Stupid is as Stupid Does (IC)

[Supercape]

Supercape flew to the liberty park at his top speed, his cape flapping behind him. In his first few days in Freedom City, Colt had been good enough to show him the ropes of being a hero, and had finished with an off hand warning about Dr. Simian. It was light hearted, but because of the novelty and excitement of the situation, Supercape had taken it to heart.

And now, he had heard that the Ape Genius had set up some kind of Superweapon in the park itself!

He sped down to the centre of the Park, where he could see the Gorilla in his chair, twiddling the knobs on what looked like some kind of giant radio emitter.

"So, Supercape, come to stop my Idiot Beam have you? Let me assure you, your puny mind is no match for this. Soon the whole world will be reduced to the level of my simian brothers, and then they can rise above you puny homo sapiens! muahaha!"

[Electra]

Miss Americana was out on patrol as well when she heard the call. Supergeniuses like that made all of them look bad, and she didn't just mean the hairy face part! Changing her flight trajectory, she sped over to Liberty Park in a blur of red, white and blue, just in time to see Supercape arrive as well! It wouldn't hurt for him to have some backup, she decided. The simian villain was wily, and might just have a trick up his sleeve! She banked instead, moving to come around from behind and surprise him while he was distracted.

[Supercape]

Supercape paused, hovering in mid-air. "Mr. Simian, your foolish plots will come to nothing. Surely you realise that the answer lies in elevating your kindred species, not degrading the noble spirit of humankind. For as Shakespeare himself said: "What a piece of worke is a man! how Noble in Reason? how infinite in faculty? in forme and mouing how expresse and admirable? in Action, how like an Angel? in apprehension, how..."

Even Dr. Simian, no stranger to monologues, was tiring of this. "Oh shut up, you silly man!" he growled, and depressed the button. The device pounced to life, green sparks flying up and down its protruding wires, and a pulse of white - yellow light covered the park.

Supercape was most upset his knowledge of Shakespeare was not appreciated.

"Have you no love for the Bard, that mighty... master...of...." what did he do again? plays or something.

What was that monkey doing in that chair? it was floating. Gravity, or something. What was gravity again?

He giggled "monkey... make lights!"

[Electra]

It was immediately obvious to Miss A what had happened, as soon as Supercape stopped reciting Shakespeare and started babbling. "Some kind of mind ray," she muttered. "Well, it shouldn't effect me, famous last words..." She had to help her colleague, but the first thing to do was to remove the threat! Diving down through the air, she came up behind the distracted simian like an overwhelming wind of justice, wresting the gun from his hairy fingers! "Supercape!" she called. "Are you all right?"

[Supercape]

Pretty lady... met before? thought Supercape, trying to concentrate. It was like walking up a muddy hill wearing ski's.

"Pretty lady...met before?" he said. It was clearly impossible to think without speaking. Perhaps with a good deal effort he might only mouth the words.

"Monkey man make lights. Head feels silly" he gave her an innane grin.

"Ooooh" he said, looking down "me in sky! ground down there!" he pointed at the park several meters below them and wiggled his legs excitedly.

[Electra]

"Stay there!" Miss A ordered him. Definitely an intelligence draining ray. Diabolical. But hopefully temporary. She pointed the gun at the simian scientist. gazing levelly down the barrel at him. "I'm going to shoot you with this now," she informed him coolly. "If it isn't a temporary brain-drain effect, I suggest you tell me the antidote right now so there is some hope of reviving your intellect eventually."

[Supercape]

"Hehe Monkey man talk! Monkey man talk!" clapped Supercape excitedly.

Dr. Simian was clearly nervous when the idiot beam was pointed at his own cranium. "Now, now, lets not be too hasty" he said, holding up his hands carefully "if you reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, the subjects intellect should be restored shortly..."

"Wheeee!" said Supercape "Me make pretty lights!"

And with that, an atom exploded in his hands, releasing a blinding electromagnetic pulse blinding every one for nearly half a mile, and frying every radio receive in the same diameter.

Blinded himself, Dr. Simian still knew how to take an opportunity when it was handed him. He aimed his hover chair to the skies and flew off as fast as possible. "Farewell, human fools! Soon the whole world will be morons once I erect my mega-idiotizer on the Pyramid Plaza! muahaha!"

[Electra]

One moment, Miss A seemed in consummate control of the situation, ready to take on the simian mastermind. The next moment, she was falling out of the sky, tumbling to earth like a broken doll. She hit hard and didn't move, only the small motions of breathing showing she was still alive.

A mile away in Midtown, Gina jolted in her recliner and opened her eyes with a shouted oath. "Dammit, dammit," she muttered, her head ringing as she sat up. He entire brain felt wrapped in cotton, unable to escape her head to go anywhere. She wasn't going to be able to get back into the robot until the sensation wore off. By then, who knew what could happen? After two seconds of endless indecision and weighing of her options, Gina headed upstairs to grab her jacket. She was going... out.

[Supercape]

Supercape watched the frozen body of Miss America tumble to the ground. He floated down herself at a more leisurely pace, upset that the funny monkey man had gone.

"Funny monkey man gone" he sad, sadly, as he floated down.

He tugged at Miss Americana's arm, worried that she hadn't like his pretty lights.

"Pretty lady not like pretty lights?" he asked.

[Electra]

Miss Americana flopped to her back when he grabbed her arm, revealing wide-open eyes in a fixed stare. Her whole body was entirely limp, alarmingly so, to anyone in command of their faculties. The civilians had cleared well out of the way during the altercation, but a few of the bravest ones were beginning to creep back onto the scene. "Is she okay?" one of them murmured. "Should we call an ambulance?"

[Supercape]

Supercape squinted, in an almost comedic cross eyed fashion. Despite his befuddled brain, his ability to sense all sorts of pretty atoms and quantum fluctuations was intact. And the pretty lady wasn't making a pretty beam of raydywayve anymore.

"Wake up, pretty lady, make raydwave!" he said, giving her a nudge. He hopped from foot to foot in anxiety.

"Get the nee-nar bus, get the nee-nar bus!" he said to the audience, who were clearly quite shocked at his idiotic behaviour.

[Electra]

Gina thought about taking her people-mover, but realized if she did that, she would have to rely on the blitzed out Supercape to follow her home, and he might just forget and carry the robot god-knew where. A car was in order. She hopped into her shiny green Chevy Volt and lit out for the park, the car's fake engine noise revving away as she sped through the streets, avoiding or timing the traffic lights. She'd arranged the grid near her house for maximum convenience, even if she never went out, so within scant minutes, she was driving right up to the pavilion where her defunct robot and its unlucky pal were waiting.

She shoved through the crowd, which was growing larger by the minute. Kneeling down by the robot, she asked with great concern, "You okay, boss? Wake up!" even as she slid a hand around to the robot's back. A hidden switch activated Voice Command Mode, locked to Gina's own voice, and had the robot blinking its eyes and looking around as though waking from sleep. "Oh good, you're all right. Sit up now." Without lifting her head or looking directly at anyone, Gina said louder, "She's all right, everything's fine. Go get in the car." Obediently, Miss A rose and headed for the little hybrid, climbing into the passenger seat. "And, um,you should get in the car too," she told Supercape, staring at his shoes.

[Supercape]

"Me go in broom broom?" asked Supercape "with pretty lady?"

"Where is broom broom going?" he asked, wondering if she should trust the lady who was not pretty.

"Should me trust lady in't pretty?" he said.

"Did me just say that?" he asked, scratching his head.

"Me confused!" he exclaimed, thus finally pronouncing some truth.

[Electra]

"You want to go with the pretty lady, don't you?" Gina asked, lifting her face to look the man in the eyes. It wasn't hard when he was so totally out of it, though it was weird looking up at him when she was used to looking through Miss A's eyes. "She will want to see you! I'll give you a piece of candy and some soda if you come along," she added slyly. "It tastes so good, but only if you come now." She walked away towards the car, hoping he would follow. If he didn't, she'd have to leave him to his own devices and trust that someone would call the Freedom League or something.

[Supercape]

"Errr" replied Supercape, not knowing what to do.

"Me not knowing what to do" he said.

He scratched his head. "So that means me comes in broom broom. Can you make me think more cleverer again? Thinking so hard. Thinking boring. "

"Me teach stuff at school. Numbers and stuff. Me not sure me can do that now. Numbers all funny. Me count 1...2....3...errr.... many...."

"What me do? Me hungry and me not know what to do now!" he started crying as he followed Gina, hanging on to her arm.

[Electra]

"Augh!" Gina quickly reclaimed her arm and shoved the addled hero into the backseat of the car. "Come on, I'll feed you and figure out how to get your brain working again. Just leave off with the grabby hands, okay? Stay right there." She clicked on the child safety locks for good measure and hastily got into the driver's seat, with Miss A passively turning her head and looking out the windows as they drove off. "Can't go home," Gina muttered, "better hit up the lab."

[Supercape]

"Why is pretty lady not speaking? Pretty lady not my friend any more? Pretty lady was nice to me before. Except made me nasty coffee. Me made her glowy stuff."

He smiled with a vacant expression on his mind, and formed a star shaped ball of quantum matter in front of Gina, that bobbed up and down.

"You like glowy stuff too?" he asked.

[Electra]

"Jesus Christ!" Gina slammed on the brakes as the ball of quantum material impaired her vision. "You don't even exist, you ill-defined mass of subatomic nonsense, I could explain you away in half a page of theoretical equations! DON'T do that anymore!" she added to Supercape as the ball dissipated. "I have to see to be able to drive! She'll talk to you in a few minutes, just be as quiet as you can until then. She's resting." Gina drove as quickly as she could towards the lab, praying she wasn't going to get herself into a ticket or an accident and just cap off this day.

She pulled around to the back of the office building where her lab was, parking across two spots. "Get out, both of you," she ordered. "The food and soda's in here, you better come with me if you want any." The robot followed with perfect obedience, the primitive AI interpreting and following commands flawlessly.

[Supercape]

Supercape dutifully followed. He looked rather forlorn. "Other lady no like glowy stuff" he said to himself, with a downturned mouth. He gave her a scowl when she had her back turned.

When he got inside the lab, he looked around and pointed at the quantum matter he had left her previously "look, glowy stuff. Me remember here. A bit. Did me leave my thinky here?" he asked, pointing at his head.

[Electra]

"It's possible," Gina allowed absently, pouring some water into a souped-up hot pot that boiled in the time it took her to unwrap and open a cup of instant noodles. While the noodles soaked, she collected a can of Coke from the fridge and a handful of fun-size Snickers bars from a plastic pumpkin. "Here," she told Supercape, giving him the promised candy and soda. "Eat this, and then I'll give you something else. Just stay where you are and don't go anywhere. With the idiot scientist's attention briefly occupied, she gathered up her tools and set about repairing the mostly cosmetic damage to Miss A and resetting the radio receiver components.

[Supercape]

Supercape perched on his stool kicking his feet and munching on his snickers bar. He looked around the room. Unfortunately, his variety of supersenses were still active, and his inquisitive personality was no less dimmed.

"Funny stuff here" he said, poking a minimaxitron. "All sparkly with lights inside and stuff".

He grinned at her. "Me make sparkly lights?" he held up his hand and peered "very small things go whizz together. Make boom boom?"

[Electra]

"No!" Gina said firmly, hastily turning to make sure he wasn't going to start using some other power right then and there. "Come on, just give me a break, I'll do a brain scan on you in a minute." Leaving the robot for a moment, she retrieved the less-hot cup of instant noodles, her own stomach reminding her crossly that she hadn't eaten yet either. That would wait. Grabbing a plastic fork and sticking it in the cup, she shoved the whole thing at the addled hero. "Here, eat this and be quiet, okay?" she half-begged, then went back to the robot.

[Supercape]

Supercape played with the fork for a while, stirring the noodles and eating a mouthful. A few noodles landed on his cape, and one dangled out of his mouth, dribbling soya sauce.

He sighed, and started fiddling with a spectrotherm lying on the table. "Me bored" he complained. And sighed again.

"Why is pretty lady not saying anything? Me liked pretty lady. Pretty lady was pretty" he got up and started poking her.

"Pretty lady WAKE UP!"

[Electra]

"Stop it!" Gina shrieked, grabbing the spectrotherm from his hands and making it shoot giant sparks at him. "I should never have brought you here! Just sit down and shut up and stop touching my things!" She fended him away from the robot, then turned and ran out of the room entirely, slamming the door behind her.

A few moments later, Miss A turned her head and blinked, stretching as though waking from sleep. "Oh, Supercape, there you are," she said, perfectly pleasantly. "We'd better get you fixed up. Why don't you lay on this nice table for just an itsy-bitsy second while I look for your thinky?"

[Supercape]

"Hello pretty lady!" smiled Supercape, clapping his hands "Me happy to see you"

He looked around "where did other lady go?". The noodle whipped around his mouth as he turned his head, but refused to depart.

He climbed up on the table.

"My thinky not good. " he said as he lay down "All me remember is monkey man make bright light. "

He smiled again "me can make bright light, me show you..."