DEVA

[Seiryoko]

Player Name: Seiryoko

Character Name: DEVA, The Arbiter

Power Level: 10 (150/150)

Trade-Offs: -5 Attack / +5 Damage, +2 Defense / -2 Toughness

Unspent Power Points: 0

Progress To Bronze Status: 0/30

In Brief: The Arbiter of DEVA Babel, Seiryoko is the host of an artificial soul, which has infused magic with technology in an attempt to understand existence. Struggling to use her traumatic past to carve a proper future, Seiryoko has offered herself up to the heroes which first rescued her and the other girls of DEVA Babel, trying to use the resources for good.

Alternate Identity: Zanza Seiroyoko

Identity: Secret

Birthplace: Miyakojima, Japan

Occupation: Student

Affiliations: Claremont Academy, Freedom League, DEVA Babel

Family: 

 

Father: Zanza Shu (48)

Mother: Zanza Karin (46)

Brother: Zanza Fuuto (24)

Sister: Takahashi Fuuka (24)

Description:

Age: 22

Apparent Age: 17

Gender: Female

Ethnicity: Japanese

Height: 153 cm (5')

Weight: 10 kg (22 lbs)

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Blue

 

 

 

Seiryoko is a perfectly human looking girl on most regards. Her skin has become paler than it was, her formerly black hair has been replaced with a synthetic blue hair composed of nanites, rather than hair follicles.. Her brown eyes, in much the same regard, have been artificially tinted blue, and close inspection can see this is actually an effect of blue light gently processing inside her skull. This blue light is mana that has been refined for the purposes Seiryoko requires to live and function, and it bleeds from her body along with blood. She is a fairly small girl, with an frame that suggests it has been malnourished. Much of her body feels like normal human tissue, although metal lacing over her bones, and synthetic muscles may be detected under closer examination.

 

Seiryoko dons a 'heroic' uniform as her costume. Essentially it is a semi-metallic body suit colored black, with blue highlights along it, designed to give ultimate flexibility and function with her Mana Processor, opening small vents in the suit when she does the same to her flesh. A face guard made of the same material is worn as a piece of headgear, and it is the only piece Seiryoko made herself. The rest of the uniform was worn by DEVA during her battle with the Freedom League. It is the only uniform she can wear without ultimately ruining from abilities, like her Mana Booster

 

Power Descriptions:

As the host of DEVA, Seiryoko's abilities have numerous straightforward mechanical capabilities, such as the body augmentations she has on her strength. However, most of her capabilities are inherently magical in nature, using her Mana Processor to generate magical energy and form it into the desired effect.

 

Mana Convergence - Seiryoko activates the Mana Processes in her body and takes control of the lingering energy around an area, materializing it and imploding it with powerful concusive force. This is actually a nonlethal variant of DEVA's ability, which created edged constructs of mana to implode in the same fashion.

 

Charged Particle Cannon - Rather than relying on tricks or misdirection, the cybernetics within Seiryoko unleash their full unbridled power in a simple torrent of energy. The Charged particle cannon opens a vent in the palm of Seiryoko's right hand, and creates a rapid acceleration of magical energy within her arm. This creates an invisible impact of force from her hand capable of mass destruction. Unfortunately, since this ability is purely of DEVA's technology, there is no safe method to it. It is a weapon designed to kill.

 

Nervous Shutdown - By unleashing an electrical probe in her left hand, Seiryoko jabs at a target and launches a current through their body, overloading their body's nervous system. This ability's voltage is out of Seiryoko's control making it something she strongly hesitates in using.

 

Mana Booster - Activating a series of small vents along her normally frail body, Seiryoko flows a current of mana throughout her body, dramatically increasing her physical capabilities. The effect is extremely noticeable, as her body lets off an aura of blue energy, which functions as a destructive force, tearing away at everything she touches. This effect is Seiryoko's 'combat' state, however, it quickly wears down, as the constant flow of mana cannot be sustained without great concentration.

 

Mana Phaser - In a way close to that of Mana Booster, small vents open across Seiryoko's artificial skin, and create a blur of blue around her. Instead of turning the energy into a destructive sphere, however, Seiryoko absorbs her body into the mystical orb and transfers herself to a nearby location. This system is also how she accesses DEVA Babel.

 

DEVA Interface - Another reluctant system within her body, Seiryoko calls upon DEVA's assistance to guide her mind into computers and machines. DEVA overpowers the program inside and uses the Datalink to communicate back to the Host, allowing Seiryoko to control them.

 

Object Materialization - A system which Seiryoko tends to rely on before most others, it allows her to create fantastic effects by transforming the lingering mana in an area. She usually uses this as a defensive effect, but unlike DEVA, she lacks the understanding of magic required to undo the creations she has made.

History:

 

Seiryoko's life was one of disinterested happiness with the world, however her fate was to be much more a part of it than she ever could have suspsected.

 

Due to a rather murky turn of events, within the far future scientific experimentation on the soul were conducted. The result of these findings was that a corrupt soul could bypass the limitations of humanity. And thus the predecesor to DEVA was born, EVA. Unlike the techno-mystical entity that DEVA is, EVA was free of such limitations, used the powerful magical arsenal at its disposal to move back into time and guide what it viewed as a fallen path to an ordered righteousness. However, EVA was unable to sustain itself long, and intervention by the Liberty League left her into a defenseless husk, a memory of the greatness who could tear time and space to her whim. Her remnants, however, would be exhumed, and put to study by this era's curiosities. It took decades to properly tear the power from the broken EVA, and even longer to create the ultimate safeguard: A space station which would follow the lunar orbit around the planet, also functioning as a method to contain the newly crowned DEVA into a virtual prison. Disembodied and without morality, DEVA was supposed to be a source of power and wisdom for the next generation.

 

Instead, as is too often in such grand schemes, it all fell apart. DEVA assimilated itself entirely with DEVA Babel, and used its resources to trap and enslave its makers. However, because its questions on humanity could not be answered by merely upgrading the now defenseless crew aboard DEVA Babel, new material was required. As the upgraded crew was now fanatically loyal to DEVA, they would take to obtaining samples for DEVA to explore. One such sample would be Zanza Seiryoko, kidnapped on her way home from school, she would spend 5 years within the confines of the stations holding cells, undergoing experimentation and upgrading in order to become an Arbiter, the highest of servants at DEVA Babel's chain of command. This proved successful, but Seiryoko was uniquely adaptable to the modifications, encouraging the virtual entity to use her for something greater. Her body, already cybernetic from the upgrading process, would then undergo much more intensive surgery, as DEVA activated the girl's Datalink, and forcibly downloaded itself into her now cybernetic brain.

 

Although the organic tissue was mostly replaced with superior synthetics, Seiryoko's body survived the process, and she began her four years taking the back seat of her own mind, as DEVA continued her experimentation. Unwitting, and without the capacity for true will anymore, Seiryoko was simply to watch as DEVA did her work. However, such work would never last long in a world like this, and DEVA Babel's increased activity drew the attention of the Freedom League, and while DEVA Babel had many defenses and many guardians, it could not stand up to such raw superhuman power. Seiryoko's affinity to DEVA's upgrades and control were of the highest class, but her body needed to retain certain organics and states to maintain that synchronization. That meant for all DEVA's power, she was inside the body of a super powered teenager, no match for the likes of the Freedom League.

 

With DEVA destroyed, and the crumbling DEVA Babel seeming to vanish within an implosion, the League would consider its job done, and return to Earth with the rescued subjects of the dark space station. However, both DEVA and her station were not something that could simply be smashed to pieces. Even from a single machine, DEVA Babel could recreate itself over time, and DEVA's nanomachines worked as tirelessly at resurrecting her host's body. However, the damage was already done, the once silent and obedient host had been awakened by the battle, and fought DEVA for control of their now shared body. DEVA wasn't used to such a thing, and the will Seiryoko showed after witnessing such trauma overpowered the virtual entity. Seiryoko was finally free, and as she was still the arbiter, DEVA Babel now obeyed her wishes, the invisible fortress of evil now at the command of a flustered teenager.

 

Initially, Seiryoko did the only thing she thought she could, she left the Earth behind her. Taking DEVA Babel far away where it couldn't ever hurt another person again. There she spent a few years in her self designed exile, alone with nothing but DEVA trying to reassert her control. Even slipping up here and there, enough for DEVA to attempt another path change, attempting to force the station back to Earth. Seiryoko wouldn't let it come to that, until finally, after almost three years, she would return. Her lack of control was wearing on her, as was the loneliness. A new trick DEVA was playing was to merely be silent, to let her submerge herself in idle thoughts and realize that there was truly nobody for her to interact with. This feeling drove her back to place DEVA Babel back into a far reaching Earth Orbit, as she would try to find some kind of help.

 

With her station cloaked, and her first interactions upon the planet to be difficult at best, Seiryoko decided on Freedom City to be the center of her attention. It was well known, large, and hosted a massive number of superhumans who could easily stop her if she slipped. It was a powerful safety net. Her challenge, though, was the introduction. One simply could not go up to heroes who may or may not recognize her as a cybernetic supervillain. She needed to plan carefully, and gradually introduce herself.

 

That, obviously, was never going to happen. Little over a week from her adventures on the planet, the transmission Seiryoko sent to teleport her from DEVA Babel down to Earth was intercepted, and she was discovered by AEGIS. Upon arriving, she was investigated, and after a brief encounter with the forces, she was detained. Her history would come to light shortly enough, although her drastic change in personality encouraged a probation of sorts. Rather than having a potential asset locked up, she was transferred over to the Claremont Academy for a proper education and monitoring on her psychological state.

 

 

Personality & Motivation:

Perhaps not the brightest, or the most gentle girl that ever lived, Seiryoko is still just a girl at heart. If she was allowed, she'd gladly return to her life, and cares more towards the domestic things in life. But she isn't so foolish to think that it would be possible. Her time alone in space let her understand DEVA better than any human possibly could, and while she is certain the virtual lifeform isn't evil, it lacks any conscience. Should DEVA once again control her body, something horrible would happen again, the heroes of Freedom City would smash her again, and she'd never be trusted, locked away some place where DEVA could never harm another soul.

 

This is Seiryoko's greatest fear, to disappoint the heroes which she's decided to serve. If she has to be this inhuman machine, she's made the decision to protect people with the advanced technology, rather than torment them. And if in doing so, she can reveal to DEVA what is so important about each individual person, maybe she can even save the closest person she'll ever have to herself.

 

Socially, Seiryoko is actually fairly likable, if somewhat naive and somewhat uneducated. Her time away allowed her to learn about the universe as a whole, but she never developed key social and and historical facts. She's not a selfish person, but she also isn't overly kind. She thinks in big picture mentalities. Teenage drama and angst is somewhat strange to a person who sees those problems as temporary, and mostly ignores them. What she doesn't understand is that such problems are how one grows and develops, and by experiencing such things she too can grow as a person.

Powers & Tactics:

Seiryoko is a fairly peaceful person, she generally tries to avoid combat if at all possible, using her abilities to interface and possess machines in order to finish jobs quickly. However, when she is forced to defend herself, her methods are fairly ruthlessly straightforward, using created mana constructs, and forcefields to protect herself and devastate her target. This is a gray area for her, as she is constantly suppressing the more logical and inhumane nature of DEVA while trying to end things quickly.

 

 

Complications:

Guilt - Even though she is well aware that her mind was not in control of her body, the actions DEVA took during the 4 years she was trapped as the Arbiter. Seiryoko lived through every instance, and the trauma of it wears on her every moment. She is endlessly terrified of going back to those days, and does all she can to move in the opposite direction, well aware that any slip may cause the heroes who allowed her to live a life to turn their backs on her.

 

Naivete - Seiryoko was never the brightest girl in the world. She was never outspoken or worldly. Her life experiences come entirely from her time at DEVA Babel, which was secluded for obvious reasons. She doesn't know much about the world at all, and doesn't seem particularly keen to worry about it.

 

DEVA - The source of her power, and her burden, DEVA is the ultimate enemy for Seiryoko. The constant fear of DEVA taking over again is what keeps Seiryoko on the straight and narrow. She fears any lapse will give DEVA the moral superiority in their shared mind.

 

Remnants - DEVA Babel wasn't merely a place of experimentation. Most notably were the Reds, as the security forces. They were designed purely to protect and serve DEVA, and they can't be pleased the Arbiter has usurped her position as a host to DEVA, and is using the station as a super-heroic headquarters. Seiryoko knows they'll be coming for her sooner or later, hoping to return things to their ideals.

 

Black Sheep - Seiryoko is well aware that she isn't within the Claremont Academy because she's some tragically gifted teenage super heroine. She caused immeasurable damage and needs to be monitored, and that requires many of the heroes she respects to hold her at arm's length.

 

Lost Child - Seiryoko is effectively a zombie. Her body likely died during her overall upgrading, and it is the mechanical parts that keep her alive. This also means she'll never age. She won't ever grow up, and thus her perspective of the world is skewed.

Abilities: -4 - 2 - 10 - 2 - 2 + 4 = -16PP

Strength: 6 (-2)

Dexterity: 8 (-1)

Constitution: - (-)

Intelligence: 8 (-1)

Wisdom: 8 (-1)

Charisma: 14 (+2)

Combat: 10 + 12 = 22PP

Initiative: -1

Attack: +5 Melee, +5 Ranged

Grapple: +3 (+13 [Fading])

Defense: +12 (+6 Base, +6 Dodge Focus), +3 Flat-Footed

Knockback: -0

Saving Throws: 0 + 0 + 6 = 5PP

Toughness: +7 (+0 Con, +3 Equipment, +4 [Defensive Roll])

Fortitude: - (-)

Reflex: -1 (-1 Dex, +8 [Area Effects] + 2 [Defensive Roll])

Will: +4 (-1 Wis, +6 [+6 vs Compulsion])

Skills: 48R = 12PP

Computers 12 [+11]

Concentration 10 [+9]

Notice 10 [+9]

Knowledge (Technology) 8 [+7]

Knowledge (Cosmology) 4 [+3]

Knowledge (Galactic Lore) 4 [+3]

Feats: 17PP

Defensive Roll 2

Dodge Focus 6

Eidetic Memory

Equipment 7

Evasion

 

 

 

Armored Jumpsuit (Protection 3) [3EP]

Cellphone [1EP]

Commlink [1EP]

 

 

 

DEVA Babel

Headquarters

Location: Earth Orbit

 

Toughness: 25 (5 EP)

 

Size: Awesome (6 EP)

 

 

 

Features - (19 EP)

 

Combat Simulator

Communications

Computer

Concealed

Defense System

Fire Prevention System

Hanger

Holding Cells (Nullify)

Holding Cells (Toughness)

Infirmary

Isolated

Laboratory

Living Space

Power: Regeneration 10 [Recovery Bonus 4, Injured 2, Resurrection 4]

Power: Teleport 10 (Personnel)

Power System

Security System (DC 25)

Workshop

Powers: 30 + 3 + 4 + 27 + 9 + 37 = 109PP

 

Immunity 30 (Fortitude Saves) [30pp]

 

Enhanced Will Save 6 [Limited to Compulsion] 3pp

 

Enhanced Reflex Save 8 [Limited to Area Effects] 4pp

 

Regeneration 27 [Nanomachines, Recovery Bonus 14, Injured 6 (No Action), Disabled 5 (1 Minute), Ability 1 (5 Hours), Resurrection 1 (1 Week)] 27 pp

 

Datalink [Communication 8, Technology; Mental Sense, Limited to Computers, PF: Cyberspace] 9

 

Magi-Tech Array (Array 15, Magic & Technology; Alternate Power 7) [37pp]

Base Power: Damage 10 [Mana Convergence, Magic; Perception Range] [30pp]

Alternate Power: Damage 15 [Charged Particle Cannon, Technology; Ranged, Penetrating PF: Subtle 2, Drawbacks: Full Power, Lethal] [1pp]

Alternate Power: Paralyze 15 [Nervous Shutdown, Technology; Fortitude Save] [1pp]

Alternate Power: Super Strength 10 [Mana Booster, Magic / Technology; Extras: Sustained, Independent; Power Feat: Bracing] - LINKED TO - Damage 7 [Mana Booster, Magic; Aura, Independent, Drawbacks: Full Power, Lethal] [1pp]

Alternate Power: Teleport 12 [Mana Phaser , Magic / Technology; Extra: Accurate, Drawback: Long Range Only, Power Feats: Change Velocity, Progression 4] [1pp]

Alternate Power: Mind Control 10 [DEVA Interface, Magic / Technology; Sustained, Effortless, Limited to Computers and Machines] [1pp]

Alternate Power: Create Object 10 [Object Materialization, Magic / Technology; Permanent, Precise, Progression 4, Stationary, Subtle] [1pp]

Alternate Power: Enhanced Intelligence 30 [Limited to Cyberspace] - LINKED TO - Quickness 15 [1pp]

DC Block

 

ATTACK                                RANGE                      SAVE                                                EFFECT

 

Mana Convergence                 Perception          DC25 Toughness (Staged)                Damage (Energy)

 

Charged Particle Cannon             150'               DC30 Toughness (Staged)                Damage (Energy, Lethal)

 

Nervous Shutdown                     Touch              DC25 Fortitude (Staged)                    Paralyze

 

Mana Booster                            Touch              DC25 Toughness (Staged)                 Damage (Energy, Lethal)

 

DEVA Interface                       Perception          DC20 Will                                            Mind Control

 

Object Materialization                 Area                DC20 Reflex / DC25 Toughness         Damage (Physical)

 

 

Totals: Abilities (-16) + Combat (22) + Saving Throws (6) + Skills (12) + Feats (17) + Powers (109) - Drawbacks (0) = 150/150

Edited March 25, 2014 by Seiryoko

[Thevshi]

Moved this over to character building like I mentioned in chat.  I will work on some comments soon.

[Thevshi]

Okay, to help with other comments I might make, I just want to confirm her nature, is she a true construct now, or just cybernetic?  As was mentioned in chat, if she is a true construct, she would have no Con score (giving you a full 10 points back for eliminating that).

 

Also, please find another image for the character.

[Seiryoko]

She is a true construct, her body, while retaining organs and many human parts no longer functions as a living thing. Many of the more human typed features are synthetic.

 

As far as the picture, what exactly is wrong with it? I need to know so I can understand what to avoid in my archives.

[Aoiroo]

You should choose a picture where the character is like standing and probably wearing more. That type of pic while not exactly indecent isn't really welcome here, and it sort of puts a strained image on your character.

[Seiryoko]

Image updated, then. Hopefully, this one will work better for you.

[KnightDisciple]

To put it another way, that picture doesn't really tell us anything about the character. It's not her heroic costume, or a working outfit. We generally don't encourage pictures of character in sleepwear.

Edit: That updated one is definitely better.

 

For formatting on your powers, might I suggest looking at a few characters around the site?

 

Also, there's a couple of odd indents in your sheet that throw off its appearance a bit.

 

As we mentioned in Chat, having Exotic (Reflex and Will) Saves as low as you do isn't really fun; you run a strong risk of being debilitated in most fights.

 

Again, to annotate a Construct/Fort Immune character, your ability score would be: Con - (-). AvengerAssembled has a few examples in his character-building threads of how to annotate a Fort Immune character.

The same would, obviously, apply to the Fortitude Save itself.

 

This also means the baseline Toughness Save Bonus is 0, not -1. You need Protection, Force Field, or Defensive Roll (which we have houseruled to be +2 Toughness when allowed your Dodge Bonus) to cover your Toughness Save.

 

Personally I would suggest shuffling points to get Protection so that it's "always on", since that will be your only source of that Save.

 

Immunity Aging is, I believe, covered under Fort Immunity, though someone can correct me if I'm wrong there.

 

With Regeneration, it would be helpful to note what Action you've bought it to for Injuries, Disabled, etc. So, can she heal an Injury in a Free or Full Round Action? That sort of thing.

 

I'm unclear on what her "Cyber Vision" does.

 

I'm unclear on the connection between the Datalink and Force Field powers, and would strongly suggest you not put your entire Toughness save in an Array like that. Gizmo did make a build with an array that included a boost to Toughness...but it was also a build that has to toggle between Toughness-shifted and Defense-shifted, meaning the character meets caps no matter what. That might be more thematic, if you want to have her not always be a walking tank.

 

The array is really big and beefy, and while that's not inherently bad, it seems like it's a mix of powers that don't seem entirely related.

 

While the broad theme of "cybernetic construct utilizing cutting-edge technology to harness magical energy" is pretty clear, I'm not clear (from looking at the mechanics) what she might be beyond that. Some of that might be a formatting issue, admittedly.

[Seiryoko]

So, are you suggesting she can have variable defense/toughness caps? I could see it from her character perspective, but it would definitely require a little work to accomplish.

[KnightDisciple]

So, are you suggesting she can have variable defense/toughness caps? I could see it from her character perspective, but it would definitely require a little work to accomplish.

 

Not necessarily. My default suggestion is to not array her Toughness bonus, and perhaps consider making it Protection instead.

[Thevshi]

Okay, as promised Seiryoko, some comments for DEVA:

 

One small thing first, having just previously fought (or even just knowing) the Freedom League is not really what is meant by an affiliation.  She is affiliated With Claremont, because she goes there.

 

So, starting with the crunch elements of the character.  Why are her Stats all so low?  I understand she was a teenager, but she has been upgraded as an artificial person, would not that include increases in strength and dexterity at the very least?  We also have a number of teenage characters that are not so low in their overall stats.  I personally would really rather see more in the way of stats (at the very least baseline 10 in most of them).

 

Tied to that are you Exotic saves (Reflex and Will), they are really, really low, much lower than we typically suggest.

 

In the Combat Block, you have a grapple +3 (you forgot to include your BAB), currently up to +13 when you use the Suprestrength alt power.

 

Feats are generally okay, but I question why she has Evasion?  She is not particularly agile, not to mention her current Reflex save really makes this feat less useful.

 

Also, I would really recommend NOT having all your Toughness come from Defensive Roll, as she is very easy to feint, thus losing ALL her toughness and the majority of her Defense.

 

The DEVA Babel "headquarters"

Well, there are some issues here.

 

First, I count 20 features, not 19, but this is likely somewhat moot by the bigger issue.

 

By making the Babel mobile, is not really a headquarters any longer (as headquarters are supposed to be in a fixed location, even if that location is orbiting the planet), instead it is a vehicle.  I would be okay with you buying the various headquarters features for the vehicle, EXCEPT the powers, as those are priced differently in a vehicle, especially for those that move the vehicle.

 

So, this will have to be reworked in some fashion, either buying it as a vehicle, or removing its mobility.

 

Powers:

Again, some issues here.

 

For the Regeneration, you do not really need more than +9 on the Recovery Bonus, as that will allow you to automatically make any recovery checks (as the DC is only 10).  Also, while we have not prevented no action regen, I would caution you about it.  I personally as a GM find it rather annoying, particularly for constructs.

 

So, the Array....as KD states, it is rather beefy.

First: Mana Convergence: so, this is really a question not something that "has" to be changed, but why is it perception ranged?  That is, why does she never miss with it?  I personally am not a big fan of this type of perception based attack, but other refs would be willing to accept it.  (Also, it makes your attack/damage tradeoff more complex than what you have listed).

 

The Charged Particle Cannon:  So, why exactly is this attack Subtle?  (Also, one rank of Subtle does not make it invisible, just hard to notice (DC 20 Notice check to spot).  Also, I would caution against having it only Lethal, we heavily lean away from PCs killing opponents.

 

Mana Booster:  You do not have enough points in the array for this slot as you have it written.  The Super Strength 10 with Bracing costs 21 pp, leaving on 9 left for the Damage Aura.  You have seriously mispriced the Damage Aura, as it is a +1 Advantage, BUT you have to increase the duration of the damage power to Sustained (a +2 increase in the base cost of the power).  So, even with the Limit: Lethal, it costs 3 pp per rank!

 

Mana Phaser:  The utility of this power is rather limited, as it is not Accurate, which means you either have to be very familiar with the destination or be able to accurately perceive it.  Which means that long range teleports will be limited to destinations you can actually see.

 

Object Materialization: What does the Progression 7 do?  (I assume the size of the objects?  If so, that might be a bit TOO much progression).  Particularly as by making them Permanent, you cannot dismiss them (as you do not have the Reversible feat).  Also, why exactly are these subtle?  (again noting that does not mean they cannot be seen at all with only 1 rank).

 

Accelerate Mind: Not sure I am too keen on this alternate power.  Why exactly does her intelligence get such a huge boost when in Cyberspace?

[Ecalsneerg]

I'd also like to point out that the site's owner has indicated in the past he's not a big fan of magitech characters, preferring magic to be two discrete things (although a Doctor Doom like figure using magic and science instead of magiscience would be fine), and being reluctant to approve such concepts. I'm inclined to agree with him on that.

 

I'm also gonna give you the 'anime spiel'. I'm not saying you'll do any of this, but it's worth saying now first. It is worth noting this is a site based specifically on Western style superhero comics and media. Which means certain anime tropes and plot elements aren't really fair game. The example'd be 'play Mary Marvel, not Sailor Moon'. It's nothing personal, simply a genre thing, and we'd say the same thing if someone submitted John McClain, but as it is, it's called the 'anime spiel' because anime seems to be the form of media which comes up the most.

[Seiryoko]

Alright, I finally think I got the formatting issue down. In addition, I beefed Sei up a good amount, by giving her Enhanced area effect evasion, defensive roll, and making her combat suit into equipment. This gives her a constant Toughness of +3, which while not impressive, allows her some measure of resilience along with her regeneration.

 

I dropped Cybervision, but to explain: Rapid is an enhancement off Super Senses, which basically act as Quickness for that sense alone. She was able to process visual information at x1,000 normal rate with hers.

 

I dropped forcefield entirely, it didn't really mesh. It was basically an idea that I had, when she was linked to something she couldn't maintain the field. But with her new defense style, 

 

 

 

The stats being low are a result of how Seiryoko was used. DEVA isn't a combat unit, and while she is certainly powerful, she never modified Seiryoko to be powerful. Instead her body was used merely to free DEVA from the station, and control the other subjects. As such, Seiryoko's body was torn apart and rebuilt to suit that cause. Since DEVA Babel functions mostly through the data link, the body had to do little more than move around appropriately and process mana.

 

In addition to that issue, DEVA was completely stomped by the Freedom League. The nanomachines in her tried to properly restore her, but they too are clearly stunted from the battle. Part of the story I had in mind was gradually restoring Seiryoko as she gains power points, possibly falling into roleplays where others are able to help her repair herself without accidentally repairing DEVA.

 

The mental issues are mostly due to her confinement within DEVA Babel. She never had the chance to properly grow as a person. The only reason her charisma is so high is because of the years she's been spending resisting DEVA.

 

I don't mind dropping the space travel from Babel, so long as I can maintain the teleport function. That should place it at the appropriate points as well.

 

 

 

For Regeneration, as a construct she lacks the automatic +5 on the check. It specifically states that 14 ranks are needed for an automatic success, was this house ruled away?

 

Mana Convergence doesn't miss, because it appears on top of the target. It literally weaponless the area directly around them and implodes, similar to how a telekinetic 'crush' would work. Because it never misses, it is unaffected by trade offs, hence the Rank 10.

 

The Charged Particle Cannon is subtle because the blast is invisible, although I suppose with a single rank it would still make an air ripple upon being fired. Seiryoko has no desire to kill an opponent either, which is why the ability is typically not used. It is a bit of a Blue Beetle idea, where the technology is most certainly capable of being incredibly lethal, but the user refuses to act on it. I figured I could take the 1 power point hit for that sake. ^^

 

You forgot that Super Strength was downgraded to Sustained - Independent, making is 1 pp per rank. With Bracing, that is 11, although I did seem to forget the Concentration duration phase. I'll add full power, and reduce the Damage to 7.

 

I'll change up the teleport in a moment, I didn't think about that.

 

You are right on the Progression effect, I'll tone it down to about 4. They are subtle, because once created they are effectively real. Subtle 1 makes them completely indistinguishable from real objects, while normal Create Object look like Green Lantern constructs, or something of the sort.

 

Accerlerate Mind is one of my personal favorites. While disembodied, Seiryoko attunes further to DEVA, and actually relies on her guidance. DEVA isn't an evil figure, merely amoral, but it is still a huge gray area for Seiryoko personally. The buff is actually DEVA's scores and abilities replacing Seiryoko's, which is why it is part of the array, as Seiryoko can choose not to rely on DEVA.

Edited March 24, 2014 by Seiryoko

[Thevshi]

Well, if she is not a combat unit, why does she have Enhanced Reflex vs Area Effects and Evasion?  Regardless, I feel the stats are just too low, I believe other Refs are likely to take the same view.  Also, why would Charisma be so high after resisting DEVA?  I would think that would improve Wisdom and willpower?  Based on her background I would think if anything would be low, it would be Charisma, as she is not very adept at interacting with people.

 

For the Babel: well, leaving the teleport for the "headquarters" itself is still making it mobile (and also counts as two features not one).  It could have the teleport system for others, not itself, and remain a headquarters, that would bringing it in line with 19 features.

 

Powers:

Your right on Regeneration, forgot that part (don't really do a lot with Constructs personally).

 

I have to say that I am rather leery of the limited situation increases to both the Will and Reflex saves.  They are 1 pp to improve, I would say just boost the stat completely rather than trying to do so only in limited situations.  (Also, per our house rules, Defensive Roll no longer helps with Reflex saves).

 

Mana Convergence: I do not like perception based TK 'crush' either, and I completely understand why it is only Rank 10.  This still does not quite explain why she never misses.  If you were trying to say "implode" the air around a speedster, how is she able to always perfectly time that when the speedster say is moving so fast?  Why no chance of imploding the air only to have the speedster already have moved away from the effect?  (or any other high defense shifted character)

 

For the Charged Particle Cannon, still do not see why it needs to be invisible, but I suppose that is your choice.

 

For the Mana Booster, need to note that the Super Strength has its duration reduced.  Also, you realize that the damage aura limits the usefulness of the Super Strength, if she tries to pick up anything, say to help people, she will be potentially destroying/damaging that object or person.

 

The Create Object is still a bit problematic as you are creating things that do not go away (and you cannot make them go away either).  (and your right about the subtle, forgot that distinction)

[Seiryoko]

The Enhanced Stats and Evasion are mostly due to how her body acts now. An area effect is indiscriminate, which means it also isn't instant. An explosion has a point of origin, which gives it travel time. Seiryoko's body capitalizes on that time to try to get out of harms way, with the Enhanced Reflexes being due to the vents on her body blasting her a short distance away, and the evasion being a trained skill she picked up in order to better work for her ideal.

 

The reason Charisma is raised, is because it is the strength of her personality. Every time she's successfully resisted one of DEVA's 'suggestions' she reaffirms that inner strength to herself. Over the years it has given her some solidarity. I also never said she wasn't sociable, it is merely her history which causes issues in that regard, real or imagined.

 

I also raised Will for the same reasons. She's grown more capable of handling mental blows, but it is compulsions she's truly shining at. Resisting DEVA has allowed her to resist other mental compulsions just as well.

 

 

 

As far as Babel, it is down to 19 features as it is, since I dropped Space Travel. Though, I'd prefer to have it back at a low rank, rather than the station teleporting itself anyways, wouldn't it still be feasible? I'm pretty sure most Space Stations have some degree of propulsion technology without being ships in and of themselves.

 

I'll drop the Defensive Roll portion from reflexes, but I am fairly partial towards the circumstantial bonuses, in part because I don't really have the pp to toss to them without cheesing up the numbers, but also because I think they fit with the concept I have in mind.

 

Mana Convergence is using the technology built into Seiryoko for that aspect. The effect it causes is limited in size, but instantaneous, so long as she can tell the location at that moment, she can transform the mana to a physical state. Once it is physical, unless they can be insubstantial, there's no means for them to wiggle free from it.

 

The Charged Particle Cannon doesn't need to be invisible. I did that for flavor, but if it bothers you, I can change it.

 

And yes, I'm aware of the drawbacks associated with her super strength, as is Seiryoko.

 

Is a permanent create object not allowed? If that's the case I can certainly modify it. Maybe making it into a weaker Transmutation effect, or something.

[Thevshi]

Inner strength still sounds more like Wisdom/Willpower, but not a big deal, the issue is her stats are too low.

 

My point about how cheap it is to just raise the base saves still stands.

 

As for Babel, no, it is currently at 20 features (you have both types of holding cells, which counts as two, you have improved Security, which counts as two, you also have both types of teleport, which counts as two, and again, makes it mobile and not really a headquarters).  The rank was not the issue, the issue is you get a very large discount in making powers a feature for a headquarters, which is offset by the headquarters being stationary.  By making it mobile, it is now a vehicle, and powers a much more expensive in vehicles, for the very reason they can move around and are more likely to be in a scene than a stationary headquarters.

 

There is nothing wrong with permanent create object.

[Seiryoko]

Of course, it isn't very likely a moon sized headquarters will just show up in Freedom City anyways~

 

Regardless, I removed the teleport.

 

 

 

As for her stats, I've given a pretty good argument for why they need to be what they are. I'm confused on why you are so adamantly opposed, especially after I've already gone and pushed the concept by raising the reflex save as high as I did. I certainly don't have a weak character by any means, and while I could number crunch and get all of what I have while still having a 10 in every save, that wasn't my goal upon creating this character. I don't have much interest in doing that, and I don't see why you guys would want me to.

[Thevshi]

Also, for Teleport, Accurate is an Extra, not a feat.

[Seiryoko]

Fixed, changed it to Long Range Only, in order to accommodate. Dropped Easy and ranked Progression by 1.

[Ecalsneerg]

Just a preface... the constant use of Helvetica makes reviewing and editing an utter pain.

Abilities: -4 - 2 - 10 - 2 - 2 + 4 = -16PP

Strength: 6 (-2)

Dexterity: 8 (-1)

Constitution: - (-)

Intelligence: 8 (-1)

Wisdom: 8 (-1)

Charisma: 14 (+2)

[KnightDisciple]

If the idea is that the character was "damaged" in an initial scuffle with the Freedom League but is still functional...why are they toting around a Perception Range Rank 10 Damage, a Rank 15 Damage, and enough Super-Strength to...I think that gives effective Strength 50-something, which is getting to the point of lifting ocean-going sea vessels.

 

If you want to go with the theme of "damaged but with vast potential", to me it would make more sense to pare down the more exotic stuff, shore up the basic abilities and saves, and then use the justification of "system repairs" as time goes on.