The Penitent (PL10 Hero)

[Shofet]

Player Name: Shofet

Character Name: The Penitent

Power Level: 10 (154/156PP)

Trade-Offs: +3 Toughness/-3 Defense

Unspent Power Points: 2

Progress To Bronze Status: 6/30

In Brief: Sin-eater who takes on the burden of redeeming a thousand damned souls.

Alternate Identity: Bram Davis

Identity: Secret

Birthplace: Charleston, WV, United States of America

Occupation: None

Affiliations: An esoteric order of Sin-Eaters

Family: None that recognise him as such

Description: A demonic looking being.

Age: 25 (DoB: Wednesday, January 4th, 1987)

Apparent Age: Twenty-five

Gender: Male

Ethnicity: Scottish-Appalachian (so Caucasian)

Height: 6'04"

Weight: 242 lb

Eyes: Red irises, yellow sclera, cat's pupils

Hair: Jet black

A tall, burly man with an explicitly demonic look about him, with long, black horns curving from his head, short barbs and spines extending from various spots in his ash-grey skin, and a mouth full of snow-white fangs. His head is topped with a mop of jet black hair that splays in various directions, sometimes obscuring his pointed ears. He has no facial hair to speak of, and does not seem to grow any stubble. His eyebrows and mouth are curved just so, making it look like even when he's smiling something has put him in a foul mood. All over his torso are Latin, Arabic and Hebrew names for Angels and titles for God in the form of tattoos written in black ink and highly stylised.

Power Descriptions:

In general, his powers betray a supernatural sense about him, and a connection with the dead. For example, when he flies, the observant (and magically attuned) can see faint, ghostly hands holding him up, or when he strikes someone with his super-strength, the afformentioned observant and magical individual will see many ghostly hands striking instead of just his. Additionally, when he uses his powers of Hellfire, the strong smell of sulfur remains.

History:

Bram Davis was born just outside of Charleston, West Virginia, to a very distinctly Appalachian family of one Mister Andrew Davis and a lovely Missus Marienne Davis (nee Abernathy). However, once one got past the stereotypes, it could be noticed that this couple was a lot more intelligent than some random couple of hillbillies, and frankly, a bit more eerie. Both of them were Sin-Eaters, a people who came from a long tradition extending back into the earliest days of Christendom in the British Isles. Sin-eaters, originally, were people who "ate" the sins of the very recently dead, ensuring their path into Heaven, while feeding the bellies of the sin-eaters, who were generally poor folk. Over time, this ritualised in the Applachian area, forming a sort of esoteric order of people who did so while creating a safety net for the generally poor population that performed this.

Bram himself was born, perhaps somewhat spectacularly, with a pure heart that had staying power. The boy was never given to lust, or hate, or anger, and never thought a selfish thought in all his life. This, of course, was a bit of a spectacle among people like the Davis' and other members of their strange order, who made sure to cultivate this. Bram remained well-liked, if avoided by those wishing to have a particularly visceral party, and was instructed in how a sin-eater works in his youth until the day came that he would be a man.

Now, there was a ritual among the order that those newly inducted into being a full-fledged sin-eater would go out into the world for a few years, and help use their gift all over. Bram was quite excited about the prospect, loving the idea of helping those in need. However, Bram was pulled aside by the leaders. Since the initiation for all was done in secret, as was the going away, this was the last time Bram would see his parents. It was explained to Bram thus:

"You see, my boy, that there are those souls in Hell that, while damned, may have not been evil if not forced into a desparate situation by circumstance. While certainly there are truly evil souls out there, it has been felt that some should be given the chance to be spared by a particular custom we have.

"We have, once every few generations, found a child born with a pure heart and given them a choice. If you accept our offer, a thousand souls of those who, not through pain but genuine desire to make good, wish to repent their actions and make good what they have done wrong on Earth. While their absolution is no guarantee, by accepting our offer, you would give them that chance to be accepted into a realm befitting their intentions.

"This would admittedly change you greatly, and you would be beholden to the vice that you have miraculously avoided all your life, but it brings with you the chance to do these thousand right."

Out of his own innocence, and perhaps foolishness, Bram accepted this burden upon himself. A thousand damned souls were bound to the body of Bram Davis, using the names of Angels and titles of the Lord in Hebrew, Latin and Arabic. Through this, the personality of the original Bram Davis faded, and was replaced with a new being: the Penitent. Now, emotions such as anger, jealousy, hate and pain became very real to him while his form became something demonic. However, he was instructed to, despite all this, help these souls reach their reward, defend those who are good from the forces of evil, and perhaps most importantly, help the living evil turn back to good. To do this, he was given three strictures:

1) He may not ever take a human or sapient life unless under the most absolutely dire circumstances, whereby humanity faces total extinction if avoided.

2) He may not ever violate the free will of another thinking being by sullying their mind through attempted control and may not tolerate it in others.

3) He must always be willing to allow forgiveness of an individual, no matter how badly they have wronged him. Revenge can not be taken by him in even the pettiest of ways.

So he ventured out into the world under the cover of night, and set out to right wrongs. This has served him well for the past few years, however, a silent calling and a sudden doubling in power has led him to Freedom City to deal with something he can feel coming.

Personality & Motivation:

Anyone who knew the meek, charming, somewhat thick Bram Davis would not be easily convinced the Penitent is the same man. The Penitent is a passionate, sarcastic, aggressive and obnoxious being, with a personality given to self-indulgence. However, there are areas where his original personality shines through. The Penitent is a fervent egalitarian, seeing no reason anyone should be treated different for any reason; additionally, while his temper lights up faster than a powder-keg with a lit match in it, it also snuffs like a candle in a stiff breeze. He also has a very strong sense of empathy, and a lot of his bravado disappears when he sees someone who is truly miserable or upset, which will get him to do his best to talk.

The Penitent's main motivation, unsurprisingly enough, is to help people. Not out of a sense of justice or duty, because while those are present, his main way of thinking is that he really just doesn't like seeing people being hurt, emotionally or physically. This means that while he does indeed try to save the day, he's often focused on helping the people hurt in the aftermath in a crime, or even the criminal themself. Thus, while his temper sometimes gets in the way, he lives to help everyone whatever side of life they are on.

Powers & Tactics:

The Penitent's style of fighting is quick incapacitation, with the quicker, the better. When fighting an opponent that is truly dangerous (i.e., willing to hurt, or, god forbid, kill civilians) that he can't knock down right away, the Penitent makes sure to make himself seem the biggest threat at the moment so any attacks will be focused on him instead of the populace. Since he is rather tougher than the average person, he is less afraid of getting close up to a strong enemy, but he still prefers to open with a ranged blast of Hellfire.

Complications:

Unsettling: Regardless of his intentions or personality, the fact that the Penitent is carrying a thousand dead guys (and ladies!) around with him, coupled with his demonic appearance, naturally puts people off around him. While many are capable of ignoring it or even eventually getting used to it, an eerie feeling surrounds him and people subconsciously are drawn to thoughts of their own mortality. This has a double-effect with those explicitly tied to the dead or any of the afterlives, as they see in full form several ghostly forms clinging to him, ranging from about eight to ten at any given time and switching every once in a while.

Penniless: The Penitent, due to the fact that he looks explicitly like a demon all the time and is naturally eerie, can not find himself a place willing to hire him. This is coupled with him being horrifically bad with money, meaning most of his money is blown on some variety of drink with food as an afterthought. As such, he has no money to speak of and generally no place to live.

Tempted: While Bram's soul is the one in control and his purity has gone a long way in keeping the Penitent from becoming wicked, there are still a thousand others who are there and their own issues do affect the Penitent greatly. The Penitent fights a constant battle to never go too far. Coupled with his temper, it can be very difficult and losing the battle is always almost a pleasant thought.

Bound by Stricture: Part of the Penitent's issue is how absolute his strictures are, and how he's supposed to ensure them in others. That means that he won't work with anyone who actively controls minds or uses mental manipulation, or someone working for the purpose of vengeance. He also is obligated to be forgiving of someone who is genuinely sorry for what they have done, meaning the expedient solution isn't always the one he can take.

Abilities: 6 + 6 + 8 + 6 + 8 = 34PP

Strength: 30 [16] (+10/+3)

Dexterity: 10 (+0)

Constitution: 26 [16] (+8/+4)

Intelligence: 18 (+4)

Wisdom: 16 (+3)

Charisma: 18 (+4)

Combat: 20 + 14 = 34PP

Initiative: +0

Attack: +10/+12 w/Brimstone

Grapple: +20/+10 (+10 Attack Bonus, +10 Enhanced Strength)

Defense: +7, +3 Flat-footed

Knockback: -6

Saving Throws: 3 + 3 = 6PP

Toughness: +13/+6 (+8 CON/+3 CON, +5 Protection)

Fortitude: +8/+3 (+8 CON/+3 CON)

Reflex: +3 (+0 DEX, +3)

Will: +6 (+3 Wis, +3 Base)

Skills: 24R = 6PP

Bluff 4 (+8)

Diplomacy 4 (+8)

Gather Information 4 (+8)

Intimidate 4 (+8)

Knowledge (Theology and Philosophy) 4 (+6)

Sense Motive 4 (+6)

Feats: 10PP

All-Out Attack

Fast Overrun

Fearless

Improved Grab

Improved Grapple

Improved Overrun

Improved Sunder

Move-by Action

Power Attack

Startle

Powers: 7 + 3 + 10 + 14 + 10 + 23 + 5 = 72

All powers have the "magic" descriptor

Communication 3 (Mental [1000 ft], PF: Selective, Extras: Area) Spiritual Messenger [7PP]

Comprehend 2: (Languages [speak and understand any one language at once]), Drawback: Broad-Type [Limited to human languages]) [3PP]

Enhanced Constitution 10 [10PP]

Enhanced Strength 14 [14PP]

Flight 5 (250 MPH / 2 500 ft/rnd) [10PP]

Infernal Power Array 10 (20 point array; Power Feats:3 Alternate Powers)[23PP]

BP: Hellfire Control 8 (Power Feats: Accurate, Affects Insubstantial 2, Improved Crit) Brimstone Flames {20PP}

AP: Dazzle 10 (Auditory, Extras: Area [burst]) Terrible Howling {20PP}

AP: Healing 5 (Extras: Energizing, Resurrection) {20PP}

AP: Drain Toughness 10 (Extra: Affects Objects [+1]) Ghastly Leech {20PP}

Protection 5 [5PP]

Drawbacks [-8 pp]

Weakness (Abrahamic holy places; Uncommon, Major [-1 all physical ability scores], per 1 minute; -5pp)

Weakness (holy symbols, dazed for one round by losing an opposed Charisma check; common, moderate, -3pp)

DC Block

Code:

ATTACK RANGE SAVE EFFECT

Unarmed Touch DC25 Toughness (staged) Damage (physical)

Blast (Hellfire) Ranged DC23 TOU (staged) Damage (energy)

Dazzle Ranged DC25 REF/FOR (staged) Sensory(auditory)

Drain Touch DC29 FOR(staged) Damage (TOU)

Totals: Abilities (34) + Combat (34) + Saving Throws (6) + Skills (6) + Feats (10) + Powers (73) - Drawbacks (8) = 154/156 Power Points

[Avenger Assembled]

I can't comment too much on the backstory, I'm not one of our more magic-focused guys. There are some issues with the math. That's okay, this is a complicated system to learn.

1.

Abilities: 5 + 0 + 6 + 8 + 6 + 8 = 33PP

Strength: 30 (15) (+10/+2)

Dexterity: 10 (+0)

Constitution: 26 (16) (+8/+4)

Intelligence: 18 (+4)

Wisdom: 16 (+3)

Charisma: 18 (+4)

Odd ability scores are a waste of points. (It's an unfortunate, though easy to fix, artifact of the system). You should round his base strength down to 14, or up to 16.

2.

Combat: 4 + 14 + 6 + 2 = 26

Initiative: +2

Attack: +10 Melee, +3 Ranged

Grapple: +1

Defense: +7

Knockback: -0

Where are you getting this +10 melee attack? I don't see that anywhere on his sheet. M&M is a game where you do need to build to caps, at least for starters.

3.

Saving Throws: 3 + 3 = 6PP

Toughness: +13 (+8 CON, +5 Impervious Toughness)

Fortitude: +8 (+8 CON)

Reflex: +3 (+5)

Will: +6 (+3 Wis, +3 Base)

I don't understand the notation for his Reflex save. Does he have no points there? Three? Five?

4.

Skills: 24R = 6PP

Diplomacy 4 (+8)

Gather Information 4 (+9)

Intimidate 8 (+13)

Investigate 4 (+9)

Knowledge (Theology and Philosophy) 4 (+6)

He should have Notice, Search, and/or Sense Motive; Investigate is effectively useless without them. (They let you find the clues, Investigate lets you figure out what they mean).

5.

Feats: 10PP

All-Out Attack

Fast Overrun

Fearless

Improved Grab

Improved Grapple

Improved Overrun

Improved Sunder

Jack-Of-All-Trades

Startle

Rage

Rage isn't a terribly useful feat with our rules; they make it impossible to meet caps! I'd swap it out for Power Attack (a very useful feat) and just describe going into a rage while using All-Out and Power Attack together. And those combat feats won't be as useful to you as, say, Skill Mastery, or Uncanny Dodge.

Powers: 7 + 1 + 10 + 15 + 12 + 5 + 27 = 77PP

All powers have the "magic" descriptor

Communication 5; Spiritual Messenger; Extras: Area Power Feats: Selective Range 5 Miles, Mental [7PP]

Comprehend 1: Languages Drawbacks: Broad-type (limited to human languages only) Power Feats: Innate [2PP]

Enhanced Constitution 10 [10PP]

Enhanced Constitution 15 [15PP]

Flight 6: 500 MPH / 5 000 ft per move action [12PP]

Impervious Toughness 5; Extras: Impervious; Flaws: Ablative (Physical) [5PP]

Infernal Power Array 10 (20 points) Power Feats: Accurate 3[27PP]

BPHellfire Control 8Brimstone Flames; Feats: Split 2, Affects Insubstantial 2 {20PP}

Alternate Power: Dazzle(auditory) 10 Terrible Howling (Auditory); ExtrasArea Cone {20PP}

Alternate Power: Healing 9 Unholy Salvation; Extras: Energizing, Resurrection {20PP}

Alternate Power: Drain 10( Ghastly Leech Extras: Link (strike){20PP}

Alternate Power: Disintegration 5( Ravages of the Afterlife; {20PP}

There's a lot to work on here. It looks like you want Protection, not just buying Impervious onto his base TOU. You haven't explained what the Drain actually drains. It looks like you want Comprehend 2 (speak and understand all language simultaneously) if you want divine-style comprehension. Notation needs fixing in general. Maybe some immunities?

Drawbacks

Power Loss (Holy Places: Uncommon, Major) [-3PP]

Vulnerable (Divine: Very Common, Major) [-5PP]

You need to explain more here.

For reference, here are some demon-style builds for your use:

Ecal's Demon

AA's Demon

[Shofet]

Okay, I think I covered what you were talking about. I decided not to take the Immunities because I found no IC way to justify it.

[Avenger Assembled]

Fix his unenhanced Strength score and his save totals.

Match his array structure up to look (bold and italics-wise) like the one on Ecal's demon build.

[Shofet]

Made a list of edits I made.

• 
  [*:25xh4j6s]Fixed the strength value so it is marked as 6 points instead of five, putting the overall ability cost at 34 instead of 33
  [*:25xh4j6s]Removed the unnecessary zeros from the combat score.
  [*:25xh4j6s]Edited the grapple score to keep in line with the edits made to the melee bonus
  [*:25xh4j6s]Fixed the saving throws to include the depowered bonuses.
  [*:25xh4j6s]Added Sense Motive to the skill list.
  [*:25xh4j6s]Removed attack focus to keep in line with caps, and added in Move-by Action, changing the feat points to 10
  [*:25xh4j6s]Spaced out powers, and edited the formatting to be more readable after consultation with Sorus. Bumped Flight back up to six in lieu of the extra points from removing the Accuracy to keep with caps. Linked Drain (Toughness) with Strike 5 instead of the Hellfire.

Tried to make it easier to keep track of just what I edited this time.

[Avenger Assembled]

APPROVED

[Supercape]

Maths wise:

The communication power, I make 7PP, not 5. It's base cost of 3' with an extra is 6, then a feat on top (selective)

Comprehend 2 is fine, for 4PP. Only human languages I would consider a drawback at the very best, so 3PP.

Auditory dazzle: are you sure you want it ranged and cone? That seems a little odd. You can place the origin of the cone at range....most shouts or "breath weapons" would be no range and cone extra. If it were to be no range and cone that would be 10PP, allowing another extra such as selective.

Note that disintegration is 5PP/Rank in ultimate power. You can have it at 4PP/Rank, effectively as a linked ranged damage and linked ranged toughness. In this case however you don't get the "affects objects" extra for the drain, meaning it will only work on living things (with a CON score).

So I am afraid that's a few points to make up, sorry.

On a more philosophical note, I am a bit nervous about the weakness to "Abrahamic God". The site accepts all religious beliefs, including atheism and agnosticism, in both players and characters. Whilst we have angels, and demons, there is a fine line here- we have to respect and accommodate every bodies beliefs so cannon that there is a particular, or indeed, any God, or conversely there is no God won't work. The comics fudge this, and so should we - angels and demons can be consider mystical races rather than proof of a Particular God, or they can be consider as deriving from God. But nothing proves one way or another.

So by saying this character is vulnerable to an "Abrahamic God" you are stating canonically the existence of such.

This is a difficult line to walk, but a descriptor such as "Vulnerable to divine" would solve this as it becomes just a descriptor.

[Ecalsneerg]

Well, I think the way we've worked it is angels are definitely servants of the Abrahamic God (because other gods have their own servants), and demons are more multi-denominational (for example, but Lucifer and Hades' realms have demonic servants in them). However, I do agree with the sentiment, most vulnerabilities and immunities are to broad divine and infernal descriptors, not specific deities.

[Avenger Assembled]

Ugh, I have repaired some of the math errors (Supercape caught several of them) that I had mentioned to correct but somehow never actually got edited. My apologies, fellow Refs. (I'm fine with the Abrahamic God (or whatever passes for him) existing in-setting, because we've said so!)

Shofet, take a look at how I've changed up some of your powers and drawbacks. If they meet with your approval, we'll go from there.

I dropped the vulnerability and power loss and replaced it with a drain; so that he eventually becomes paralyzed after spending ten minutes or so on a holy site, and with a vampire-like aversion to crosses being waved in his face with hostile intent.

He now actually meets caps with many of his powers, others where he doesn't are at least point-balanced. I dropped his basically useless disintegrate power to let him afford the level of communication he had, fixed the math on his Comprehend, and fixed his healing as well.

[Shofet]

Yeah, I'm fine with everything that was changed. The changes are relatively minor and hey, they get me on the way to approval.

[Supercape]

This all works out for me. I would just like your confirmation on:

1. Auditory Dazzle still being ranged and cone. This is very odd to me - Ranged and Burst I could understand, or No Range and Cone, but as it stands its like you create a cone effect at range (the "tip" of the cone you create away from you and the shout originates from there - which I suppose works if you are looking at some ventriliquism effect shout!). ]

2. You are happy with DRain Toughness replacing Disintegrate (it is a mellee, not ranged effect as it stands).

[Shofet]

I ended up changing the cone to burst, and I'm fine with the melee drain as is.

[Supercape]

:approved:

[Gizmo]

Archived due to inactivity.