Year_of_the_Fox Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 (edited) Player Name: KitCharacter Name: YukikoPower Level: 10, 150ppTrade-Offs: NoneUnspent Power Points: 0Progress To Bronze Status: 0/30In Brief: Ice-controlling alien lady Alternate Identity:Identity: Yukiko (Earthen-adopted name)Birthplace: Delta Cephei 3Occupation: Computer Repair and Programming, freelanceAffiliations: None Theme: Edited November 18, 2014 by Year_of_the_Fox
Thevshi Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Well YoF, a good start, but there are a lot of formatting errors that need to be fixed before I can really start digging into the build. But, while you do that, there are a few things that you should also fix as well. First, you cannot have a 0 base attack bonus. Per our house rules, at least 1/3 of you attack bonus needs to be base attack bonus, so you would need at least 3-4 for BAB, before adding the Attack Focus: Ranged. Second, could you please remove all skills in which you have not purchased any ranks. Having all those zero rank skills is distracting. Last, in your array, the Hailstorm alt power, homing cannot be used with a general area burst, as there is no attack roll. Similarly, Improved Range does not help either, as that increases the range increment before there are penalties on your attack roll, and there is no attack roll. One minor note, other than your snare, you have no attacks that can target individual targets (the others are area effects), this could be problematic in causing lots of collateral damage. But your choice really.
Year_of_the_Fox Posted November 8, 2014 Author Posted November 8, 2014 (edited) Well YoF, a good start, but there are a lot of formatting errors that need to be fixed before I can really start digging into the build. But, while you do that, there are a few things that you should also fix as well. First, you cannot have a 0 base attack bonus. Per our house rules, at least 1/3 of you attack bonus needs to be base attack bonus, so you would need at least 3-4 for BAB, before adding the Attack Focus: Ranged. Second, could you please remove all skills in which you have not purchased any ranks. Having all those zero rank skills is distracting. Last, in your array, the Hailstorm alt power, homing cannot be used with a general area burst, as there is no attack roll. Similarly, Improved Range does not help either, as that increases the range increment before there are penalties on your attack roll, and there is no attack roll. One minor note, other than your snare, you have no attacks that can target individual targets (the others are area effects), this could be problematic in causing lots of collateral damage. But your choice really. Yeah, sorry about the formatting. I copy and pasted the format from the uh, thread, but it seems most of the problems come from trying to format an underline. Anywhere there's a u /u it doesn't work. I also messed up the formatting for the Array but I don't know where I went wrong other than that so I can't fix it. Regarding the powers: I deleted the stuff from Skills as you said, replaced Penetrating with Selective Attack on Glacial Blast, removed Homing and Increased Range from Hailstorm and added Selective Attack and dropped the rank down to 9. I considered adding selectivity to the weather power but decided against it. I mean it's a blizzard so that'd be a little weird IMO. Never was a fan of making weather-based powers selective. I forgot about the BAB thing. So I dropped Attack Focus: Ranged or whatever down to 7, increased Attack Bonus to 3, dropped Improve Initiative down to 2, Attractive down to one, dropped 2 ranks from Gamble, one from Concentration and one from Search to balance the PP. I also added a little extra fluff. Edited November 8, 2014 by Year_of_the_Fox
Thevshi Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 YoF, you have not yet edited your first post to reflect the edits.
Year_of_the_Fox Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 (edited) I did. I swear. I edited all of that before putting in the fluff, even so I don't know what happened. But I just did it again. Edited November 9, 2014 by Year_of_the_Fox
Thevshi Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Okay, some more comments for you YF. First, one small question fluff wise, if your character is an alien, why does she have an Earth adopted name? Do you plan on having her on Earth instead of out in space? Crunch issues: Combat: You changed your ranks of Attack Focus: Ranged, but did not correct your base attack bonus (it looks like you added the points you meant to spend there to the points you have spent on base defense bonus as well). Your Grapple should be +3 (or whatever your base attack bonus is) Saving Throws: For your toughness, you have +8 from “other†(which should probably be labeled Glacial Armor) Your other saves look fine, though, I have to ask, why does your character have a higher Will save that Fort or Reflex? (You do not need to change this, it just seems slightly out of place) Skills: I am only counting up 48 skill points spent, not 52. There is no Gambling skill. Also, Languages does not have a roll associated with it (so you can drop the +4), instead, you select 4 languages you speak beyond your native. (We have created a language Galstandard as the widespread trade language spoken in a large part of the known galaxy). Feats: What are Prehensile Feet and Wolf’s Ears from? And what do they do? Powers: In the array for the Transform power, what is the broad group of things you can transform to ice? (“Things†is not a definition of a broad group). For the Summoning, precise does not do anything for that power. For the Create Object, 9 ranks of progression is far too much. That makes each cube 5,000 feet in size! I would suggest either buying more ranks of Create Object (which could not have the Impervious extra) or maybe add precise and some other feats as well. You also need to fix the point totals spent on each category in the total toward the bottom of the character sheet.
Year_of_the_Fox Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 (edited) Okay, some more comments for you YF. First, one small question fluff wise, if your character is an alien, why does she have an Earth adopted name? Do you plan on having her on Earth instead of out in space? Crunch issues: Combat: You changed your ranks of Attack Focus: Ranged, but did not correct your base attack bonus (it looks like you added the points you meant to spend there to the points you have spent on base defense bonus as well). Your Grapple should be +3 (or whatever your base attack bonus is) Saving Throws: For your toughness, you have +8 from “other†(which should probably be labeled Glacial Armor) Your other saves look fine, though, I have to ask, why does your character have a higher Will save that Fort or Reflex? (You do not need to change this, it just seems slightly out of place) Skills: I am only counting up 48 skill points spent, not 52. There is no Gambling skill. Also, Languages does not have a roll associated with it (so you can drop the +4), instead, you select 4 languages you speak beyond your native. (We have created a language Galstandard as the widespread trade language spoken in a large part of the known galaxy). Feats: What are Prehensile Feet and Wolf’s Ears from? And what do they do? Powers: In the array for the Transform power, what is the broad group of things you can transform to ice? (“Things†is not a definition of a broad group). For the Summoning, precise does not do anything for that power. For the Create Object, 9 ranks of progression is far too much. That makes each cube 5,000 feet in size! I would suggest either buying more ranks of Create Object (which could not have the Impervious extra) or maybe add precise and some other feats as well. You also need to fix the point totals spent on each category in the total toward the bottom of the character sheet. 1: An Earth-adopted name eases the stress from being an outcast from her home by way of minor dissociation from it, and it's a way of helping people be more comfortable with her alien origin. For example, if you met an alien, you might be a little more comfortable around one being called Ben instead of Slartibartfast. Sortof of like why Ford Prefect went with his name while on Earth. 2. Yeah I forgot that it changes the Grapple too and I might have forgotten to change Attack. Chalk it up to me being too distracted to notice - busy day 3. Same as 2. busy day. additionally, she's more mentally-driven than physically. her +10 to toughness is a byproduct of the evolution of her species as opposed to physical training of some sort which would be why Fort and Ref are at 7 4. Was going off of 2 in Hero Lab. changing Search to 8, HA to 6 and Linguistics to 5. will fix PP totals after this post 5. will add Galstandard with the +1 to Linguistics 6. Prehensile Feet is a part of biological makeup - part of being able to walk on ice/snow on her home planet. Wolf Ears are described as ranked 1 super senses extended hearing. I can switch it to a power with the biological descriptor if you'd like, same with switching prehensile feet to aditional limbs 1 7. I just wasn't sure what to put there, the last game I used that with I didn't get flak for it so I never bothered changing it. nonbiological matter perhaps? 8. I put in 'precise' as a way to describe her attention to detail when sculpting the summon's appearance as it were. it's just a 1pt fluff detail so I thought it'd be okay, even if it technically does nothing 9. This is the one I forgot to put Precise on. I'm dropping Progression, Object Size down to 6 and adding Precise, Tether and Stationary if that's alright 10. OK Side note: Added the languages she knows under Extras, and why she learned those particular languages. Edited November 9, 2014 by Year_of_the_Fox
Thevshi Posted November 12, 2014 Posted November 12, 2014 Okay YoF, sorry about the delay on this, busy weekened, busy start of the week and us trying to get the Event underway. Anyway: Fluff: now that I look at it again, your history is a bit sparse, could stand to be expanded some. How did she end up on Earth? How did she come to decide to use her powers to fight crime, etc? Combat: You still have not corrected that you have spent 6 pp on +3 BAB and 12 pp on the +6 BDB. Skills: I now count 51 ranks of skills, not the 48 ranks you list. You will either need to drop 3 ranks somewhere or move another pp from somewhere else (and have 1 rank left to spend). Also, in your fluff, you mention she works as an Electrician, but she has not skills to do so (ie: Craft: Electrical at the very least, maybe some ranks of Kn: Technology as well). Feats: Prehensile Feet: Yeah, this is not going to work. If you want to be able to avoid the penalty of walking on snow/ice, you need to buy ranks of Super Movement (Sure Footed), maybe with the flaw (only snow/ice). Wolf's Ears: Same thing, buy this as Super Senses (Extended Hearing). Powers: Flash Freeze: Yeah, nonbiological objects would work. Ice Creatures: well, you can "make" the summons as detailed as you without precise. So please just drop the feat. Ice Shapes: Progression: Size 6 is still extremely big (1,000 foot cubes, or up to a 10,000 feet), I think you would get a lot more out of dropping that down to 2 ranks and buying two more ranks of Create Object (for a total of 12).
Year_of_the_Fox Posted November 12, 2014 Author Posted November 12, 2014 (edited) Okay YoF, sorry about the delay on this, busy weekened, busy start of the week and us trying to get the Event underway. Anyway: Fluff: now that I look at it again, your history is a bit sparse, could stand to be expanded some. How did she end up on Earth? How did she come to decide to use her powers to fight crime, etc? Combat: You still have not corrected that you have spent 6 pp on +3 BAB and 12 pp on the +6 BDB. Skills: I now count 51 ranks of skills, not the 48 ranks you list. You will either need to drop 3 ranks somewhere or move another pp from somewhere else (and have 1 rank left to spend). Also, in your fluff, you mention she works as an Electrician, but she has not skills to do so (ie: Craft: Electrical at the very least, maybe some ranks of Kn: Technology as well). Feats: Prehensile Feet: Yeah, this is not going to work. If you want to be able to avoid the penalty of walking on snow/ice, you need to buy ranks of Super Movement (Sure Footed), maybe with the flaw (only snow/ice). Wolf's Ears: Same thing, buy this as Super Senses (Extended Hearing). Powers: Flash Freeze: Yeah, nonbiological objects would work. Ice Creatures: well, you can "make" the summons as detailed as you without precise. So please just drop the feat. Ice Shapes: Progression: Size 6 is still extremely big (1,000 foot cubes, or up to a 10,000 feet), I think you would get a lot more out of dropping that down to 2 ranks and buying two more ranks of Create Object (for a total of 12). Fluff: If memory serves correctly, it's expanded upon in the HellQ and the Origin Story Vignette, I took the opportunity to fill those out while I was waiting. I added a summarized version of why she's on Earth to her History, I just felt heavy details would be better-reserved for that since it's all nicely-organized there. Combat: Fixed Skills: Part of me was still operating off fo 3e instead of 2e which explains why I had put so much into Computers, but nothing into an Expertise. So! I added knowledge: Technology and specified her to working in computer electronics and software design which is what I intended in the first place (thought it in my head, didn't specify it on paper. Oops!). Double-checked my math, it should now be 52 ranks for 13 PP. Feats: Sure, except I need full ranks since it's in relation to her character.. soooo I... removed her immunity powers altogether (one of them was redundant anyway), I dropped Wolf Ears and lowered the load for Ice Slides to Light (you shouldn't be carrying so much weight on ice slides anyway! It's just impractical.) Skils: Sure. Dropped Precise. Dropped Object Size to 2 Misc: I made all numerical changes and checked my math again. Also, I found out what oopsie I made with Hailstorm: I mixed up Homing and Secondary Effect again (the idea being that it's like a small, localized hailstorm that lasts for a couple of rounds). But I didn't change Hailstorm at all after removing homing so nothing's changed with that Further changes: Dropped Sure Footing down to 3, added Craft (electronic), recalculated ranks and PP totals, removed English, Korean and Chinese (Mandarin) from her languages list, switched her story from her being based in Sol 3 to being based in Alpha Centauri 2 Edited November 14, 2014 by Year_of_the_Fox
Avenger Assembled Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 An interesting concept! Not sure why it would be Japanese she learns of all terrestrial languages. It would be helpful to write up what you've done with Alpha Centauri so that we can have it for the wiki. I will be back here when TV gives you that first approval!
Thevshi Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 Okay, I think you are almost there YoF. But you still have prehensile feet in feats, so need to correct that. Also, you totals at the bottom of the sheet to not take into account your current total spent on powers.
Year_of_the_Fox Posted November 16, 2014 Author Posted November 16, 2014 (edited) An interesting concept! Not sure why it would be Japanese she learns of all terrestrial languages. It would be helpful to write up what you've done with Alpha Centauri so that we can have it for the wiki. I will be back here when TV gives you that first approval! Sure, I can whip up something for Alpha Centauri no problem and PM it to you. Also when it came to cultures that are still around that have also been around for along time, that have a rich culture and history, and have a large focus on science and technology, the country that fits all of those criteria for me is Japan (I'm sure there are others too). Since finding out about Earth's place in the galactic stage, I'm changing the reason she's interested now is because how tightly-bound their culture and their technology are. I mean they built a to-scale version of the Gundam and they're working on 13ft mech suits that work and are piloted. Check it out, it's pretty cool Okay, I think you are almost there YoF. But you still have prehensile feet in feats, so need to correct that. Also, you totals at the bottom of the sheet to not take into account your current total spent on powers. I was gonna keep Prehensile feet but I'll change it to give a couple more ranks in skills. Edited November 16, 2014 by Year_of_the_Fox
Thevshi Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 Well the point is you do not have that point for it anyway. Your current total spent on powers is 63 (not 62 as you list in the totals at the bottom). You correctly list only 18 pp in feats (taking out the prehensile feet), so correcting the amount spent on powers to 63 (along with everything else) equals 150 pp. So you need to drop prehensile feet, correct the amount of feats to 18 and correct the total for powers at the bottom to 63.
Year_of_the_Fox Posted November 16, 2014 Author Posted November 16, 2014 Well the point is you do not have that point for it anyway. Your current total spent on powers is 63 (not 62 as you list in the totals at the bottom). You correctly list only 18 pp in feats (taking out the prehensile feet), so correcting the amount spent on powers to 63 (along with everything else) equals 150 pp. So you need to drop prehensile feet, correct the amount of feats to 18 and correct the total for powers at the bottom to 63. It's always the small numbers I seem to miss when I make small adjustments, but it's fixed. And just to be extra-sure, I went through and double-checked everything on the post, against everything on my sheet.
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