Abyss Character in Progress

[Abyss]

Hello everyone new person here if you didn't spot me in the chat already. I'm new to the system as well and I'm posting a first draft of a character to get a bit of feedback if possible. Only if it's not a bother though it's probably a lot of work to scan through it. Primarily I'm interested in feedback on fluff (Does the character fit with the setting well enough? If not how bad is it? Should there be more fluff?) Mechanics (Is the character build viable without being excessive?) and my use of the sites character template (Where have I screwed up trying to emulate the format?) but if you spot something that falls outside of those categories by all means let me know. Thanks for your time!

Player Name: Abyss

Character Name: Abyss

Power Level: 10 (150/150PP)

Trade-Offs: None

Unspent PP: 0

Progress To Bronze Status: 0/30

In Brief: New to consciousness and this world Abyss is an outsider wearing a skin that isn't his. His origins might seem frightening to some but he's more afraid of you than you are of him.

Alternate Identities: Ethan Galloway

Identity: Secret

Birthplace: A far away planet orbiting a black hole

Occupation: Homeless

Affiliations: None

Family: Abyss has none. Ethan Galloway on the other hand may have.

Age: 4 months

Apparent Age: 20

Gender: Male

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Height: 5'9''

Weight: 157 lbs.

Eyes: Gray

Hair: Black

Description: Abyss is pale and a bit slender with a slightly narrow face and nervous darting eyes. His black hair is most often a disheveled mess and there are permanent bags under his eyes giving him a harried at the end of the line sort of look. The most notable things about Abyss are the ways in which he seems slightly off. The way his breathing is just a bit slow and a bit too shallow, unnaturally pale and cool skin, how he doesn't seem to understand where to put his eyes in a conversation. In costume He wears a full-length one piece outfit, mostly black with silver on the eyes and hands with a silver outline of circle on the chest with additional tendrils of silver seemingly being sucked into the black at the center creating an image of of a circle consuming the rays of light.

Power Descriptions: Abyss is a strange being made of something akin to the dark absence of light itself and nearly all his powers draw directly on this nature. He can create and become one with darkness around him turning into an inky black shadow and even become so insubstantial as to practically become non-existent. He can strike both close up and at a distance ensnaring or actively striking his foes with either concentrated blasts of energy or a sort of whip conjured of shadow. When all else fails he can always step into the shadows and flee to a safe haven. Abyss also can see perfectly in no-light conditions due to his nature and as he is technically not alive but rather in a sort of stasis he needs none of the ordinary things a human would need to function. He also is preternaturally tough and quite intelligent which is mostly par for the course for a tiny piece of an abomination from the distant stars.

History: Abyss originally comes from a planet far away, one in stable orbit with a black hole. There is no true life here but somehow a facsimile has found a way. The planet is home to a vast overarching primitive consciousness that actively feeds on the void around it growing stronger and luring in the occasional traveler with a strange siren call So that a spore may latch onto the unwitting living and hijack it's body as it stabilizes and technically kills the body. Once the host body is controlled it merges with the overarching consciousness once more only to be given a sense of selfhood and separation again in dire circumstances.

This would have been Abyss' fate but long ago a meteor collision resulted in some spores being thrown into deep space where they traveled for eons before encountering various other planets. Abyss found his way in a small chunk of rock to Earth and to Freedom City. Sensing a viable candidate nearby for the first time in countless eons the spore reacted as it was meant to and found the recently deceased body of a homeless man that it immediately merged with.

The first days were terrifying for Abyss. He had merged with a host and gained consciousness for the first time and found himself isolated from his peers with no way to rejoin with the sweet oblivion that he had only known. But as the days stretched on he began to grow accustomed to this new strange existence and given a chance to grow separate from the whole the information buried in the bodies brain bubbled forth. Science, language, history it all assaulted him over the following few weeks until within a month Abyss had truly become a separate entity from the whole and he no longer wanted to go back.

It was at this time that Abyss began to feel lost. He wanted to remain in this world now that he had grown accustomed to it. But he knew enough to know that humans would be scared of him, knew that they already were when they met him even if he didn't always understand why. He wanted to find a way to fit in. With these thoughts on his mind he witnessed his first super-powered conflict and felt awakened. He felt a kinship with these people who were as different as him and he had a plan. He would be good like them and everyone would see that he could be nice just like all the other strange people.

It's been a few months since Abyss made the conscious decision to try to be a hero and he's been taking things slow. He wants to meet others that he sees as like him (other supers) but he's afraid that they'll fear him the same way normal people already do. As a result he's stayed inside the Fens mostly stopping small time crime whenever he happens across it and fleeing before any can speak to him. He's just been too frightened to make the first move.

Personality & Motivation: Abyss is extremely shy and seems quite odd. While the brain in the body he inhabits gave him the basic information like what words to use it couldn't teach him how to fit in. He doesn't understand how to behave entirely normally and when coupled with the fact that he appears to be someone that most people would prefer to avoid thinking about in the first place and he feels consistently rejected. He's lonely, scared and mostly just wants to find a way to fit in and make this place his home.

His motivation is really quite simple then, to be accepted. He wants to do good things for people so gradually they'll realize that his strangeness doesn't make him bad, the same way that all the other supers achieved public adoration he believes. He sees them as a model to attempt to emulate and he tries his best even if he hasn't done anything truly remarkable as of yet. His understanding of morality is fairly simple and black and white currently as a complex moral code complete with shades of gray is not something that he has had enough time to truly create or to understand. To him good is helping others and making them happy while bad is little more than hurting them and making them sad.

Powers & Tactics: Abyss relies mostly on the gifts that come to him naturally preferring to blast his foes with concentrated physical darkness from the shadows rather than rely on brute strength. If necessary he can fight up close and personal and he's nearly as effective at it. He's cautious and more than willing to teleport away from the scene if things begin to go awry. If he's worried he'll be spotted he tends to become an inky black shadow and merge with the surrounding darkness making it easier to hide. Being cautious and prone to hiding does not mean he's half-hearted about this dedication to being a hero though and in battle he gives it his all to ensure that he beats the bad guys and does good in his own small way.

---

Complications:

Disability: Abyss doesn't know how to communicate effectively and his understanding of relationships is quite limited. He's prone to driving people away as a result.

Secret: Abyss is terrified that others will find out what he truly is and try to dispose of him. He would do nearly anything to keep his secret from getting out.

Impoverished: The only thing Abyss owns is a worn backpack containing his costume and a change of clothes. Anything else is a temporary luxury.

Abilities: 0 + 4 + 2 + 8 + 6 + 0 = 20PP

Strength: 10 (+0)

Dexterity: 14/18 (+2/+4)

Constitution: 12/22 (+1/+6)

Intelligence: 18 (+4)

Wisdom: 16 (+3)

Charisma: 10 (+0)

Combat: 8 + 8 = 16PP

Initiative: +8

Attack: +4/+10 Blast/+10 Strike

Grapple: +4

Defense: +10 (+4 Base, +6 Dodge Focus), +2 Flat-Footed

Knockback: -3/-5

Saving Throws: 2 + 4 + 4 = 10PP

Toughness: +10 (+6 Con, +4 Protection)

Fortitude: +8 (+6 Con, +2)

Reflex: +8 (+4 Dex, +4)

Will: +7 (+3 Wis, +4)

Skills: 24R = 6PP

Concentration 8 (+11)

Notice 8 (+11)

Stealth 8 (+12)

Feats: 14PP

Attack Specialization (Blast) 3

Attack Specialization (Strike) 3

Dodge Focus 6

Improved Initiative

Precise Shot

Powers: 4 + 24 + 10 + 4 + 16 + 20 + 4 + 2 = 84PP

Concealment 4 (Darkness; Visual Flaws: Limited to Shadows -1) - Shadow Form [4PP]

Darkness Array 10 (20PP Feats: Alternate Power 4) [24PP]

Base Power: Environmental Control 10 (Darkness) [20PP]

Alternate Power: Blast 10 (Darkness) - Dark Blast [20PP]

Alternate Power: Dazzle 10 (Darkness; Visual) [20PP]

Alternate Power: Strike 10 (Darkness; Extras: Penetrating +10) - Shadow Whip [20PP]

Alternate Power: Teleport 10 (Darkness; Extras: Accurate Flaws: Medium - Shadows -1 ) - Shadow Walk [20PP]

Enhanced Constitution 10 [10PP]

Enhanced Dexterity 4 [4PP]

Immunity 16 (Aging, Critical Hits, Darkness Damage, Life Support, Starvation and Thirst, Sleep) [16PP]

Insubstantial 4(Darkness) [20PP]

Protection 4 [4PP]

Super-Senses 2 (Darkvision) [2PP]

Drawbacks: (-0) + (-0) = -0PP

DC Block:

ATTACK      RANGE     SAVE                        EFFECT

Unarmed     Touch     DC15 Toughness (Staged)     Damage (Physical)

Blast       Ranged    DC25 Toughness (Staged)     Damage (Physical)

Strike      Touch     DC25 Toughness (Staged)     Damage (Physical)

Abilities (20) + Combat (16) + Saving Throws (10) + Skills (6) + Feats (14) + Powers (84) - Drawbacks (0) = 150/150 Power Points

[Raveled]

Not gonna do a mechanical break-down because I don't really have time. Some quick things off the top of my head: your powers have the Descriptors and the Descriptions swapped. Your Concealment might be described as "an inky shadow that blends seamlessly with the dark," but the Descriptor is just Darkness. Darkness Control isn't a power in and of itself, it's just a name for the Array as a whole. Need to say what senses Dazzle affects, too.

[Abyss]

Thanks for the help, think I fixed all that correctly (used Glowstar as a reference and tried to emulate that) and again thanks I appreciate it.

[Raveled]

Okay, time for something more in-depth!

Complications:

Disability: Abyss doesn't know how to communicate effectively and his understanding of relationships is quite limited. He's prone to driving people away as a result.

Secret: Abyss is terrified that others will find out what he truly is and try to dispose of him. He would do nearly anything to keep his secret from getting out.

Impoverished: The only thing Abyss owns is a worn backpack containing his costume and a change of clothes. Anything else is a temporary luxury.

All fine. Be wary playing the hobo-hero, though. Last few haven't done that well.

Abilities: 4 + 12 + 14 + 10 + 12 + 0 = 52PP

Strength: 14 (+2)

Dexterity: 22 (+6)

Constitution: 24 (+7)

Intelligence: 20 (+5)

Wisdom: 22 (+6)

Charisma: 10 (+0)

That's an amazing amount of Intelligence and Wisdom for someone who's supposed to be a fish out of water. Mechanically, it all adds up, but unless the 'host' was that tough, agile, et cetera, you might want some of these as Enhanced Abilities.

Combat: 5 + 5 = 10PP

Initiative: +8

Attack: +5

Grapple: +7

Defense: +7 (+7 Base, +0 Dodge Focus), +5 Flat-Footed

Knockback: -3

Various problems here. Base Attack and Defense cost 2PP/rank, so the cost should be 10 + 14 = 24. Ini is based off Dex (and Improved Ini adds +4) it would be +10. Flat-footed Defense is half of Base defense rounded down, so here it would be +3. Knockback and Grapple are... Figured correctly, actually. Big problem here, though, is that the character does not hit combat caps. It's not strictly necessary, but at least half your threads here are going to be combat threads so it's a very good idea.

Saving Throws: 0 + 0 + 0 = 0PP

Toughness: +7 (+7 Con, +0 [Other])

Fortitude: +7 (+7 Con, +0)

Reflex: +6 (+6 Dex, +0)

Will: +6 (+6 Wis, +0)

Nothing strictly wrong here, just noting that saves are a touch low. Good rule of thumb is that you want your exotic saves (Ref, Fort, Will) to average out to PL-2. Here they average out to 6.3, so it might be a good idea to boost them a bit.

Skills: 48R = 12PP

Concentration 12 (+18)

Notice 12 (+18)

Search 12 (+17)

Stealth 12 (+16)

Skills... Well, the costs add up, but most of the modifiers are off. Double-check what ability each score depends on.

Feats: 8PP

Improved Initiative

Power Attack

Precise Shot

Sneak Attack 4

Ultimate Effort

Well first off, you need to state what skill you can use Ultimate Effort with. Second, Sneak Attack adds +2 Damage per rank to your attacks, but only if the opponent is flat-footed. As it stands, the only way for this character to make an opponent flat-footed is by ambushing them. So, if the target doesn't go down in the first hit (or there's more than one of them) the character is kinda screwed. Sneak Attack 1 or 2 is okay, anything more than that is overkill.

Powers: 4 + 26 + 16 + 20 + 2 = 68PP

Concealment 4( (Darkness; Flaws: Limited to Shadows -1) - Shadow Form [4PP]

Darkness Array 10 ( (20PP Feats: Alternate Power 6) [26PP]

• Base Power: Environmental Control( (Darkness) [20PP]
  
  Alternate Power: Blast( (Darkness) - Dark Blast [20PP]

Alternate Power: Dazzle( (Darkness; Visual) [20PP]

Alternate Power: ESP( (Darkness; Auditory and Visual) (Flaws: Limited to Darkness or Shadows -1) - Shadow Sense [20PP]

Alternate Power: Snare( (Darkness) - Shadow Tendrils [20PP]

Alternate Power: Strike( (Darkness; Extras: Penetrating +10) - Shadow Whip [20PP]

Alternate Power: Teleport((Darkness; Extras: Accurate Flaws: Medium - Shadows -1 ) - Shadow Walk [20PP]

Immunity 16 (Aging, Critical Hits, Darkness, Life Support, Starvation and Thirst, Sleep) [16PP]

Insubstantial 4((Darkness) [20PP]

Super-Senses 2 (Darkvision) [2PP

Well, you have the template correct. Some of your coding isn't exactly right, though. Need to list what senses Concealment works for, same as Dazzle. I'd question whether 6 APs is really necessary; how often do you think ESP or Snare is really going to be used? When you say Immunity (Darkness), do you mean just damage effects with the Darkness descriptor, or all powers with the Darkness descriptor? Because one is a lot more expensive than the other.

Quick question: Why no Drawbacks? This character seems like a shoe-in for a Weakness to the Light Descriptor.

Overall, not bad. Quick tips: I'd split off some of the (incredibly high) abilities into natural and Enhanced Abilities. I'd also lower base Defense by a point or two and pick up enough ranks of Dodge Focus to hit caps. For Toughness, look into Protection, Force Field, Defense Roll, or just up Constitution high enough. Skills, you might want to lower them by a few ranks and just buy Skill Mastery in them (seeing as how you only have four skills in any case). Powers, well, see my

[Abyss]

Alright I managed to fix everything you were talking about I believe. As for not having a drawback... I'm not sure. Is it really worth it to have to duck into a basement out of the light every 20 minutes for a few more power-points? I certainly agree with you that it would be thematically appropriate but I'm just not sure if getting a one time bonus in exchange for a permanent weakness is worth it. But actually having a firm grasp on the system, you would recommend it? Thanks again for all the help.

[Raveled]

You need to list the ranks of your various effects. Looking at the build, with Sneak Attack 1 the character breaks damage caps when they catch an opponent flat-footed, which is against the rules. In your saves line, you need to list where all the bonuses to Toughness come from.

[felicitousFolly]

Maybe it's not something as severe as a weakness, but have you considered taking a Complication regarding light?

It could be something as simple as Abyss just plain doesn't like light and avoids it whenever possible, or it could be as peculiar as power loss outdoors at high noon.

Just something you might think about.

[Raveled]

Or maybe just a Weakness to the Light descriptor. There's a world of difference between someone shooting you with a laser or magically conjured ray of light, and natural sunlight.

[Ecalsneerg]

I think Rav means Vulnerability, not Weakness.

[Raveled]

I think Rav means Vulnerability, not Weakness.

One of those two. The one that increases save DCs.

[quotemyname]

Hey man, welcome and such.

I've been meaning to get to this for a WHILE now, but I've been pretty swamped sorry. I'll just assume you made all the above mechanical edits, etc. I'm just going to look at what's on your sheet currently.

Quick note on the above post before I get started:

One of those two. The one that increases save DCs.

That's Vulnerbility. A suggestion I would readily make. Many of my first characters had vulnerabilities, and they fit great with 'elemental' types. Even superman is vulnerable to "magic".

---

The Fluff:

Fish out of water hero. Lost in an unfamiliar world. Driven to be a hero out of inspiration by other heroes. I'll admit, I was sketched out by the background until I read that last part. That's where it got good. That's the bit that's going to make it fit our setting. As the most important part of characters here seems to be "yes, but what makes them a HERO? In their own mind, or the minds of others?" I think you've got that down. Abyss is trying. He really is.

That said, this opens up an idea for another complication (I love complications, one of my favorite parts about this game):

The Road To Hell: Just as the saying goes, Abyss has good intentions. He is doing his best to be a good 'person' and is led by example. However, he doesn't quite understand the finer points of morality and motivation. Sometimes abyss may 'take the wrong side' in an argument or conflict simply because he doesn't know any better. However, he is more than willing to be set on the right path. Once he knows he was doing something wrong he only tries that much harder to make it right.

This adds to the 'grey area' feel of the character. I am making this suggestion because it fits the character, not the setting. As I write it, it starts to feel less and less fitting to the setting which WAS one of your concerns. I think you can make it work if it is used carefully. That said, it may not be the best thing to write on the sheet of your very first character here.

As for the bum aspect,

Wash Yo Stanky A...byss - Perhaps the reason people shy away from Abyss is more because of his "aroma" and less because of his disposition.

I used this for a Bum character once (at a suggestion from Geez3r, actually). It had some pretty hilarious implications.

All fine. Be wary playing the hobo-hero, though. Last few haven't done that well.

What he said.

---

The Crunch:

Taking this one step at a time, I'll review all I've got time for.

Crash course in advanced M&M character building: There's a difference between a functional character and a fantastic character. One works, one breaks things (like the system). There's a difference between 'can' buy an ability and 'should' buy an ability. Just because you can pay the cost of an ability doesn't mean you need it.

That said, I learned my crunch from Shaen, and I'd like to think I was instrumental in developing Geez3r's bad power gaming habits Therefore, please take the following advice with a grain of salt. There is no reason you MUST do what I am about to suggest, and I certainly will not be insulted if you don't. The following is more about trimming the fat than the difference between whether or not an ability is legal (If I stray down that path, I'll point it out).

Off the top, I have notice a few places that you can more efficiently buy some of your abilities and free up points.

stats:

General: I think Rav has pointed this out. You're essentially playing a 'Template Character' that is, a normal (dead) dude with super powers slapped on after the fact. In my mind, the base stats of a Bum (who has up til this point had a hard, failing life) should be a lot lower. If he'd had an 18 INT in life, he probably could have figured out a way to get himself out of poverty, etc. Personally I'd buy most of his stats as 10's and 12's. Maybe a 14 Con at the most to represent his survivability, but nothing outrageous. The rest of the stats I'd buy as straight up Enhanced Ability X It costs the same, you can do more advanced maneuvers (see: power stunt) with Enhanced Abilities rather than regular ones, and it fits the feel of the character a little better in my opinion.

Constitution: Is probably literally the best stat. Every TWO points you spend gets you a +1 modifier which earns you THREE points in benefits (+1 Toughness Save, +1 Fortitude Save, +1 to Healing Checks). You're currently spending 4 points on protection, and 2 points on fortitude saves. You could take 2pp from each, pump it into +4 Con, and gain the same benefits with the addition of an increased Healing Check modifier (Again just because you can....).

Combat:

General: It's cheapest to buy your Base Attack and Base Defense as low as possible and support it with as much Attack Focus (Melee/Ranged) and Dodge Focus as possible. House rules (and good form) state that you require at least 1/3 of your characters total bonus to attack and defense to come from their Base Attack/Defense. You've already done this. Let's move on.

Attack: The MOST efficient characters tend to concentrate on either melee or ranged. The melee ones can GET to the fight and punish while they're there. The ranged ones can get AWAY from the fight and punish while they're NOT there. This saves having to spend points on the alternative mode of attack. As is you're spreading out, and spreading thin.

Defense: It is literally 100% better to buy Base Defense in even numbered amounts than odd numbered amounts. Odd numbers cost too much and confer too little benefit to be worth anything (See Shaen's Pimp my PC thread for the number crunching as to why). Your Defense is +4. You've already done this, let's move on.

Saves:

Exotic saves aren't always important. Most attacks against you will hit your Toughness. That said, low save characters can get punished pretty damn hard when they get hit with exotic attacks. Someone recommended an average of PL-2 for your exotic save totals. This isn't a bad idea. Shoot for it, but if you need the points, saves are something I find myself cutting pretty early on all the time. My recommendation, do one or two of them pretty well, dump the other. Ever seen the Hulk's Reflex save? What's that? Can't find it? Wonder why? 'Cuz it's not there! Even Superman dumps his Reflex (from many builds I've seen). I can see Abyss rocking a high Fort/Ref and dumping Will. Why is he easy to dupe? because he doesn't know any better.

Skills:

Concentration: for the most part in this game is used to maintain powers you have to 'think about keeping up' whenever your character gets his clock cleaned. Most commonly Force Field/Flight/etc. None of which you have. The argument could be made for Concealment, but I see these points being better spent on...

Sense Motive: it's the catch all social interaction defense. Not only can you sniff out lies (as per D&D) with this, but you can also counter things like feints in combat, which if you have a high Dodge Focus (would you look at that) can be incredibly useful. I buy at least a +10 bonus here on every character I write. That said, if Abyss is easy to dupe, or pull a fast one on, forget I ever mentioned this skill.

Acrobatics: A 'shadow dancer' seems like a great candidate for this skill. You can stand from prone, you can reduce falling damage, etc. See Feats below for even more uses.

Feats:

Attack Spec: See above combat section. See Powers below on how you can more efficiently buy this.

Skill Mastery: A hidden gem. Look it up. You'll need to throw a few more points in skills first to make it worthwhile, though.

Sneak Attack: You're a shadow dancer. I'm surprised you decided to cut this feat. It's thematically and mechanically appropriate. 1 - 3 ranks of this is a great way to increase the damage output of ALL your attacks, but only IF you have a way of making your opponents flat footed... like...

Acrobatic Bluff: Buy it. Standard Action: Acrobatics check opposed by their [Acrobatics/Sense Motive/Will Save] whichever is best. Failure means they're flat footed to your next attack. Can be performed as a Move Action if you take a -5 penalty to your roll. A great way to activate Sneak Attack.

Precise Shot: Useful only if you concentrate predominantly on ranged combat.

Powers:

Darkness Array 10 Arrays are awesome. Don't make them too big or you risk game breaking power levels.

Blast/Strike - Drop one.

Dazzle - You blindfold people? Cool!

Teleport - Movement powers are great to fold into an array. Consider buying Teleport 1 outside the array, so you can pull off a 100 ft move action in combat without having to swich your array around (you can only do it once per round) so you'll still be able to make an attack that round. Though if it's flawed to shadows this idea is less useful. Just another reason to use ranged over melee since you won't be that mobile in a fight. Or perhaps buy a half powered one and make it workable in lighter areas as well.

- Shadow Stepping: Can I use my own shadow? This has come up on the boards before. Make the decision before you craft the character and stick by it. It'll be easier that way. Who knows, if Abyss is the absence of all light, maybe he doesn't even cast a shadow or something weird (possible complication!). It's up to you. Just make sure your consistent.

Attack Specialization: If you make blast or strike your base power and buy your three ranks of this feat as a power feat on that power, it will give you three additional points to throw into the rest of the powers in the array (see what I mean about making arrays too big? Don't look at my character Colt. Just don't do it. I don't want you to see how big of a hypocrite I am )

Drawbacks: See top.

Good luck. Have fun. Ask your questions if you need.