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New Beginnings (OOC)


Breella

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Posted

I hope you don't mind me advancing us to the cafeteria, Heritage, but I didn't want to leave the post hanging with them in Jeena's room and not give others the chance to interact with Zach in case they can post again before you're able.

Posted

I had to change the color of Gwen's thoughts and the vines, all the green was running together. It'll be easier to see the difference.

Posted

It's still a little off in that last post. You've used different colors for the vines. Unless it was intentional to show their mood or something. I have to say, I like the idea of you using the brown text for them, as they're a henna tattoo, right? Perhaps you should embolden the text for them to further accentuate it.

Posted

No mistakes.

This is the vines, their words are short and childlike

This is Gwen's inner voice, one she can't keep hidden from the vines yet, its how she talks to them also.

This is Gwen speaking.

I figured the three color breakdown would be easier to read.

Posted

Quote, did you mean to start talking about Switzerland instead of the Netherlands, or did I just missinterpet your last post? If it's intentional, I love it, though it's letting the mask slip a bit ;)

Posted

Actually, that was a slip up on my part. Do you think I should edit, or leave it? I think I'm going to leave it. I have an idea for how he can back pedal if one of the other characters calls him on it. Could be good for comic relief.

Posted

Actually, that was a slip up on my part. Do you think I should edit, or leave it? I think I'm going to leave it. I have an idea for how he can back pedal if one of the other characters calls him on it. Could be good for comic relief.

Leave it, it's awesome!

Posted

Just to be clear, I'm not implying Jeena has scars from like a suicide attempt or something; I just assume as a girl who grew up fighting in a resistance movement, she probably sustained a few cuts or burns over the years that didn't get the best medical treatment in the field. She's a war child, not a girl with borderline personality disorder. ;)

Posted

That last post is my way of saying, continue to talk without me, but I'd like to be around when you do that tour (if that's not too much to ask). I'm leaving for the weekend and I have no clue if I'll have net access. See you all Tuesday!

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