ic Dirty Rotten Scoundrel

[Supercape]

GM

 

January 2nd 2015, Late Evening...

 

Lantern Hill Police Station...

 

Not a big Police Station, not a popular shift. A spooky shift, even, being so close to the graveyard. The police got by on strong coffee and grim humour. And gave the hobos, the lunatics, the goths practicing black magic, and the vandals pretty short shrift. If their police station was a little crumbly and a little drafty, then so were the cells. 

 

This latest arrest was a new one, even to them. They didn't know whether to call a psychiatrist, a doctor, a lawyer, or doctor metropolis. So they called the weirdo. 

 

Yeah, you know, the weirdo new Lawyer in Freedom City. And in Freedom City, calling a lawyer a weirdo was pretty stiff competition. Why, they already had "the Revenant" down in the Fens. But this guy was seven foot and blue and green and looked like a freak. 

 

Well, they said, lets try him out. 

 

And so they made the call...

 

"We got some nut jo...I mean, we made some arrest, Some young woman, looks like some hippy environmentalist, you know what I mean...I mean, yeah, some decent protesting woman, sure...*ahem*...well, she is just gibbering, saying that they dumped something in the graveyard. Said the dead rising. Well we get that a lot on lantern hill, especially on April Fools day, if you know what I'm saying. Thing is, her eyes have gone totally green....we don't know what to do with her, so, we thought given you are...err...a bit...well...err....well....anyway, could you come and help?" asked the poor duty officer over the phone. 

[caelcormac]

Jason said, "I'll be right there." to the officer on the other line and hung up. The comment about the woman's glowing green eyes had ranked him but surely that cop didn't know him well enough to jerk him around with that. It was annoying to get a call so late, but this kind of case is what Jason had signed up for when he decided to partner with Aaron Lundgren. Plus it wasn't as if his social calendar was packed full in the evenings. Or ever. With that in mind Jason hopped in his old pickup truck and made the drive to Lantern Hill.

Upon arrival at the precinct Jason paused at the door to check his tie and make sure his sunglasses were on properly before walking in. He pushed the door open and did his best to ignore the fact that everyone was either openly staring or pretending not to. He made his way to the processing desk and said, "So I here you have a case for me?" to the officer on duty. He made what small talk he could as he received his file and was led to the tiny interrogation room where his client waited, taking care to glance at her name before going in. He smiled at her as he sat down and said, "Good evening Miss Marigold, my name is Jason Stack. I'm your attorney, and I'm here to help."

[Supercape]

GM

 

"Evening ah..Mister Stack...Sheesh you are a big ba.." started officer Groat as he opened the door to the huge lawyer. He was interrupted by officer Grime, who cut short his expletive. 

 

"Mind yourself in there, sir - she is a bit of wild one - we had to tazer her...twice..." he said, grimly. 

 

Miss Marigold was in handcuffs, wild and bedgraggled. Dark skin, although not fully black, unlike her hair which was coal and silk. She was a little short, a little sleight, but had a kind of wiry determination to her. On another day she would have been fairly attractive in a wild, hippy way. This day she looked like she had been dragged through a hedge backwards. A mess, a bruised and cut mess, and a smelly one at that. 

 

And yes, her eyes did glow green. Pulsing green. 

 

"Get away from me! I have been infected! infected!" she screamed and Jason. "They are dumping all sorts of chemicals in Lantern Hill! Illegal! Poison! Toxin! Look at me! Look at me!" she shouted, her voice raw from exertion. Her movements were jerky, wild, and her wrists raw from trying to escape from the handcuffs. It looked like she belonged in a straight jacket, and one would pity the straight jacket that she wore. 

 

"Get me out! Get me out! Stop it! Stop it! Argh! I can feel it! I'm burnniiiing uuuupppp!" she shouted even louder than before. 

[caelcormac]

The truth of the matter was that Jason had stepped into the room hoping to be disappointed. He was hoping to find a normal, if a bit over excited, woman sitting across the table from him. But there she was with glowing green eyes as promised and upon closer inspection he could see something crawling through her veins as well. Not what he was hoping to find, but in a way they made how to go forward a little bit clearer.

“Take a good look at me Miss Marigold. You can see I’m a little different from most lawyers. Whatever has happened to you will not bother me, I promise.†said Jason. Of course, he was certain of no such thing, but it wouldn’t do for her to think she might infect him with something. “It’s at this point people like me usually say something like ‘calm down’ or ‘relax’ or whatever but I think it’s pretty clear that you’ve got something to be excited about. Now I want you to get ready to tell me everything, from the beginning, but there is something I need to take care of first.â€

With that, Jason returned to his feet and went over to the door, staying inside the room so that his client could still see and hear him. He called to an officer for assistance and once one arrived started in on his demands. “Firstly, I’m going to need a list of formal charges against my client.†He said, holding up a finger to illuminate each point, “Secondly, once I have that list I’m going to need you to call for medical assistance. This woman clearly has a medical condition of some kind and detaining her without proper care is both negligence and a violation of her civil rights. Thirdly, if you are not charging her you will instead bring me the form for her release. Fourthly, if she isn’t being charged she is not a prisoner so I will need her to be released from her handcuffs.†Jason then paused and waited for all of that to sink in. He waited until the officer tried to mount some sort of response but intentionally interrupted him with “Well what are you waiting for?! Get to it!†and then turned to sit back down across from his client. Badgering the police was familiar territory, and Jason had to make sure not to smile as he sat down.

He turned back to his client, “I’m sorry about that Miss Marigold. Now why don’t you tell me what all of this is about?â€

Edited January 5, 2015 by caelcormac

[Supercape]

GM

 

Officer Groat snorted his coffee up his nose as Jason Stack Reeled off his demands. "What? Who? Where?" he babbled before sneezing out his coffee, a few nasal drips landing on Jason's suit. 

 

"Err..yes...sorry...right on it..." he croaked, red face, and scuttled off. If scuttling was an Olympic sport, surely Officer Groat would have one the two dozen yard Scuttling Gold. 

 

As Jason turned back to Miss Marigold, he could see that the green had covered her veins everywhere, pulsing. Her eyes shone like beamlights. 

 

"Its...its about dumping...ack...illegal and...dangerous...ack...biowaste...in...Latern...Hil..." she whispered hugging herself desperately. 

 

But her hugs were no good. She exploded. 

 

That is, two dozen green tendrils errupted from her body, which went into a all out spasm, limbs flinging everywhere, and then started to shake uncontrollably. Miss Marigolds body did nothing but loll and shake, but the green tentacles that had sprouted from her whipped and slashed all around the interview room in an uncontrollable frenzy!

[Supercape]

GM

 

Meanwhile...

 

Ulysses awoke. 

 

The air had that kind of chilly heat, the smell of oil and grinding metal. The Spirit of Industry, blind and insistent, was around him. 

 

Wrong! Wrong! Right the Wrong! All Metal and power and machine and city will fall if it is not stopped!!! Stop the Green parasite!! It will infect everything!!!

 

Roared the spirit of industry in his head, enigmatic, brief, direct, and forceful, just as she was. 

 

And then a sense of speed, of thundering wheels and steel on steel. Of air and land whistling past him. 

 

And in a jolt, he was outside Freedom City Lantern Hill Police Station, of old brick and loose mortar. And just in time to catch Officer Groats scream. 

[Exaccus]

<Ah helen of troy, here we go again....>

 

Ulysses had found having a voice inside his head was disorientating and highly inconvenient, especially when its urgent messages bounced around in his skull like the ringer of a bell  and it could send him places entirely without his consent, he counted himself fortunate that for the most part the spirit with apathetic and not particularly prone to violence when not sufficiently provoked by people or events as it clearly had been by this "green parasite." malarkey, with good reason too if  the shrill scream was anything to go by.

 

taking the brief moment to ensure his hankercheif-cowl was in place and his hat was firmly on, he barges through the door and rockets towards the source of the commotion with hardly a thought, though this time of his own volition.

Edited January 6, 2015 by Exaccus

[Supercape]

GM

 

As Ulysses bursts into the Police Station...

 

What scene meets his eyes? It was a quiet night, relatively speaking. A drunk hobo mumbled to himself in one cell. A emo goth girl paced up in down in another, arrested for disturbing the peace and gravedigging, a foolish teenage prank with the occult. 

 

"What the bloody hell is going on?" asked Officer Grime responded to Ulysses bursting into the station from one door, and Officer Groats screamed, pulling his gun in a fumbling terror as he witnessed, through the window of the interview room, the horror of the Green Fungus sprouting from a fitting body. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Ulysses and Officer Grime could not see into the interview room, but it was pretty clear from Groats' screams that something awful was happening. 

 

Officer Grime decided to pull out and cock his shotgun...

[caelcormac]

Jason looked down at the drops of coffee that Groat sprayed all over his suit and frowned deeply. He sucked in some air to explain at an entirely reasonable volume how expensive the custom-made suits he was forced to buy are and how the entire precinct should feel a sense of deep, personal shame that it harbors an officer who can’t keep drink a cup of coffee without spraying it all over passersby but when he looked up from the stain all he could see was the officer’s backside as he scuttled around the corner with alarming speed. Jason let the air out with a sigh and thought to himself that he’d need to find a good dry cleaner. After all it was just a little coffee stain. He turned back to Marigold and sat down.

He listened to her erratic explanation and saw that she was not doing well, having wrapped her arms around herself and in obvious pain. He reached out to try and place a comforting hand on her shoulder and tell her he was going to get her some help when he was rocked by the explosion of slime and tentacle that erupted from the poor woman’s body.

“Great Scott!†shouted Jason as he lept to his feet. The coffee stain was now the least of his worries as he was covered in a putrid smelling grunge. He would have to weep for his suit later though, right now he had a tentacle problem. Jason stood his ground, waiting for a tentacle to get close enough to grab as he shouted, "Can I get some help here? And some Roundup?â€

[Exaccus]

"Woah there, son i come in peace, heard a scream, thought you folks could use a bit of help." ulysses responds, raising his hands up in surrender "Not looking to cause you trouble like, heard there was something about a green parasite?" he asks remaining as calm as sensible for a man with a weapon levelled at him could be expected to be as he slowly edges towards the door "Not looking for a fight with the FCPD but it looks like you've got one on your hands." as he slowly approaches the door "Going to go in their now and help contain whatever it is causing grief for you...please don't shoot me."  and with that he turns and makes for the door the cry for assistance came from.

 

"We can talk more after if you like." he yells over his shoulder as he goes

[Supercape]

GM

 

The might fists of Jason Stack gathered up five...six...seven tentacles into bunches, and wrestled the fitting body to the floor. Ms Marigold was frothing green sputum as she shuddered. He could feel an itchy burning on his palms...the green tendrils were poisonous on top of everything else!

 

The three remaining tendrils (was it three? they whipped so furiously it was hard to count...) thrashed around aimlessly, until they paused for a moment, flung back, and then struck Jason like whips of iron. 

 

By the fates they were strong! No thicker than a mans wrist, but with a very very real strength!

[Exaccus]

Ulysses recoils in suprise and if he's completely honest slight disgust as the fungal tentacles before him, though a brief glance at the seizure ridden woman brings up enough sympathy to overpower it and with only a slight grimace he approaches the woman and steadying her with one hand, sweeps powerfuly down and diagonally, severing the putrid pseudopod in a swift gesture, and brings his arm around to support the woman even as his skin turns red and itches fiercely.

 

he turns to face the blue gentleman in the once no doubt lovely suit "Ah, sorry it took me so long, had a bit of bother with the chap outside." he says calmly "Everything under control now?"

[caelcormac]

The burning, itching feeling on his palms told Jason that grabbing this thing might not have been the best idea. He could feel the angry red welts forming on his hands and he knew he was going to need an entire bucket of aloe vera when this was over. His only respite was that the tentacles that were now hitting him in the face didn’t seem to be quite as poisonous but they did make it hard to talk.

“Miss…*thwak*…Miss Margold if there is anything you... *thwak* * thwak* * thwak*...can do to help me I’d…*thwak* appreciate it! *thwak*†Jason shouted, unsure if the woman could even hear him or reply with the way she was frothing at the mouth, but it was worth trying if she could get these things to calm down somehow.

And then, when it couldn’t get any crazier, someone else burst into the room. A train conductor! Jason has no time to decide whether or not he’s hallucinating when the man smashes the fungus and the tendrils stop trying to beat him to death. He keeps a firm grip on the ones in his hands and turns to the man. “She needs some kind of medical attention.†Said Jason, pointing at Miss Marigold with his elbow. “Other than that I think we’re doing ok.â€

He then turned towards officer Groat standing there and fumbling with his gun. “What do you think you’re doing? Stop pointing your gun at my client and get her a doctor!â€

[Exaccus]

Ulysses sighs slightly in relief "i really hate mushrooms." he says with a slight shudder "gross things they are." as he regards his hands " and this one in particular seems to be parasitic and poisonous. this poor lady's had it inside her..i imagine her everything aches and itches like our palms do right now, if not worse.." he says giving the lady a reassuring pat on the shoulders as the scuttling officer takes her off his hands.

 

"Ulysses is the nom de plum." extending his unblemished hand "i was following a lead on a "green parasite", seems like i came to the right place." gesturing with his red hand as the now limp tentacles "definately green and parasitic." he states matter of factly more to himself than the blue gentleman "how about yourself sir, you a consultant for the cops?" having been too busy trying to wipe his hand off at on the walls to be hearing him say "client" at the time.

[caelcormac]

Jason looked at the offered hand and held up his own, showing off the thin coating of gunk and the bright red welts. "I hate to be rude but I'm going to have to take a rain check on that handshake until I've at least washed my hands." he said. "Anyway I'm not a consultant, I'm that poor woman’s court appointed attorney. The name's Jason Stack, I'll give you my card just as soon as I'm sure it won't make you break out in hives."

"I'm not sure what brought you here Mr. Ulysses I'm glad it did. I don't know how long I would have had to wrestle that thing for if you hadn't come along. Yank you." Jason continued as he made his way out into the hallway and towards the men's room, indicating that the older gentleman should follow and continuing to talk. "Miss Marigold was picked up by Freedom's finest for disturbing the peace. She'll walk of course, or this place will get hit with a negligence lawsuit so hard the walls will shake, but she was saying something about being infected at the graveyard. I was thinking of having a little look-see, since the cops around here seem to have better things to do."

[Supercape]

GM

 

"What in darnation just happened?" said Officer Grimes, brought to the two heroes by the more panicked Officer Groats. He hefted his shotgun as if he was disinclined to use it. On the other hand, the sight of Officer Groats sweaty palms on his revolver would bring anxiety to all but the surest of hearts. Or the bulletproof. 

 

"Have we got some kind of contamination here?" he asked the pair. "Don't you worry about Ms Marigold. Charged dropped" he explained, tearing up the paperwork in font of Jason's eyes. "I got bigger fish to fry that a bit of loitering. Like some damn alien fungus invasion!" he finished, almost shouting the words. 

 

"From Mars!" he added after a small beat, for effect. 

 

"Are we infected? Are you infected? We need a damn quarantine? I'm not worrying about whether Ms Marigold walks. I'm worried about what she walk on!"

 

"Wha--what---infected---wha--?" said the sweaty Officer Groats, wobbling his revolver at everywhere. "I don't want ta turn into that! Get away! Get away!" he said, waving his firearm around at everybody. 

[caelcormac]

And in an instant, the relief Jason felt at having survived wrestling with the…whatever it was vanished. The cops were looking at him like he had any idea what the hell that was, and one of them was waving a gun around like a maniac who was probably either going to hurt himself or even worse put a hole in Jason’s suit. Some days you just can’t win.

“The answer to all your questions is ‘I haven’t got a clue’. My card says ‘Attorney at Law’ on it, not ‘Mycologist for hire’.†Said Jason, his voice betraying the impatience he was feeling with the two officers. He then paused, taking a deep breath to center himself and turned to Officer Grimes and doing his best to move between him and anyone else he might shoot with his pistol.

“Officer Grimes. A tragedy has befallen this poor young woman, entrusted to our care by the vicissitudes of fate and the laws of our great city. We have no way of knowing what may happen without consulting a professional. In the meantime, could I possibly convince you to put that gun away? I doubt it will help and besides, if you accidently hit Miss Marigold you just might release spores into the air or something.†Jason said to the man. He thought tag-teaming his sense of civic duty with his paranoia was a good play, he just hoped he wasn’t laying it on too thick.

[Supercape]

GM

 

"Spo---Spp--Sp-Sp-Spores?" said Officer Grimes, white as a sheet. 

 

His gun tumbled out of his hands onto the floor. He looked at it like it was a hand grenade. 

 

"God help me, I don't want to turn into one of those things!" he proclaimed to all and sundry. Despite Jason using words of a more obscure background such as Viciissitudes he had got the broad brushstrokes of the speech. 

 

Officer Groats picked up the gun and emptied the shells onto the floor, giving his colleague a dirty look. 

 

"I never thought I would say this to a lawyer but; what can we do to help, Sir?" he said politely. 

 

"Ya can all get me out of this here cell before I turn into a mushroom!!!" screamed the Emo girl, to the enthusiastic grunts of the drunk hobo. 

[Exaccus]

Ulysses had found he wasn't the most charismatic of talkers so he was rather thankful that the more suave gentleman in blue stepped forward to handle the issue, having been a little spooked by the idea of becoming a mushroom himself he could empathize with the cowering policeman to a degree, though he hoped he'd have a touch more control over himself it was always hard to tell outside of the moment, doubly so with a powerful spirit rumbling around in his skull.

 

"Iff'n you'll be excusing me, gentlemen im going to go wash up...maybe stick my hand in a fire for a bit." he muses as he turns to leave, regarding the young lady with a raised eyebrow on his way out "Huh, i thought you youngin's like the mushrooms, what with your Marios and your Super Nintendos." he states out loud before continuing on his way "Guess I'm out of touch....though i applaud you, winners don't use drugs." he states matter of factly as he heads towards the mens room.

[Supercape]

GM

 

"You'll get out when I say you are out, little madam" replied Officer Groat, stiffly, to the Emo girl. 

 

"I really don't like the sounds of this. Damn invasion of the mushrooms body snatchers from Mars. Thing is, that Ms. Marigold, she was snooping around the graveyards in Lantern Hill. We get plenty of those, like that girl over there..." he said, indicating the Emo girl, who stuck her tongue out at him. "Communing with the dead, Satanism, you know the sort. Some people even get a kick out of more carnal activities in a graveyard" he shook his head, disgusted. 

 

"But she did say she had found some chemical dumping on the graves. Figures. Nobody would bother too much about poisons and chemicals when its a damn Graveyard already..."

[caelcormac]

Jason watched Ulysses wander off while muttering about mushrooms and Mario for some reason, and after a moment of bewilderment called after him. "You wouldn't mind hanging around for a bit once you've cleaned up would you? I might need some assistance again if you're willing."

He then turned back to the officers to take stock of things, ignoring the loudmouth girl in lockup for the moment. He was getting far more involved than he probably should, but what else could he do? He wasn't about to let officer trigger happy handle things. After a moments thought he looked at Officer Groat and asked "I don't suppose you can tell me where she was picked up, or where she's been can you? Once I'm sure Miss Marigold gets some medical attention I want to go and have a look."

[Supercape]

GM

 

"Sure I can drive you up. We are used to spooky out here..." agreed Officer Groats. 

 

Miss Marigold was a different problem altogether though. After several minutes grumpy conversations over the phone, the Officer slammed the phone down. 

 

"Change of plan folks. We are quarantined...they are sending an infectious disease unit up here. Nobody gets to leave the police station, or enter it, without there say so..."

 

Ms. Marigold herself was laid out in a police cell, her seizures had at least stopped. The green tinge to her eyes and veins had not. If anything it was getting worse. 

 

"You...you have to stop it...its growing...roots....if you don't stop it now then...." she mumbled, before tensing up in a tonic seizure and falling unconscious again. 

[caelcormac]

“You know officer, I’m not exactly certain that whatever Miss Marigold ran afoul of can wait.†Jason said as he watched Miss Marigold have her second seizure. He was thinking of all of the ways that the people responsible for this could be sued in lieu of, or in addition to, any criminal charges that might be brought up. But to do anything he couldn’t be trapped in here.

Jason tried to think of a legal precedent that he could use to slip out of the quarantine. He knew here was one, it was right on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t think of it. He wished his partner Aaron was here, he’ would have thought of it. He’d need to think of some other way of getting out, preferably without just smashing his way out of the door and becoming a fugitive. Thankfully Officer Groat seemed to be willing to listen to reason. Jason reached up and made sure his sunglasses were secure, he didn’t want to have to try and explain that his eyes were already green before he arrived at the precinct.

“Whatever is out there is certainly getting it’s hooks in more people as we speak and it is best to act quickly.†Jason said. He paused for effect, and to make sure he had the attention of the police officers, “Now, I of course would never ask you fine officers to abandon your posts during a time of crisis. So here is what I propose. Speaking for myself, I have been packed so full of strange things that have changed my body into its current condition I am extremely resistant to any further invasion. I am sure my new friend Ulysses can give an explanation on why it is safe for him to leave as well. Furthermore, we intend to go back to ground zero as opposed to out into the rest of the world where we can infect others. Let us go, let us start getting this contained, and send the infectious diseases people along behind us.†It was a pretty good speech he thought, and he probably should have let it end there, but he couldn’t help but add as an aside to Groat, “Also, please keep track of any symptoms you feel or any medical expenses you incur as a result of tonight’s excitement. And keep all your receipts.â€

[Supercape]

GM

 

"Shoot, I reckon you just might be right" said Groat, scratching his neck and leaning his shotgun against his shoulder. 

 

"Which puts me in a straight bind. I ain't allowed to let nobody leave this here police station. Quarantine, damn it" he said, angry at the situation. 

 

"But if what that there Ms Marigold said is true, sounds like a Quarantine ain't gonna save Freedom City" he sighed, despondent. "Which ever way you cut it, my ass is on the line"

 

He slammed his fist against his desk. 

 

"So to hell with it. I believe the suit on the phone said I shouldn't let anyone out of my sight" he said, grinning in defiance. "So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm driving you two fellas up to Lantern Hill Graveyard, and you two promise to stay in my sight" he said, grabbing his patrol car keys. 

 

"Help yourselves to torches and spades. Yeah, we impound a lot of the latter" he sighed, despairing of the occult youth gravedigger scene...

[Exaccus]

Ulysses emerges from the washroom, having given his hands a bit of a thorough wash, resorting even to using some of the steel wool he'd found left out, not all that sure it'd helped but it made him feel better to have scraped his palms with it, emerging in time to hear the officer's offer of shovels and torches.

 

<Talking seems to go so much better when I'm not around...> he laments to himself.

 

"I think i might take you up on that offer, Officer." he pipes up as he gets within indoor voice distance,"handy thing a shovel is, saved me from leaving coal dust everywhere when i was in the engine cab."