happened to be my entire torso. This would also mark the first time in my life that I would die, or at least I believe it is. There was no one qualified on scene to truly determine if I died. But believing otherwise is foolish.

I fell unceremoniously to the ground. I was my attackers - no, my killers - turn and walk away laughing and joking before my world went dark. And that's where the story gets weird.

I felt something stir inside of me. That's an overused expression, but I mean it quite literally. I felt something move inside of me, something was stirring, something was changing me, in the most painful way possible. My eyes snapped open and I vomited blood and dinner all over the street. All of the bullets in my chest began to force themselves out of my skin and fell to ground. My broken bones snapped back into their proper place before being snapped out of it again. Everything was stretching, growing, tearing and contorting. When it was all over I towered over my murderers who cowered in fear.

I was a god.

[Geez3r]

Kwame Patterson. That was the name of one of my killers. Specifically he was the one who had hit me in the back repeatedly. He was the first and only fully normal person I hit with my full strength as Atlas. The force of the blow reduced his body to something between chunky salsa and red mist.

I would later say that I was horrified at what I had done, and it was a mistake brought about by not knowing the full limits of my strength. That was a lie. I really did enjoy turning that waste of flesh into nothing more than a stain. The other thugs turned tail and beat feet, screaming "monster". One of them was brave enough to squeeze off a couple of shots, trying in vain to stop me. I threw him into a brick wall for his efforts, but I was nice enough to pull my strength enough to not send him through it.

And I kept at it, picking them off one by one, like a killer in a horror film. And then there was just one left, the ring leader behind it all. His name was Vinny Nickles, or at least that's what he was known as in certain circles. He had made his way to a little hopped up muscle car. He sped off with the tires screeching, reducing me to a red smudge in his rear view mirror. Or so he though.

I leap high into the air, making up the distance between us almost instantly. I land bodily in front of his car. He tries desperately to swerve out of the way. But I swat the hood of his car, practically pancaking it, and I bring it to a complete stop. But in his hurry, Vinny never got to fasten his seatbelt. He was thrown from the vehicle, he did not survive.

[Geez3r]

"So my first night out as Atlas, I killed two people and hospitalized 7 others, two of which will stay there for the rest of their lives. Not exactly the greatest start." Confessed Sam to Vera. "After I calmed down, I swore I would never kill again, and I never have. I've never told any of the other heroes about this, but I suspect quite a few of them knew, they just didn't say anything about it. They just didn't force the issue out of some sort of professional courtesy."

Sam paused for a few minutes to collect his thoughts before continuing. "But I never felt it was wrong. I knew it was bad, but I didn't feel it was wrong. It was a necessary evil. That's why I fell into place with the Midnighters. Their views on morality were a little more... pragmatic than the other heroes. It's why I kept my distance from people like the Freedom League, I didn't think I could measure up, and that by even trying to join their ranks that I was lying to them."

"But I kept at it. I was involved, I kept heroing, but I kept my distance for the most part. Then it all came to a head when the Grue invaded. Try as I could, I couldn't shake off the Grue influence. But was I really trying my hardest? I'm physically stronger than anyone else I know, period. I always hold back, just a little bit, even in those life or death battles. To go all out, to feel that sort of power only I can truly bring to bear and to legitimately try to deliberately cause someone as much pain as possible... it was a release and it felt good.

These are good people Vera. The best. They'd die for a complete stranger. In the face of complete annihilation they won't back down because they know a friend needs their help. These are the people that will always bet on that one glimmer of hope and go all in every time. And all I could think about was how good it would feel to have their bones break in my hands. I-- I'm not even sure who I am anymore."

[Geez3r]

After that I just sort of break down. The last time I cried that much was when my parents were taken away and I was shipped off to parts unknown. Though I guess that kind of makes sense. It's whenever I'm at a crossroads in my life and don't have any idea where I'm headed. Kind of scary to know you're lost, regardless if you're 7 or 37. Truth be told I couldn't really sleep for a few weeks after the Invasion. To be betrayed by your own body, or rather have your body effectively stolen from you, I don't think it's something I'll ever truly get over.

It wouldn't be as scary if I knew it couldn't happen again, but there's always that chance. I know the Grue can't do it again. When I... died.... no, no that's not right. When I killed myself, I could feel the connection to the Meta Mind snap. Now I'm not an expert on the field, but I know the Meta Mind can't reach me now. At least without coming after me personally. But there is more than one telepath on the planet, I should know, I'm one of them.

I've experimented with my metal powers since I've developed them, which was immediately following the Invasion. Relatively speaking, my mental powers are quite limited. All I can do is brush aside your mental defenses and dig around for some information. I can't lift up objects with my mind, or make you do things. And the further away from me you are, the harder it is for me to do anything to you. But if I can get someone in my grasp, I can crack their minds open relatively easy. It scares me because I know the other psions don't face such restrictions and I know I couldn't stand up to my own psionic probing.

[Geez3r]

Vera eventually manages to calm Sam down again. It wasn’t necessarily what she said, did or even what she didn’t say or do; it was just the fact that she was there for him. It was just being around her. Sam couldn’t fully articulate why it happened, but Vera helped him through it. If he had to really try to describe it, she didn’t outwardly judge him, she just let him get it all out of his system. It was exactly what he needed to do. It was sort of a personal problem, and a relatively unique one at that. As corny as it sounds, admitting you have a problem really is the first step.

Sam eventually wound up staying the night with Vera. No not like that; he stayed in the guest room. After his morning how, he walked into the rest of the house only to notice Vera was nowhere to be found. He did find a hastily written note on the table however.

“Dear Sam,

I got called into work, they’ve got a bit of an emergency down here, and I need to help them sort it all out. I pulled a few strings and got you a car for use here. This isn’t Freedom, a giant red guy leaping all over Russia will raise eyebrows, and draw attention you don’t need right now.

I’ve included directions to our hometown, you probably don’t remember where it was because you were taken so young. I’ve also directions to where they took you. Both are abandoned now. I’d think it would do you good to visit them again. If you run into trouble, call me.

Be careful, and good luck,

Veraâ€

[Geez3r]

“Well that sucks.†muttered Sam as he finished the letter. He had really looked forward to continuing his talk with Vera. He looked over the directions and the contact information she had left for him as well. Trying to figure out what to do, he looked over her note again, and was disappointed to find that she didn’t let him know when she was coming back either. He debated calling her trying to figure out when she’d be back. He thought better of it though, it really did sound like she’d be very busy today.

After a quick breakfast, Sam headed out. The car she had gotten him was a clunker to be sure, but it was serviceable. Sam clambered into the car, but got in on the wrong side out of habit. Sliding over the other side, Same realize to his horror, that on top of everything else, it was a stick shift. “Driving on the wrong side of the road, in the wrong side of car that barely works, with the stick on the wrong side, and I’m driving on unfamiliar, snowy roads. And to top it all off, I haven’t gotten behind the wheel of a car for the better part of 4 months. This is gonna suck.â€

Despite all of this however, Sam did have a laugh at the fact that he was one of the few people in the world who could literally say that it’s be faster to get out and walk (or leap in his case). Through much grinding of the gears, a few spin outs and one ditch, Sam relatively arrived in one piece at his old hometown. He had elected to go to that rather than the state controlled area, as this one was a lot closer and it had more sentimental value.

[Geez3r]

Vera wasn’t kidding. The place was desolate. It looks like everyone just decided to pack up and leave one day. Or more likely, they were told to move at some point. Most of the structures were still standing, so it didn’t look like it was attacked. There was a good 8 inches of snow on the ground, so Sam got out of the car and decided that he should continue on foot. He really doubted he’d be able to control the car beyond this point anyway.

Snow crunching under his boot, Sam made his way through the outskirts of the town, heading towards the center. He noted that there were quite a few animal tracks in the snow, so he kept a wary eye out. He didn’t really want to fight off a pack of wild animals today.

Wishing he had brought a better jacket with him, Sam stepped into what was once the Soviet surplus shop after pulling a few boards off the door. It was dank and dirty, but it didn’t look like any (big) animals had gotten in, and the roof had held up pretty well. He was surprised to see that the back room was actually quite full of jackets, hats and other clothing. They really must have been in a hurry. thought Sam as he dug around in the back.