I KAN HAZ HUMANITY? [IC]

[Cubist]

Journal of Jay Nelson Xavier, excerpt from 9 February 2011 entry:

...an appointment at ArcheTech, because he didn't think he had enough medical mojo to handle the crazy [bg=black]xxix[/bg] that comes with metahuman biology. Personally, I like Dr. Harris; good bedside manner, keeps up with new developments in his specialties, all that and a [bg=black]xxxxixx[/bg] bag of chips.

Still and all, Harris is probably right. Biology is a messy enough subject when you're dealing with mundane critters that obey all known physical laws; throw in the weirdness that's required in order to accommodate things like my Timeshift, and you pretty much need to be an ArcheTech-level supergenius just to pass muster in that field. And that good, Harris just isn't. By no means is he stupid, but... let's just say there's no shame in being shorter than Mount Everest, okay?

So like I said: ArcheTech. 9:30 appointment on 10 February. Of course there's no [bg=black]xxxxixx[/bg] way Dr. Archeville himself will be there; with the number of pies that man's got his fingers in, he's got to be booked up solid until the 12th of Never! That's alright; just seeing the inside of ArcheTech's global HQ is a [bg=black]xxxxxx[/bg] rare treat...

---

"Jay Xavier. I'm here for my 9:30 appointment."

The receptionist hadn't batted an eye when the bipedal cheetah stepped up to her counter, ID in hand. Raised one eyebrow at the inhuman sound of his voice, yes; batted an eye, no. Either ArcheTech made 'unflappable' a job requirement, or else she'd seen weirder things than Jay on her tray in the company cafeteria. "Of course, Mr. Xavier," she replied, accepting his driver's license ("HAIR: YLW w/ BLK SPOTS") and Social Security card with professionally smooth motions. After feeding the cards through some sort of scanning device Jay couldn't see clearly from his side of the counter. "Please sign in," she went on, handing Jay's cards back to him with her left hand and holding a clipboard out in her right hand.

Jay signed in, and exchanged the clipboard for a visitor's pass on a lanyard, which he hung around his neck. "Your appointment is on the fourth floor, in room 412. Please keep your pass with you at all times while you're in the building; among other things, it contains a transponder for the internal navigation system."

"Gotcha," the cheetah said with a nod. Then, squinting at her nametag, "Thanks, Ms..."

"Call me Gretchen."

"Thanks, Ms. Gretchen. Be seeing you." And he walked over to the nearest elevator...

[Dr Archeville]

The ride was smooth, with classical music playing clearly from concealed speakers. Once it reached the 4th floor, the doors opened, and lit arrows appeared on the floor and the wall immediately before the elevator, which Xavier quickly realized were pointing him towards room 412.

The room was a standard doctor's examination room: chair, bed with paper cover (though the bed was actually semi-comfortable), sink with a few drawers and cabinets, and assorted examination tools on the counter and attached to the wall, and a few semi-current general interest magazines in a basket by the window. The quality of the gear was far better than the average doctor's office -- the disinfectants even smelled nicer! -- but it was still very recognizably a doctor's exam room.

Xavier was not kept waiting long; a knock at the door preceded the entrance of two figures, a woman followed by a man. The woman was a slightly heavyset tanned brunette, looking to be in her mid-30s, with blue slacks and a white dress shirt under her labcoat; her long hair was up in a bun, she wore glasses, and in her hands was something that looked like an iPad. She introduced herself as Doctor Phyllis Rao, indicated she had copies of his med records from Dr. Harris and had already reviewed them, and asked how Xavier was doing, if he was experiencing any unusual aches or pains; her voice had a slight Harlem accent.

Xavier barely heard any of that, as his focus was instead on the man behind Dr. Rao: the world-renowned Doktor Viktor Archeville.

You are a kitty!

"Hello, Mister Xavier!," he said, smiling and extending a hand. "I hope you do not mind me accompanying the very skilled Dr. Rao." He turned slightly to give her a smiling nod, then turned back to their patient, "I try to be present for the first exam of any new Metahuman patient, because... well, because I can!"

[Cubist]

Archeville himself -- in the flesh!? "Hhrr..." Jay spent a few upshifted seconds recovering from the shock of the surprise, before he spoke. "Right. Hello, Doktor Archeville," he said, raising one hand in greeting. "I don't have any objections, so... if it's okay by Dr. Rao, it's okay by me. Hope I don't waste your time." Then, turning his attention to the person he'd been expecting to meet: "I... don't know if I've had any unusual aches or pains. I mean, what is 'unusual' for a sentient cheetah? I, hhrr..." Come on, Jay, she's a doctor. She's got to know if she's gonna do her job. "I do, hrrm... This body. Really ought to be quadrupedal. So, you know, I get backaches. And, rr, maybe some strained muscles. It's okay if I stay in fast-time, but, you know, downshifting just acts as a stress multiplier, what with the gravity thing," and I'm babbling. Time to shut up. "and, hhhrm, I guess that's it."

[Dr Archeville]

"Foot and hip pains, too, I should expect," Archeville said, "since your pelvis and feet are in no way suited for bipedal walking. It would be like," he began to chuckle, "if I walked around on my tiptoes, while bent over backwards!"

You are a kitty! You are a very large kitty!

Archeville's eyes suddenly went wide, and he turned again to Dr. Rao, "I do apologize, Mister Xavier is your patient, I should not be interrupting your work. I will just... stand here in the corner and observe." He took two steps to the left, "Quietly."

Dr. Rao smiled and said the interruption was no bother at all, then continued with her exam. It all started basically enough, checking the eyes, ears, nose and throat, respiration rate and blood pressure, pressing here and there for any tenderness or soreness, and so on. Through it all, Archeville watched, quietly, keenly, grinning the entire time.

You are a- no, no, stop that. Jay Xavier is as sapient as any other person. It is a true miracle he is able to stand and walk as he does for as long as he does; I cannot wait to see the x-rays and do a workup of his nervous system! Though what I am most keen on finding is how this happened: his mind is clearly human, but the body has undergone so many radical changes. Though I suspect some brain changes, to go with the alterations to the body. His speech is a prime example of the melding: he seems to have just enough modifications to his vocal tract to enable speech, but not enough for clear speech. The growl-snarl he makes when a person might normally be going 'uh' or 'um' -- is that a purely physical thing, or is there more to it? How did this happen to you?

[Cubist]

"Foot and hip pains, too, I should expect," Archeville said, "since your pelvis and feet are in no way suited for bipedal walking. It would be like," he began to chuckle, "if I walked around on my tiptoes, while bent over backwards!"

The cheetah nodded. "Yeah. Got it in one. I, rr, I know it's not, going bipedal isn't, good for me, but..." He shook his head. "It's... the looks are bad enough. And there's stuff I have no choice about -- I mean, obligate carnivore, okay? But I will be dead, buried, and damned before I voluntarily act like a..." No suitable adjectives came to mind. "Animal," he finally snarled.

The preliminaries went smoothly enough, and confirmed that Archeville had been accurate in his judgement about Jay's condition. As well, the readings Rao took were firmly within the range of what was normal for a healthy, adult cheetah. Through it all, Jay cooperated in silence, speaking only to respond to questions.

"I have to admit," Dr. Rao asked, "I'm curious about how you got this way -- I don't see anything in your files that could explain your current condition."

Jay's shoulders moved forward-and-up, then back again. Likely his version of a shrug, given the context, thought the observant Dr. Archeville; the cheetah said, "You know as much as I do, Doc -- as much as anybody does. The 24/7 fur coat, here... I took delivery on it last year, right around the Grue Invasion. So, hrrrm, maybe a Grue sleeper agent sprinkled cheetah dust on my cornflakes? Or maybe it's just a stupid coincidence, I dunno."

"As good a preliminary hypothesis as any," Rao stated. "With your permission, we'll want a full range of tissue samples... also brainwaves, ultrasonic and positronic tomography --"

"Go for it," the cheetah said. "If it's anything that even might be useful, you got carte blanche from me."

[Dr Archeville]

At the mention of the Grue Invasion, Archeville's left eyebrow raised slightly. "Doctor Harris left that bit off the chart. That... is very interesting...

You are a- right, stop that. Okay, so... Grue sleeper agent, like the ones who went kaiju and wrecked the city? If so, what stopped him from fully turning? Or is this something different? Could Harris be a Grue agent? Having agents in the medical field, hiding their mutagens within vaccines and such, could be one way they got so many subjects.

Dr. Rao ran many tests, some of which Xavier grasped the purpose of, a few of which went over his head, at least the first time they were explained; Archeville had a knack for breaking down complex procedures into simpler analogies. Several pieces of the equipment (like the beds for the MRI and CAT scan machines) had to be altered to accommodate Xavier's nonhuman body design, though he was pleasantly surprised to see how easily the equipment could be configured -- ArcheTech really was set up to deal with beings of all shapes, sizes, and abilities. Archeville stayed close by the whole time, though he let Rao run the show; Xavier was her patient, and when oddities came up that she could not immediately explain, a few brief words guided her back on the right track. Which is not to say that all he did was stand and observe: out of Rao's eyesight, he had palmed his Electromagnetic Screwdriver and remotely ran a few scans of his own. Xavier did notice this, and Archeville noticed that he noticed, and reacted by giving the speedster a sly wink.

Amazing! He is in some sort of time-shift field, but it is to slow him down; his own body is permanently stuck at an accelerated rate, and the time-shift allows him to interact with us at a normal pace! But was that an intended side-effect of this, or unintentional?

At the end of the day, it was a god news/bad news situation. Good news, his mutation seemed stable, so barring any external exposures, he was in no trouble of having a mental reversion, his mind would ever be his own. Bad news, the change that had been done to him had the earmarks of being a Grue project.

[Cubist]

At the mention of the Grue Invasion, Archeville's left eyebrow raised slightly. "Doctor Harris left that bit off the chart. That... is very interesting..."

Jay did his personal version of a shrug. "Yeah, well, all we got is a coincidence of dates. Not, kkhhrr, not exactly a solid link, you know? Maybe ArcheTech can confirm or deny, hrrmm?"

At one point, Dr. Rao asked: "Mr. Xavier, the structures in your neck and throat are fully cheetah-like, as best I can tell. How do you manage to speak?"

"I don't," Jay replied. "Yeah, my throat can't make any of the phonemes of human speech... but we cheetahs are great on sound effects. Clicks and hisses and chirps and everything, okay? So, rr, what I do is, I string a bunch of sound effects together so that they're easily mistaken for phonemes and words. It's not speech, not really it's not, but, hrrrmm, an incredible simulation."

[Dr Archeville]

"That -- if I may," Archeville said to both Dr. Rao and Jubatus, "seems to be an odd distinction to make."

Poor kitty! I mean, poor fella! I mean, poor man! Is there some sort of "I am no longer a man, so I cannot speak as a man, therefore what I am doing is not really speaking" dissonance going on?

"If you are forcing your throat to make phonemes, if you human mind is making you nonhuman throat and voice box make those sounds -- and, I would add, all tests indicate your mind is still very human, and both it and your body show no signs of instability or threat of degradation -- then you are making phonemes. And if you are stringing those phonemes together to make words and sentences, that is vocalized communication. You are speaking to us!"

[Cubist]

Jay gave the hyper-genius an 'if looks could maim' glare -- but he upshifted quickly enough that said glare endured for only a moment, and he spent long enough in fast-time that he was basically calm when he returned to the common tempo of 1, the speed at which everyone else operated.

"Not that simple, Dr. Archeville," the cheetah said. "Sure, I'm communicating. But my current set of equipment" -- he gestured at his throat -- "just isn't up to the standard of a real vocal tract. Lousy control of pitch and volume. And fine control in general, it's either crippled or just plain not there. Yeah, it performs the function, I can communicate, but it's a fifth-rate ersatz knockoff of real speech. What I do, it's not really talking, and saying it is, hrrr, you might as well say that week-old hamburger is the same as fresh sirlion. Hey, they're both meat, so what's the difference, you know?"

Jay growled under his breath; then, with downcast eyes, said, "Look, there's no point in us talking about, hrrr, talking. Not unless you've got something in mind that can fix my throat -- surgery, hormone treatments, I don't care what --" and he broke off, pondering a new idea, an idea he wasn't sure if he wanted to be true or not. Then, uncertainly: "Can you fix my throat?

"Can you fix... me?"

[Dr Archeville]

Since his change, Jay Xavier normally worked at 100x normal speed -- but so did the mind of Viktor Archeville. He did catch Jubatus's glare, but his own face retained its smile.

Poor ki- stop that! Clearly he has a slew of psychological issues stemming from his transmogrification, a not uncommon occurrence, so care must be exercised. The voice issue, for one: he does not sound completely human, true, there are irregularities due to his physiology, but they are not as great as he is making them out to be. He seems convinced that, since he is no longer a man, he must not be able to speak as a man, so he hears himself as worse than he truly is.

Dr. Rao, meanwhile, was running over a half dozen treatment options for her patient. She was nowhere in Archeville's league when it came to genetics -- much less the dozens of other disciplines he'd mastered -- but she was far from a slouch. Archeville nodded along with most of what she was tossing out, though a few times he shook his head and pointed out something from the scans and records (or informing her of something she was simply unaware of) that refuted her.

"In most situations, that course of treatment would be recommended, yes, but recall the latest reports from ASTRO Labs, the work done on reversing the changes wrought on the bioweapons from the last Grue invasion." He said nothing more, merely nodded grimly, as did Dr. Rao.

Poor people, not enough that the Grue turned them into weapons, but left boobytraps in their genes so that if we tried to reverse the changes, the common retromutagens we have used before would instead cause catastrophic failure of multiple organs.

[Cubist]

It was a novel experience for Jay, being the dumbest person in the room. Novel, and rather unpleasant. He wasn't sure how much of his present disquiet was bleedover from his fear of his mind decaying to a purely animal level, a fear that had haunted the first few weeks of his current life... Get a grip, Jay. You're not turning stupid; these guys just are that smart. It didn't help that he lacked the training or background to understand more than a fraction of what the doctor and the Doktor were saying to one another.

"In most situations, that course of treatment would be recommended, yes,"

'Most' situations? Jay thought (but did not say). Where's the 'but', Dok?

"but recall the latest reports from ASTRO Labs, the work done on reversing the changes wrought on the bioweapons from the last Grue"

What!? And now Jay upshifted, reviewing the doctors' conversation at high speed: Had they found evidence to confirm that the Grue genuinely were behind his transformation? No -- not that Jay could tell, at least.

"invasion."

They really were going to just let him keep wearing this damned body -- the enraged cheetah blurred in front of the two doctors. "Hold it," he snarled in their faces. "You two may have N times morre IQ points than me, but that does not give you the rright to play games with my frrigging life!"

Dr. Rao stared at Doktor Archeville for a moment, then gave the feline a blank look. "Ah... excuse me..? I don't think I --"

"Yeah, rright. What makes you so damn surre I am a Grrue prroject?" the spotted cat growled. "Yourr final answerr bloody well betterr not involve the rruddy date when I got this perrmanent five-o-clock shadow!"

"Ah... no... genetic markers..." Rao began. Now Archeville spoke up; he knew very well that he and Dr. Rao had discussed the very evidence that Rao's patient was demanding. Clearly, Mr. Xavier had not grasped the information the first time it was mentioned. The Doktor went over it again, this time making sure that Mr. Xavier comprehended.

As he listened, Jay's ears sank and his tail hung limp. "Oh. Right," he said, slumping against a table. Why You May Not Want An Overclocked Brain (#1 in a continuing series): Fast neurons jump to conclusions every bit as quickly as they perform any other mental function... "I... I'm sorry. I'll just, hrrrm, keep my damn mouth shut. Sorry."

[Dr Archeville]

"Your concern is completely warranted, Mr. Xavier," Archeville said calmly, "and if there is a way to safely reverse your transformation, I am confident we will find it. As I explained, the Grue tend to 'trap' the genetic changes they do so that using the most common reversing agents cause catastrophic organ failure for the patient, but there are many, man options."

This will take a good deal of trial and error -- even I have never seen a change quite like this! If all else fails, I suppose we could try and scour his home for hair follicles and shed skin from his pre-transformed body, try and grow an unaltered human clone from that, ans transfer his consciousness into it. In fact, having those samples on-hand now would be good, for use as a comparison, to know what to shoot for.

"Ah, Mr. Xavier, would you allow some of my people into your home to do a search for samples of your pre-transformation DNA? Having them on hand would aid us greatly, give us a target to shoot for, which would be more useful than simply trying to undo anything that looks like it does not belong in here," he tapped on the computer pad Rao held, the one displaying Jubatus' genetic code.

[Cubist]

"Your concern is completely warranted, Mr. Xavier," Archeville said calmly, "and if there is a way to safely reverse your transformation, I am confident we will find it. As I explained, the Grue tend to 'trap' the genetic changes they do so that using the most common reversing agents cause catastrophic organ failure for the patient, but there are many, many options."

Jay frowned at Archeville. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Doktor. And lay off the sunny forecasts -- I only want the truth out of you, no matter how unpleasant that truth might be."

"Ah, Mr. Xavier, would you allow some of my people into your home to do a search for samples of your pre-transformation DNA? Having them on hand would aid us greatly, give us a target to shoot for, which would be more useful than simply trying to undo anything that looks like it does not belong in here," he tapped on the computer pad Rao held, the one displaying Jubatus' genetic code.

"Not necessary," the feline said as he reached into one of his many vest-pockets and pulled out a small, sealed plastic pouch that contained some loose strands of hair. Handing the pouch over to Dr. Rao, he explained, "Here you go -- hair from a comb of mine."

"Thank you, Mr. Xavier!" Dr. Rao said. "I must admit, this is a pleasant surprise. How did you know you'd need to bring this with you?"

"I didn't know I'd need it," Jay replied with his unique shrug. "I just figured it might be useful, and 'better to have and not need, than to need and not have', you know? Go wild. And... yeah, if that's not enough, you got my permission to send a team for a DNA search-and-retrieve. Probably won't find anything useful -- the place I was living at the time, they've got to have cleaned it up and rented to a new tenant by now -- but it's worth a shot anyway."

[Dr Archeville]

Aww, kitty has claws! I- gah, stop that!

"Of course I do not mean to give any sense of false hope, Mr. Xavier," the Doktor said calmly, still maintaining a friendly tone, "so, yes, it is possible that even we will not be able to undo the transformation. But, I do have to say, both I and all those I have in my employ here have excellent track records, so I am fully confident that we can at the very least do something to bring you closer to something you desire, and to alleviate any pains or discomforts you suffer."

When Jubatus produced the baggie of hairs, Archeville's face registered -- for just an instant -- sincere shock.

Wow! I wonder if he was a Boy Scout?

"A most commendable attitude, Mr. Xavier!," the Doktor replied, his smile growing a bit wider as he took the pouch. "Though I suppose I should know better than to assume you would be living in the same place. I will have a genome writeup done on these, that will let us know what you were, and will thus help us in our attempts to get you back to that point." He examined the pouch, looking for root bulbs which would hold the most useable DNA.

I really should be delegating more of this to others -- I cannot do everything for everyone that comes in. And Rao is certainly skilled enough, for most of the work at least. I need a psychologist specializing in body issues, too, on the off chance that we cannot do anything for him.

[Cubist]

"Of course I do not mean to give any sense of false hope, Mr. Xavier," the Doktor said calmly, still maintaining a friendly tone...

And then Jay's brain caught up with his overly speedy mouth: Congratulations: You just mouthed off to the finest scientific mind of the last several decades! Hey -- wanna see how far you can push Archie before he loses his temper? The feline winced...

... "so, yes, it is possible that even we will not be able to undo the transformation. But, I do have to say, both I and all those I have in my employ here have excellent track records, so I am fully confident that we can at the very least do something to bring you closer to something you desire, and to alleviate any pains or discomforts you suffer."

"Okay," the feline replied in a subdued manner, if not quite 'tone'. "I, hrrm, right. Sorry about snapping at you -- I just, hrmm, mood swings. Borderline personality disorder, my shrink says. We're working on it."

"A most commendable attitude, Mr. Xavier!," the Doktor replied, his smile growing a bit wider as he took the pouch. "Though I suppose I should know better than to assume you would be living in the same place.

Jay shrugged. "My landlord was allergic to cats. I figured I didn't want to find out the hard way if that includes cheetahs."

"I will have a genome writeup done on these, that will let us know what you were, and will thus help us in our attempts to get you back to that point."

"Thank you, Doktor Archeville." Then, turning his attention to Dr. Rao: "Hrrrm, now what? This is all pretty new to me -- do the tissue samples next? Brainwave scans? Hrr, metabolic study on a treadmill? You're the doctor..."

"Tissue samples first," was Rao's reply. Before long, Rao had samples of Jay's fur, blood, lymphatic fluid, earwax, saliva, and mucus, as well as a millimeter-sized chunk of muscle. The only bodily fluid not represented was semen; when Rao mentioned it, Jay's deeply horrified expression was enough to persuade her to do without that particular substance.

[Dr Archeville]

Yes, definitely get a copy of his psych profile from his therapist.

"I have been told far worse, Mr. Xavier, " the Doktor replied to his apology with a dismissive wave, still in his calm and amicable tone, "though the sentiment is appreciated. However, ah, once she is done," he nodded towards Dr. Rao, "you may be even more sore," he added with a slightly off-putting chuckle.

Time passed, assays were ran, tests were done, and Jubatus saw that each new result caused more questions to spring into the minds of his doctors. Which they all disclosed with him, as best as they were able.

"Well, my first question is chromosomal differential. Humans have 46, cheetahs -- all cats, from tabbys to tigers -- only have 38. Mr. Xavier here appears to only have 38 chromosomes..."

"Ja, but it is not that he lost eight chromosomes, their material was redistributed amongst all the others. See -- same number of chromosomes, his are just bigger than a normal cheetah's because he has more human DNA to pack into it. Very neatly so, too. I would wager they put in some practice on this."

"It could explain why they went with cheetah: genetically, they're extremely stable. The level of heterozygosity within the entire cheetah population is of a similar order to that of brothers and sisters; the are almost clones of each other. Easy to get a read of the species-wide genome with just a few subjects, enough to not alert anyone of disappearances even with their near-endangered status."

"And few negative genetic traits in the genome, since, well, they all had to be bred out in order for the species to survive with such small numbers, since there were no new ones to add genetic diversity."

"Though this still does not explain why they went for a one-way, mostly non-humanoid morph."

"A new type of infiltrator? One that doesn't set off standard Grue detection systems, since there are no active shapeshifting elements in him? Experiments in turning subjects into animals as part of a plan to replace the pets of important targets with trained agents?"

Diabolical, really. Also a potentially nasty form of punishment. Best not to think of that, though.

[Cubist]

Jay Xavier sincerely believed that truth was better than lies, that reality was better than fantasy, that painful facts were better than the most comforting of wishful thinking. But there were times when he could understand why other people might feel differently... and listening to the the Doctor and Doktor as they discussed his condition was one of those times. So it sucks. BFD. If it's true, suckage won't make it not-true; if it's false, lack of suckage won't make it true. Damnit.

While the scientists conversed, Jay kept his mouth shut, as he'd promised earlier. His face was unreadable, only partially because of its inhuman anatomy. However, his ears (flat against his skull), tail (hanging to the floor, utterly limp), and posture (hunched in on himself) constituted reliable indicators of his mood (sad & depressed, and getting more so).

"-- does not explain why they went for a one-way, mostly non-humanoid morph," Dr. Rao pointed out.

"A new type of infiltrator?" Archeville replied. "One that doesn't set off standard Grue detection systems, since there are no active shapeshifting elements in him? Experiments in turning subjects into animals as part of a plan to replace the pets of important targets with trained agents?"

At this point, Rao turned to Jay... and the instant her eyes met his, she decided to forego the line of inquiry she'd originally thought to bring him in on. The poor man's heard more than enough, was her immediate thought. "Perhaps, Doktor Archeville, we could... refrain from speculating on an alien species' motives?" she said, and the unspoken terminal clause 'in my patient's presence' hung silently in the air between them. Now what -- ah! -- Returning her attention to Jay, she said, "You know, we can finish examining your tissue samples any time -- there's no need for us to perform all those procedures right this minute. So how about if we shift gears, and do something your presence is genuinely required for? Namely, the brain work."

The feline frowned at Rao. "Hrrm... I'd hoped... rrraaooww!" he snarled. If it's true, suckage won't make it not-true. "Fine. Let's, hrrr, let's get it over with."

"I think I understand your concern, Mr. Xavier. Given how extensively the rest of your body was transformed, you think it's likely that there's a high degree of, ah, 'cheetah intrusion' in your brain, correct?"

The feline glared at her. "No schist, Sherlock!" he snapped -- just before he 'blurred in place' for a moment or two, after which he was a good deal calmer. "Hrrm, you're right, I am worried about that. But, hrr, better to know than not. However badly it sucks, it won't suck any less if I stay clueless, so..." And he trailed off with a shrug.

No wonder he's a hero, Rao thought. Anyone who can be functional when they're facing up to something like this, is a person who simply will not be fazed by anything as trivial as muggers and supervillains. "I understand, Mr. Xavier. But given your known and documented behavior, particularly in the last few months, there's good reason to suspect that any such 'intrusion' which may exist in your brain is comparatively minor!"

"You don't know that," Jay said with a disquieting frown.

"No. I don't," Rao replied. "But at the same time, you don't know that I'm wrong, do you? All I'm saying is... it's not hopeless. Let's begin, shall we?"

And the brain scans started with something relatively simple, a high-end electroencephalograph...

[Dr Archeville]

"Perhaps, Doktor Archeville, we could... refrain from speculating on an alien species' motives?" she said, and the unspoken terminal clause 'in my patient's presence' hung silently in the air between them.

"Of course, Dr. Rao," a suddenly contrite Archeville replied. "I do apologize, Mr. Xavier; my mouth sometimes gets ahead of my brain."

I do need to watch that. No sense in upsetting the kitty! -- ah, Mister Xavier -- more than he already is!

Jubatus' fur omitted the use of the standard EEG electrodes, or even standard recording nets (not without shaving his entire head, a prospect neither doctor even considered proposing), but ArcheTech was no stranger to handling patients with atypical skin textures and compositions. While Rao explained the purpose and basic functioning of the tests, Archeville retrieved an EEG Helmet. This device was lined with a high density array of sensors that could detect the electrical activity of the brain, without requiring shaving of fur or abrading of dead skin cells, and able to work on a range of dermal types exhibiting higher- or lower-than-typical galvanic response. Of course, the helmet was designed for humanoid wearers, so Archeville had to tinker with it to make sure Jube's head would fit into it comfortably, albeit snugly.

Archeville nodded as he looked over the results. "Well, what do you make of that, Dr. Rao?"

"I think I'm a geneticist, not a... you," she replied curtly.

"And a damn fine geneticist you are, doctor."

She is! She really is!

Sensing her patient's growing irritation, she quickly added, "but what I can tell, everything looks okay. No unusual spikes or pits."

"Mostly right," he nodded, "in that there are no indicators of unusually high or low activity, which could be indicative of certain atavistic conditions. However, see the 'bunching' there, and there, and there? I believe those are bursts of super-speed mental activity. If I adjust the scanners," he said as he began manipulating the controls, "we should be able to get a clearer image, and make sure there is nothing hiding in there."

[Cubist]

"I do apologize, Mr. Xavier; my mouth sometimes gets ahead of my brain."

"Thanks," was Jay's heartfelt reply. He recovered from his funk with remarkable speed, and was back to his usual baseline self by the time Doktor Archeville began fitting the EEG helmet to his head.

"...there are no indicators of unusually high or low activity, which could be indicative of certain atavistic conditions."

Jay 's ears pricked up at these words. Ever since the day he tore up those five muggers, he'd always been worried (if not "terrified") about how much of his mind had been overwritten by cheetah instincts; his therapist, Ed Halstonne, argued that any animalistic impulses he might have felt were most likely the result of secondary shaping effects from his new body, more or less a self-inflicted mindgame rather than the instincts he so feared. For his part, Jay still wasn't more than half-convinced, if even that much... but here, finally, was hard evidence!

Unless his cheetah-instincts didn't show up on the brain scan because they simply weren't being triggered by anything at the moment...

"...see the 'bunching' there, and there, and there? I believe those are bursts of super-speed mental activity. If I adjust the scanners," he said as he began manipulating the controls, "we should be able to get a clearer image, and make sure there is nothing hiding in there."

Jay nodded. "Go for it," he said. "And, hrrm, what if I got some, hrrr, 'atavistic' brain circuits that just aren't active... at the moment..?"

The two scientists exchanged looks; Rao wore an expression of surprise, while Archeville's composed face suggested that he'd already thought of that before Jay had. "Perhaps... the next scans could be active, rather than passive?" Rao suggested tentatively. "Apply a calibrated stimulus to a specific region of Mr. Xavier's brain, and observe how his neurons react to that known stimulus?"

The Doktor was amenable to this notion, as (more importantly) was Jay...

[Dr Archeville]

Unfortunately, Jubatus's Danger Sense was not amenable to it.

The test seemed simple enough, at least after the third time the doctors explained it. In most such tests, it used to be that physical probes would be inserted into the brain to poke bits of it, and record how the patient reacted. But that required cutting out part of the patient's skull, which simply would not do for an outpatient procedure! Fortunately, recent advanced with ultra- and sub-sonic pulses (like the ones used on fetal ultrasounds) allowed the doctors to probe parts of Jubatus' brain without all that messy cutting and sawing.

But his feline ears could pick up those ultra- and sub-sonic sounds, sounds the primitive, fight-or-flight part of his brain recognized as dangerous. His timeshift kicked in, he reflexively strained to break free, and his movement made the beam wave through numerous regions of his frontal lobe, not just the tiny part they had been targeting. This surge of activity caused something akin to an overload, and part of his frontal lobe shut down temporarily -- the parts that made a human mind a human mind. In a normal human, this disruption would present itself as a massive regression to an infantile state of mind. In Jubatus...

[Cubist]

...and the cheetah woke up.

It didn't know where it was, and even if it did know, it wouldn't have cared, because there was some kind of very annoying sound that made its ears hurt. It wasn't alone; there were two tallthings in the same room, the bigger of which had a weird scent the cheetah didn't care for at all, but the smaller one smelled okay. The cheetah moved as far away from the very annoying sound as was possible in this room. It was operating at its default tempo of six times faster than normal, and it couldn't help but notice how terribly slow the two tallthings were. The weird-smelling tallthing carried a very annoying soundmaker in its forepaws; the cheetah didn't want to be around the weird-smelling tallthing any longer than it had to.

The cheetah looked around the room, looking for exits. It saw a number of flat panels of various sizes, each one of which had an out-sticking bit. Most of these flat panels were up against walls, but one of the flat panels was sticking out at an angle, with an empty place beyond it. The cheetah wondered if the biggest flat panel would have a biggest empty place beyond it -- maybe even biggest enough to get away from the very annoying sound? It moved around the room, trying to move the flat panels so it could see the empty placed beyond them, but its claws couldn't make the flat panels stick out at any angle. It pretty much ignored the tallthings as it moved around them, because anything that slow didn't matter. The cheetah's claws could make the flat panels go jigglerattle, and it could hear the jigglerattle most strongly in the out-sticking bits.

The cheetah sniffed at the out-sticking bits: There was a lot of tallthing scent on them, much more than was on the rest of the flat panels. The cheetah looked at the weird-smelling tallthing, then at an out-sticking bit, then at its own forepaws. It raised one forepaw up to grab hold of the out-sticking bit on the biggest flat panel. The out-sticking bit wasn't quite solid; it actually moved a little, moved in place! The cheetah experimentally twisted at the out-sticking bit to see what would happen, and then there was a click and the biggest flat panel swung out at an angle. Yes! There was a biggest empty place beyond -- no, wait, it was a biggester empty place!

The cheetah ran out into the biggester empty place as fast as it could. Very quickly, the very annoying sound faded away into nothing. There were lots of other sounds, and lots of other sights, and lots of other scents, and lots more tallthings, but at least there wasn't any very annoying sound, and all the new things were very interesting! Still operating at its default tempo of six, the cheetah moved around and through this curious new (albeit terribly slow) world, poking its nose into anything that caught its attention...

[Dr Archeville]

Dangit, not again!

Archeville's enhanced mind was able to keep up with what was going on, with what Jubatus was doing, but he was utterly unable to react in time to stop him from darting out of the room. "Computer," the Doktor called out in a firm, commanding tone, "identify: Archeville, Viktor."

Acknowledged

"Sound silent alarm. Identify and track subject: Xavier, Jay, Jubatus." He pulled his labcoat back enough to access the controls on his Gravimetric Belt. Dr. Rao, per protocol, returned to her office as the silent alarm went off. Said alarm consisted of messages popping up via the internal IM system, warning of a danger in the building and for all staff to return to and remain in their offices until further notice.

Last time this happened, the standard alarms made things worse by panicking the guy! But I can learn from my errors!

Subject tracked. Fourth floor, corridor North-K, nearing staff lounge.

Jubatus could smell food! Well, food-like things, at least. Mostly plants and some... things he was not sure of, but there was some whiffs of meat, though it smelled slightly burnt.

Archeville himself moved out of the exam room, gliding on waves of contragravity, following the path of chaos in Jubatus' wake. "Halt elevators, close all doors on this level beyond 100 feet of subject, and deploy neurostunners."

Acknowledged

Closing the doors should slow him, but locking them would frustrate him and possibly lead to lashing out. Of course, he could still get out via the elevator shafts or HVAC ducts, through to the emergency evac corridors... but what are the chances of that?

Along the corridor down which Jubatus prowled, sections of the ceiling retracted and parted, allowing turreted beam weaponry to slide down. One fired a bolt at the cheetah, energy on a wavelength that would cause a normal human's neurological system to temporarily shut down; once down, the stunner would switch to a continuous ray to keep the target sedated. But Jubatus was far from an ordinary human: would it take effect?

[Cubist]

The cheetah padded through the biggester empty space, indulging its curiosity at every turn. There were so many interesting scents to explore! Some of them smelled good, and some of them smelled bad, but all of them were new to the cheetah, so that was alright. There were a lot of tallthings, too, and the cheetah occasionally chose one to circle around, getting a close look (and sniff) at it. This was easy, because the tallthings were so very slow. As the cheetah examined more of the tallthings, it begin to suspect that maybe they didn't like being examined... but it couldn't figure out why that might be. If it was hurting the tallthings, that would explain why they didn't like being examined. But the cheetah wasn't hurting them! It wasn't hurting anything!

The tallthings were very strange.

The cheetah was hungry, and grew more hungry, as it padded through the biggester empty space. Every so often it caught scent of food, so it tried to get closer to the food. This was harder than it should be, because the food-scent came and went, and the cheetah couldn't figure out why...

...and then the tallthings began to smell like fear. The cheetah could recognize that scent, because most of the tallthings it examined smelled like fear, but now, even tallthings it hadn't examined were starting to smell like fear. Something bad must be coming! The cheetah decided it had better get to the food before the something bad arrived. If it had food, the cheetah could outrun any bad thing; it was absolutely certain of that.

Before it got close to the food, the cheetah found itself falling asleep... no! It wasn't tired, not even a little bit! The something bad must be making it sleep, because the something bad couldn't possibly catch the cheetah while it was awake, so the something bad had to be making it sleep! The cheetah didn't want to be killed and eaten. It really didn't want to be killed and eaten.

Now the cheetah ran in earnest.

The world got even slower as the cheetah ran through the biggester empty space. It didn't know where it was going, but it knew it had to run. If the cheetah just kept running, surely it would find a way out from inside the walls that completely surrounded the biggester empty space? It didn't know what was outside the walls, but it did know that just as it was inside the walls, the something bad was inside the walls, too. So the cheetah ran; sometimes it had to run up walls and across ceilings to avoid slamming into the slow, slow tallthings, so it did that.

Once or twice, the cheetah changed course because it caught the scent of the weird-smelling tallthing and it didn't want to run into the weird-smelling tallthing again. Maybe the something bad was working with the weird-smelling tallthing? The cheetah didn't know, and it didn't want to find out the hard way.

The last time the cheetah got a whiff of the weird-smelling tallthing, it changed course again -- straight into a dead end! The cheetah really, really didn't want to be killed and eaten. But it couldn't go forward because of the walls in the way! It couldn't go back, either, not with the weird-smelling tallthing behind it! Maybe... maybe if the cheetah ran fast enough, it could break through the walls in the way?

In its adrenaline-fueled sprint, the cheetah had already, without conscious awareness, activated its Timeshift power. Now, faced with what it believed to be certain death, the cheetah pushed its Timeshift harder than it had ever been pushed before -- harder than it ever would have thought to even try, had it been in its right mind. Since the cheetah wasn't in its right mind, it pushed its Timeshift beyond the limits of sanity, not slowing down as its power wrenched at the fabric of the space/time continuum so hard that the cheetah wasn't entirely in this Universe... and it passed through the wall in front of it, passed through all the walls that enclosed the biggester empty space.

So it was that the cheetah entered the biggestest empty space of all! The roof was so high it couldn't tell where the roof was, and there was only one light overhead, a very bright light that hurt the cheetah's eyes when it looked up. And there were lots of interesting scents, more than the cheetah could remember ever having smelled!

The cheetah was very, very hungry now. Fortunately, the uncountable new scents it was smelling included food...

[Quinn]

Morgan exited the supermarket with the bag of supplies in one hand, idly rubbing the back of his head. Going anywhere in this city was annoying as heck sometimes, especially if he was going incognito.

Taking a moment, he pulled up the plastic bag and peered inside, double-checking his purchases. Corn chips, check. Nacho cheese sauce, check. Extra salsa, check. Extra hot peppers, check. Extra-spicy suicide-grade hot sauce, check (he still thought Brian was crazy for ordering that stuff, but then his roomie had to go and insinuate he couldn't take DA HEET, and that pretty much did it). Several cans of iced tea, double-plus check (he may be able to take DA HEET, but that didn't mean you couldn't be prepared for the worst.

He smiled as he noted the last item in the bag, a small bottle of chicken-flavored kitty treats. Ever since he first met Oliver on his first day at Claremont, he'd had a bit of a soft spot for that feline, ducking down to give him a quick scratch on top of the head when he spotted the little guy in the halls, or keeping a small stash of kitty treats in case he'd ever arrived. And he had a sneaking suspicion he wasn't the only one who was hiding those for that furball...

[Cubist]

The cheetah roamed through Freedom City. It was only a little hungry, having found some smallthings that it could grab out of the air and eat. The smallthings had lots of dry crunchy stuff growing out of their skin, and the dry crunchy stuff tasted awful. Fortunately, the cheetah found it could easily pluck the dry crunchy stuff out of the smallthings. The cheetah thought the smallthings tasted pretty good; it just wished they had more meat on them.

The cheetah loped through the streets of Freedom City, following its nose, because there was always a new and interesting smell around every corner. And then there was a very new and interesting smell right in front of it! The new and interesting smell came from a tallthing. This tallthing was as slow as every other tallthing it had run across, so it wasn't -- couldn't be -- dangerous. It had dark stuff on top of its head, and the new and interesting smell came from a thing it held in its forepaws. In fact, there were a number of new and interesting smells coming from what the tallthing held in its forepaws, but there was one smell in particular, a smell that reminded the cheetah of the smallthings it had eaten just recently, a smell that made the cheetah drool a little.

The cheetah raised itself up on its hind legs and stuck its head in the thing which the new and interesting smells came from. There were a bunch of shapes inside that thing, and since they were all so close together, the cheetah couldn't tell which smell came from which shape. The cheetah stuck its forepaws down inside the thing, and pulled all the shapes out so it could examine them better. It sniffed at each of the shapes. Each shape had a new and interesting smell, but most of them didn't smell like food. The cheetah let go of the shapes that didn't smell like food, letting them drift slowly to the ground as it moved on to the next shape. The last shape it pulled from what the tallthing held in its forepaws, nowthat smelled like food. Even better, that shape smelled kind of like the yummy smallthings!

The cheetah sat on its haunches and looked at the food-smelling shape it held in its forepaws. This shape was round, like some of the out-sticking bits on the movable wall panels in the empty space it had woken up in. This shape was also not food; when the cheetah licked it, the shape tasted sort of like sand and metal. Yuck! The cheetah realized that the food-smelling shape was made of two different kinds of stuff; one kind of stuff tasted sort of like sand, and the other kind of stuff tasted like metal. So the food-smell had to be coming from inside the shape, just as the shape had come from inside the thing which the dark-topped tallthing held in its forepaws.

Okay, that meant the cheetah just had to figure out how to get at the inside of the food-smelling shape. It thought about the out-sticking bits it remembered, and how those bits had moved... The cheetah grabbed the sand-tasting part of the shape in one forepaw, and grabbed the metal-tasting part in its other forepaw. Then it twisted at the two parts of the food-smelling shape -- yes! The metal-tasting part of the shape came loose! And the food-smell was a lot stronger, so the cheetah was right about the food-smell coming from inside this shape!

Tiny food-smelling bits were drifting away from the shape. The cheetah grabbed one out of the air, and found that it tasted very good! The cheetah ate all the tiny bits that drifted in the air, and then it ate all the tiny bits that were still inside the shape.

When it had eaten all the food-smelling tiny bits, the cheetah was still hungry. A little. It looked at the dark-topped tallthing; maybe this tallthing would get other food?