Jason Stack

[caelcormac]

***Late at night on basic cable, during the next commercial break***

The scene opens with two men each leaning on a large desk. The one on the left is a normal if a bit thin man with perfect hair and a wide if a little bit forced grin and is exactly the sort of person you expect to see in one of these commercials. The one on the right has the same forced grin but is hardly who you expect: he's giant, blue skinned, and muscle-bound. Both of them are in sharp suits and power ties and the set behind them is a couple of bookcases packed full of leather bound books. It looks like every other generic 'legal office' that's ever been on a late night add.

"I'm Aaron Lundgren." says the man on the left.

"And I'm Jason Stack." says the big, blue man on the right. "Together we're..."

"Stack and Lundgren, Attorneys at Law." they finish in unison. The speech of both men is awkward and stilted, they are obviously reading from cue cards.

"Have unforseen events damaged you, your home, your vehicle, or other personal property?" asks Aaron.

"Does a difficult to explain circumstance prevent you from claiming insurance benefits or other compensation?" asks Jason.

"Do you have legal difficulties that are difficult to understand or even explain?" asks Aaron, his grin looking more forced by the second.

"Then you need to call us, Stack and Lundgren, Attorneys at Law." says Jason. A 1-800 number in yellow block letters appears on the screen.

"We're your best defense." the pair says in unison, trying but failing to sound enthusiastic. As the screen faded to a cheap logo over a silid blue background an announcers voice rattled off a disclaimer before rattling off the phone number a dozen times and ended the commercial with "Call Now!"