Setzer Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 "Man, that´s totally NOT going to work..." Player Name: Setzer Character Name: Vanguard Power Level: 10 (154/154PP) Trade-Offs: +3 Attack / -3 Damage, -2 Defense / +2 Toughness Unspent PP: 0 Progress To Bronze Status: 4/30 In Brief: Former reluctant neighbour patroller turned hero Alternate Identity: Manuel Rodriguez Identity: Secret Birthplace: Leon, Spain Occupation: Handyman Affiliations: West End Neighborhood Patrol Family: Katherine (Spouse, Deceased), Jeremy (Brother-In-Law, 17), Katie (Daughter, 4) Age: 32 Apparent Age: 27-28 Gender: Male Ethnicity: Caucasian Height: 5'9" (1.74m) Weight: 185 lbs. (84 kg) Eyes: Grey blue Hair: Brown, Short Description: Bulging physique, athletic all-around likable man with a certain air of "Average Joe" even when is the man that takes the armor and the shield and jumps to kicks butts for a good measure of peace for the people. The clothes he wears are the simplest he can take: jeans, short pants, and t-shirts are the general tonic. Nothing on fancy clothes except for big days like a wedding or similar. A jacket is always an acceptable clothing. Power Descriptions: Er, I punch? Fast? Hard? I run? I use that shield they had? History: Manuel is not exactly a newcomer in all the punch-&-kick stuff, but he was not the steel what superheroes are made from. No secret training from the youth, not extraordinary planet alineation that´d let him control the very essence of the universe, not even a goofy talking dog! No, life was pretty bland (but filling) for the good old Manuel. Not even an opressive inmigrant story in his life... with 32 years at his back, 25 of them in the New World, nowadays Manuel is pretty much American from head to toe, but not always was him this. Early days His family moved from country because of particular problems that involved several economical-related questions, family feuds and political affairs. In his seventh birthday he was happy seeing family members he has never seen except one or two times, new cousins and the like, but also he was a "castellanoparlante" in a world where English was the main language, a problem that´ll travel with him all his life. Living his second infance, teen years and adult career in Little Havana (Miami) had a respectable amount of importance in this: he is really fluent in Spanish and "Spanglish" and for some strange reason faux French Cajun, but the true American speech is something that sometimes, only sometimes, squeeze from his clutches. The life of a growing man Time passed, and the kid became a young man and finally a full man, a man tempered for the life, a man strong, tough and skilled: unfortunately, high demand profile by local mafias. Dad would never have tolerated something like it, he thought, and so his resolution was stablished. Were his family´s low-class life owing this rejecting? Who knows. Manuel, and his father before him, both were men with a strong spine for the decisions one must make. Menaces and "friendly suggestions" were made, but people tend to have a generous amount of respect for a man that not only was the first striker in the highschool football team, but also one of the strongest arms in the exhibition ring... In fact, during several years he made a life of boxing, acting in professional circuits like "Potro Velarde", but that was simply no life for a man: abusive life rhythm, awful paying and too much (ahem) gentleman intervention, if you know what I mean. No, he wasn´t going to make a living of beating the crap outta people he didn´t even know. And was the year that his mother died of heart complications, with 25, that he knew the person that was going to became the girl of his dreams: Katherine Turner. Let´s talk about it! Boy meets girl: best moment in my life And like all good stories, he married her. Two years living in Freedom City and then, bang! Happiest day of his life, you can bet! She was all white and radiant and I was a little bit like a big bull, nervous as hell, but then we kissed and all was done, we were one, husband & wife. I took jobs depending of the moment, because I was the kind of man that can make a little bit of everything, useful when the fix is broken or your central warmer go poof or when your house needs a few extra patches or when the know-how is not enough and you need a little hand or... well, you got the idea; and yes, that means there wasn´t classic IKEA arguments in our home. Not much later we were blessed with a child, the little Katie. "HI!" (Katie Turner, 4 years old) Life was simple, happy. The way american life is supposed to be, the way all life should be if one knows what´s good for him; yeah, a little more money and a little less work are pretty cool too, but you know what I mean. Death & Mourning Then, suddenly, she died. Tragic, meaningless accident. Drunken driver with a long historial of drunken driving. And, god, wasn´t even insta-death. She was in the hospital for a while. And for while I mean days. She suffered. And she talked with him, telling what she wanted, that she wanted him to staying like she remembered and loved. For her, and for the child, he did what she wanted, and let the driver alone in the police´s hands, not nearly dead and with the gearshift in an extremely incorrect anatomic location. She expired in the same hospital room, and let them alone, the grave covering his tomb put by himself, shovel in hand, after the mass. There were grief, must live must continue, for her and for her daughter, we´re not alone, people depend on us. But no more violence, ever. For the family. For her. He was no man of war, and he never was. Even if one day he made a living with fisticuffs, that was a day in the past, not even him really. That´s what he said, and if only the world let anyone stick on what they want... but you know. God likes anything better that making people break their promises. The time of the peril came. Freedom was the hometown of Kat before and Katie now, and for the everlasting love of Christ that made it him, but Freedom is both hero´s and villain land, and the last are always ready to spit their filth. The people on the hood started to set ready patrols custoding the streets from things you don´t want to know, but no one was able to convince him to act, because that isn´t what Kat would have wanted. Safe idea, intelligent idea. Those are the kind of things you should let in the police hands. They are more than suited for it. Perhaps they were a little overloaded with the day-by-day in the city, but... A few months ago... Well, that was the idea. At least until the brother of hers appeared in his home, having received the beating of the siecle. There weren´t any traces of friendship between the two, but seeing the child brother of your wife crÃng on your knees while you carry him to the hospital, with a stupid crimefighter costume... "The syringe", he said in tears, "the syringe did nothing". After that, the path was clear. He looked into the mirror and forced himself to think on it. Would be that what Kat had wanted? As he adjusted the belt on the armor, the answer was clear, an echo from the past. No more violence, ever. For the family. For her. He was right, the syringe didn´t do a thing, those were the kind of shortcuts dealers were trying to exploit. Rare juice that give you super-powers? Nah, nothing like that unless you´re willing to training HARD. And since then he´s been training. First was the urban combat, then the combat in general and at last anything that happens to be useful... you need EVERYTHING when you are part of a neighborhood patrol in a world where guys with lazor beams are way less strange that you´d hope. They are heros. We are people. They fight for the entire city, the country or even the world. "Us? Not so ambitious. We´re fighting for our family, our friends, our people. There comes a time in every life where you have to take what you have on hand and run any risk to do what you know you should do" With the time and effort he becomes a leader in this patrol, the most skilled and able of them. And that´s a good thing with sorcerers, undead, strange superpowered thugs and plenty other menaces! The patrol reached a settlement with the department STAR, always in need of volunteers to stop supercrime, something that put a little more mediums at dispose and erase forever the peril of vigilanteism. It´s okay, nobody is a vigilante here. They were, and are, good people. In a future they may take the special research & response courses that STAR offers to organised volunteers, but today they are at most people with little preparation, raised with pure experience. Last but not least, let me tell you something: you have to put your hand on stop crime, but STOP crime forever simply is not in your hands. That shield is a symbol, the symbol of an ex-criminal tool that can be recycled for good and symbol of the protection that we all take on heart. Maybe we´re not trained like proffesionals or have awesome powers born of mysterious realms, but we have the will and the guts. An I´m not one of those that hide, now. I´m physically like in the best moment of my life, and with a more cold-headed head. I had a wife, yes. But I GOT a daughter, I got firends, I got a place called "home". And in real America, people cares about the people. That´s the way all works. That´s our way. Personality & Motivation: "Being a patriot is not big deal, man. Homeland is where you have a home that you can call yours, where your friends and family are" Definitely a ground on the earth guy atleast not much time ago, Manuel always was tha classic fix-it in the hood that you could require help for a crumbling bed, a noisy cleaner or a little disgrunt between partners. The kinda person that enjoys the simple things on the life, the one that was made to born and prosper in a low-medium class in a friendly (albeit a little boisterous) neighbourhood. His motivation is, like always, something that you can wrote in a license plate: help the neighbours and friends. He´s a little grumpy, looking at things at the bad side (or perhaps the realistic side), but that means he´s always prepared for the worst, and he takes it with philosophy. Just try to menace those that can´t defend for themselves (old people and childrens at his worst) and you´ll be at the bad side of a beating. Powers & Tactics: Vanguard prefers the careful approach to the problems. In most encounters a calm voice and comprensive attitude had made much more than weapons and menaces. On the other side, when the combat is inevitable and we´re talkin´big guns, he proceds to take a defensive stance (not the maneuver) and study the enemy to learn how to act. When someone is in peril he recurs to the full shield protection action, action that´ll take too if confronted with multiple ranged enemies. Against many enemies he´ll unleash an storm of shield bashes and tosses, punching, and kicking and tackling for clean the area. Complications: By The Book: You´re a fair honest, law-abiding citizen. Even when you´d desire not to be one. Go figure. Day By Day: Well, you´re a handyman. Work is not lacking, but you´re technically making your living from not exactly a job. If you are unlucky, well... I mean, life is already full of complications. Er...Sorry?: Not only he lives in a community of inmigrants, but his primary language is Spanish (and the second, Spanglish). There are occasions when he simply don't catch the word. Family: The lil´Katie and that goofy good-for-nothing of his brother-in-law. They are family. Don´t touch. The guy that turns in a "hero" for defends them is the kind that can start the hell of a problem if you dare to touch´em. Neighborhood: One of the patrol. They know who you are, and you have responsabilities with them and the service. Should I repeat that they know who he is? Secret: Identity. Not perhaps for the patrol of the West End, but being a costumed heroic guy means you got family - threat victims. He uses balaclavas, handkerchiefs and certain made-ups. Abilities: 12 + 12 + 12 + 0 + 12 + 8 = 56PP Strength: 22 (+6) Dexterity: 24/22 (+7/+6) Constitution: 24/22 (+7/+6) Intelligence: 10 (+0) Wisdom: 22 (+6) Charisma: 18 (+4) Combat: 14 + 8 = 22PP Initiative: +7/+6 Attack: +7 Ranged, +13 Melee, +13 Shield Grapple: +20/+19 Defense: +8 (+4 Base, +4 Shield), +2 Flat-Footed Knockback: -6, -5 Flat-Footed Saving Throws: 1 + 4 + 4 = 9PP Toughness: +12, +10 Flat-Footed (+7 Con, +3 Armor, +2 Defensive Roll) Fortitude: +8/+7 (+7/+6 Con, +1) Reflex: +11/+10 (+7/+6 Dex, +4) Will: +10 (+6 Wis, +4) Skills: 56R = 14PP Acrobatics 12 (+19) Climb 4 (+10) Craft (Mechanical) 4 (+11) Craft (Structural) 4 (+11) Diplomacy 2 (+6) Escape Artist 2 (+9) Gather Information 11 (+15) Knowledge (Pop Culture) 3 (+3) Knowledge (Civics) 3 (+3) Languages 1 (English, Spanish [Native]) Notice 1 (+7) Search 5 (+5) Sense Motive 4 (+10) Feats: 26PP Acrobatic Bluff Attack Focus (Melee) 6 Attack Specialization (Shield) 3 Beginners Luck Benefit (Use DEX for Craft & Disable Device) Connected Defensive Roll (+2 Toughness) Equipment (5EP) Grapple Finesse Inspire 3 Interpose Leadership Luck 3 Takedown Attack Teamwork Combat Armor (Protection 3, Commlink) [4EP] Industrial Flashlight [1EP] Powers: 18 + 2 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 2 = 27PP Device 4 (20PP Container, Flaws: Hard-To-Lose, Feats: Indestructible, Restricted [special Training]) [18PP] (Mighty Shield) Blast 1 (100ft Max Range, Feats: Improved Range 3 [1 100ft Increment], Mighty 6) [11PP] Impervious Toughness 10 (Flaws: Limited [Dodge Bonus]) [5PP] Shield 4 [4PP] Enhanced Contitution 2 [2PP] (Training) Enhanced Dexterity 2 [2PP] (Training) Leaping 1 (x2 [Running Long Jump: 32ft]) [1PP] (Training) Speed 1 (10mph / 100ft per Move Action) [1PP] (Training) Super-Senses 1 (Danger Sense [Auditory]) [1PP] (Training) Super-Strength 1 (Lifting STR 28 [Heavy Load: 1,200 lbs.]) [2PP] (Training) Abilities (56) + Combat (22) + Saving Throws (9) + Skills (14) + Feats (26) + Powers (27) - Drawbacks (0) = 154/154 Power Points DC Block: ATTACK RANGE SAVE EFFECT Unarmed Touch DC21 Toughness (Staged) Damage (Physical) Shielded Distance DC22 Toughness (Staged) Damage (Physical)
Geez3r Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 In regards to the history, I don't know if its just me, but I had a very hard time following what was going on. If you had to ask me what happened in his past, I don't think I could honestly string together what happened. It felt like it was skipping from scene to scene with little transition or emphasis. In addition, get rid of the paragraph in spanish and translate it. It's fine to have a Spanish heritage, but the Ref's still need to be able to read your sheet. It felt like you had a million ideas in your head that you desperately wanted to get down, but now they need to be made clearer. As for the mechanical parts of the Sheet: Under Combat: Initiative needs to be written as "+7/+6" as you need to show what it is with and without powers. Attack should be "+7, +13 Melee, +13 Shield Grapple Should be "+19, 20 with powers" See our House Rules thread for how Grapple is calculated. Knockback: -11, -6 without Shield, -5 without Shield and Flat footed, -3 without Shield & armor and Flat Footed Skills: If your character knows both English and Spanish, then you've got 49 ranks in skills, not 48. Feats: I'm going to veto that Benefit feat. Doing what that feat does for a single skill is accepted on a case by case basis. This feat simply does too much. Also, including the Benefit feat, I'm counting 23 feats, not 22. Powers: Don't call the Badass Normal an Array because it isn't an Array, and that'll just draw confusion. I don't know why you have it listed as an 8pp Array either. For the Shield, the Blast power is not calculated correctly. You effectively have to buy the Mighty feat for every +1 bonus of Strength you add in order to add an Extra onto the power, such as Ranged. The base Blast Power therefore costs 14pp, not 9pp. Also, you've spent 149/150pp, you need to spend all of them at character creation.
Setzer Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 -Yeah, I´m afraid the story of "pieces pulled thogether" is absolutely my fault. Perhaps I haven´t enough skill with my english to make a character background, much less a character that don´t dampen the experience to the rest. That´s too bad... I did really like the idea. And having ideas in my had that I desperately try to down in the writing is exactly what I felt. -About the feat benefit, well, buying two ranks of Profesion (handyman) makes more or less the same. But I don´t think I see the OP in a feat that let you make craftings with dexterity. Again, yesterday in the chat AvengerAssembled explained me how things that can not looking overpowered can easily turn in dangerous levels of cheese. -The paragraph? Doesn´t add a thing to the story, really, I can supress it with no problem. -Thanks for the Blast explaining.
Setzer Posted July 8, 2011 Author Posted July 8, 2011 Background story rewrited via Archeville suggestion. Pretty much the same, I´m afraid :|
Ecalsneerg Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Abilities: 12 + 12 + 12 + 0 + 12 + 8 = 56 PP Strength: 23 (+6) // 22 (+6) Dexterity: 24 (+7) // 22 (+6) Constitution: 24 (+7) // 22 (+6) Intelligence: 10 (+0) Wisdom: 22 (+6) Charisma: 18 (+4) Str 23 is pretty much exactly the same as Str 22 for every purpose beside 2-3 extra lbs of carrying capacity, and costing one more pp. I can't tell you not to take it, but I strongly advise against it. Skills: 56R = 14PP Acrobatics 12 (+19) Climb 4 (+10) Crafts (Structural) 4 (+4) Crafts (mechanic) 4 (+4) Diplomacy 6 (+10) Escape artist 2 (+9) Gather information 4 (+8) Knowledgement (pop culture) 2 (+2) Language (english) Notice 5 (+11) Profession (handyman) - (+6) Search 5 (+5) Sense motive 4 (+10) Knowledge, not Knowledgement. And you should specify Language 1 (English, native: Spanish). I'd also not bother with ranks in Profession, as his Craft ranks would allow him to do that job fine, and we don't use the rules for Profession affecting Wealth. Jump 1 (source: training) [1PP] Leaping, not Jump. Danger sense (auditive) (source: training) [1PP] It's Super-Senses 1 (Danger Sense [auditory) [1PP] Super-strength 1 (Extended training) [2PP] You should specify heavy load: lbs here. Also, specify x2 distance for Leaping, and 10MPH for Speed.
N/A Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Knowledge, not Knowledgement. And you should specify Language 1 (English, native: Spanish). I'd also not bother with ranks in Profession, as his Craft ranks would allow him to do that job fine, and we don't use the rules for Profession affecting Wealth. Leaping, not Jump. It's Super-Senses 1 (Danger Sense [auditory) [1PP] You should specify heavy load: lbs here. Also, specify x2 distance for Leaping, and 10MPH for Speed. I went ahead and took care of these details. Let the audit continue.
Setzer Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Last Second Changes: -Exchanging "Jack of all trades" feat for "Inspire". Last one is meh unless you have two or three ranks, but... -Enhanced Strength will be a future buying. Sustituted for 4 ranks (2 in Pop Culture, 2 in Crafts: structural; fluff ranks)
Ecalsneerg Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Alright, I've no further issues with this. However, I would encourage you to buy more ranks in Inspire as soon as possible in the next couple of months to make it a more useful feat. And because he's Captain America :approved:
N/A Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 I checked all the math, and found a couple of errors. Fortunately, they were in your favor. You have 1PP left to spend, 3 skill ranks left to assign, and your Device can contain 1PP more if there's anything else you want to buy for it. I understand that English isn't your first language, but that character history was barely coherent. Please, at least, copy/paste your text into a spellchecker before posting it. If you run a Google search for "English spellchecker," you can find a dozen free ones online. I wasn't quite clear on the details of his backstory. What exactly happened with his brother, and the DNAscent process? Is this guy a member of the STAR Squad, or another part of the Freedom City Police Department? Or is he an autonomous vigilante?
N/A Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 At the top of the sheet, where it asks for "Eyes," write what color his eyes are, not the fact that he has two of them.
Setzer Posted July 12, 2011 Author Posted July 12, 2011 Oooookay. I´ll need some time, as "barely coherent" is not a good thing to have in your background and I´m going to do an "step-by-step" translation. Errors in the sheet are easier to correct.
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