Wellness Wishes (IC)

[Raveled]

Jessica nodded, commiserating. "I got caught in one of those portals. I ended up going back to some point in the Cold War and... and fought my grandfather." She clenched her hands into fists for a moment, a ghost of the original feeling of betrayal passing over her. "Did you ever... did you ever find out that someone you thought was one way, was good and true and heroic and never had a doubt, was the exact opposite? Was everything they had told you never to be?"

[KnightDisciple]

Corbin was a bit shocked by what he said, though certainly the time portals had been erratic in how they ended up working.

"I...I can't say that I have. I've learned a thing or two about some friends, but it's been more the sort of thing that gives you a richer perspective. For what it's worth, I'm sorry about learning what you did. Can I ask what brought you to fight with him?"

[Raveled]

Jessica hugged herself. If she'd had control over her legs, she would've drawn them up. "He was killing people.

"I knew he was a soldier. I knew he'd been in battles. But this was... these were ordinary troops, Corbin. Poor souls armed with rifles and bayonets. He had cannons, flamethrowers, and rocket, he was invincible. It was a slaughter." She shivered. "Until I put a stop to it.

"Corbin, do you think you could fight Quo-Dis, or someone on Young Freedom if they went bad? I mean, all the way?"

[KnightDisciple]

Corbin sighed, rolling his answers around in his head for a moment before responding.

"Jessica...I have to be honest. Most soldiers don't go looking for "fair fights". Fair fights are for honor duels and sports competitions. Whatever our opinions on the idea of war in general, it's commonly accepted that you bring whatever advantages you can to bear. Would it have been better if he'd killed them with a regular rifle?

War is an ugly thing. Men, and women, do ugly things in war. To paraphrase one General Patton, though, a soldier's job in war is not to die for his country, but to make the other side die for theirs."

He closed his eyes for a moment, took a calming breath, then opened them to look Jessica directly in the eye as he answered her question.

"I've had to answer that question once already. A bit over a year ago, amongst all the other things I had to deal with, I faced another version of Quo-Dis. One corrupted by the Terminus so thoroughly that she wasn't even properly alive; a sort of Terminus zombie, I guess. You know what I did?"

He gives a bitter laugh.

"I devolved into a gibbering, crying wreck of a human being, trying to run away while my friends fought for their lives, my very powers crumbling around my body as fear took hold of my heart. I managed to get myself together enough to heal a friend, but it was a near thing.

Ever since then...I've had some nightmares. But I've also forced myself to consider the idea of fighting my friends, or some version of them. There are plenty of worlds out there where none of us are very nice..."

His mind strayed to Inquisitor Hughes, and the terrible things he likely did in the terrible place he came from.

"I think I could. But...what do you mean by "all the way"?"

[Raveled]

Jessica sighed and slouched on the bed. "I don't know. I just always thought that Granddad was... He always taught me that my brain and my money meant I had to help people! Finding him fighting people, killing people was just a... a big shock."

She listened to Corbin's story, worrying that she had brought up bad memories in someone who just wanted to comfort her, to reassure her that she wasn't forgotten. She wanted to get up and sit next to him, but that wasn't an option, so she just said, "Our lives get kind of terrible sometimes."

She sighed at the question, glancing up at the ceiling. "I don't know. If someone you really cared for went over to the other side, could you... take them down? Kill them, if you had to? Could you ever face their family again?"

[KnightDisciple]

"I can see how it would be an unpleasant surprise. It's...a difficult thing to ponder, no matter how you look at it."

He nodded as she opined about the lives of heroes.

"Yes. They do."

His words had the weight of experience behind them, but he didn't seem ready to elaborate.

"Stop them? Yes. It'd be hard, but I could do it. Kill them? I...I don't know. I'm afraid to contemplate a situation where I would have to use lethal force against a former friend. But if I did, I'm not sure I could face myself, let along their family. I'd probably have to make enough paintings to build a house with to clear my head. I don't know if I could bring myself to ring-sling again if that happened."

[Raveled]

Jessica took a deep breath, laughing weakly. "Heh. I'm just a big bag of hard questions today, aren't I? I try so hard to keep a positive attitude towards everything, but it's hard. Sitting here in bed, sometimes I can only see the things I've done wrong. And it makes me think of all the stuff I've been meaning to do and putting off." She rubbed at her eyes, sniffing back tears. "When I get out of here, I've got some things I need to take care of." She looked up at Corbin suddenly. "Corbin, have you ever wanted to travel across the country?"

[KnightDisciple]

"Nothing wrong with friends making you work your brain. Good to keep you on your toes. If you're getting restless about doing things, start making a list. Write them down. Plan them out. Productive, keeps you busy."

He blinked at her statement and almost non-sequitur question.

"I...guess? I mean, it's not my number one wish, but it would be fun. Assuming we're talking "drive around and see the sights" instead of "fly from coast to coast ASAP". I guess I wanted to travel to the Med area a bit more...Why do you ask?"

[Raveled]

Jessica shrugged. "Some of the stuff I have to do is in different cities around the country," she said. "I could just fly there, either in a plane or in my suit, but part of me wants to drive. I don't have a real, concrete reason, but..." She fiddled with her fingers, not used to talking about hunches and intuitions. "It just feels right, you know? Take my time, have to think about some stuff."

[KnightDisciple]

Corbin nods slowly.

"No, I think I see what you're saying. Sounds like you want, and could use, a break from focusing quite as much on 'hero stuff', and this trip will let you do something productive, get a vacation from regular work, and get away from the hero show for a bit. Sounds like it will be good for you. So long as you don't rush your, ah, self-repair because you wanna get on the road."

The last bit was said mostly in jest, but there was a bit of seriousness to his tone; Corbin clearly figured Jessica might push herself too far too soon if she wasn't occasionally given a gentle reminder.

[Raveled]

Jessica quirked a smile. "Well. I don't think I could drive unless I could move my feet. I promise I'll get some therapy time in before I hit the road though, okay, Corbin?"

Time unreeled as the pair chatted. Lunch came and went and Jessica wrangled food for her guest; hours later he excused himself and left. The young woman went back to her work, humming happily. Despite the darkness outside, the feeling inside the room was a bit brighter than the previous days.