Mea Culpa (IC)

[Electra]

"I'm trying not to think that way, though," Stesha admitted. "I was wallowing pretty heavily in the nostalgia right after everything happened. Like everything was so much better then, I wasn't so busy all the time, I was still creating art at the flower shop, I had... I had Derrick, and I had a bunch of close friends and a social life, but then it all gradually just dropped away. But that's not really true." She stroked a hand over Ammy's curls, then used a napkin to wipe chocolate from the little girl's face, despite her protests. "I have gained so much that I would never have had if things hadn't changed. Now I make art on a scale of acres instead of in a vase, and the work I do saves lives. And I have friends here, and on Prime, and on FL-Aux. And I have Ammy, who would make up for the rest of it by herself." She grinned fondly and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Okay, bathroom time, and say goodnight to Taylor." 

"Moooooooooom!" Ammy immediately whined. "I'm not tiiiiired!" 

"The faster you lay down, the faster you can get up again," Stesha cajoled. "And I know you want to play with the bees this afternoon."

Amaryllis huffed in great frustration, but slouched over to Taylor. "I have to take a short nap," she announced to the visitor. "After that, you and me can play, okay?" 

[alderwitch]

Taylor nodded thoughtfully, her legs crossed at the ankles as she pivoted to look at the little girl. She scooted off of her seat and bent to give Amaryllis her full attention, her eyes crinkling at the corners in amusement as she agreed solemnly, "I promise. Why don't you think of what you want to play after your nap and when you get up, we'll play. Maybe we'll even see if we can get my son to come join us. You might not remember him but you used to play together when you were little."

JJ, at least, had learned that the ladies of Stesha's family were not good for biting early on and these days he was much, much better behaved. 

She straightened as the girl was collected by her doting mother and leaned back against the cozy kitchen counter as she fiddled the dark amulet at her throat between her fingertips absently, "You're right about that. Besides, one never knows what the future brings."

At least Taylor hadn't lost her knack for sliding cryptic mystic commentary in like it was normal conversation. "Have a good nap, Ammy."

[Electra]

"I'll be right back." Stesha escorted her small daughter back toward the bedrooms, leaving Taylor with wine and milk and cheesecake all to herself. The house was very peaceful, if slightly on the warm side; its rustling leaves and occasional dapples of sun through the windows making it very akin to resting under a tree on a summer afternoon. Well, with more appliances, anyway. In the back room, Stesha and Ammy's voices were faintly audible as they talked, then sang a song. After about five minutes, Stesha came back out. "So what are your plans for now that you're back? Besides the kids thing, what are you going to be doing?"

[alderwitch]

Taylor, for her part, was sitting more or less where she'd been when Stesha had left, not moving or even breathing. With her eyes closed, she could have been an incredibly lifelike statue perched on Stesha's kitchen stool. When her eyes opened at Stesha's voice, the color had bled away, leaving a white glow that faded as she refocused on Stesha's features. Taylor took a breath that was audible, animating her body once more as she let her brief scan of the surrounding area and any potential weaknesses fall away. Never one to be idle, Taylor had made use of the time she'd had to do at least a cursory scan. From the relaxed expression on her features, she'd found nothing of great concern. 

"I don't fully know. Pick up where I left off before, I guess," her voice was dubious and she didn't try to hide it, "The apprentices I've trained are off doing their own thing and I think most of the heroes I knew well are gone or absent from Freedom City. Not to mention, my history with working on teams is not... spectacular."

She gave a little shrug of her shoulders then, the gesture uncomfortable, "Go back to solo work, I imagine. Check up on the entities who might be of concern and ferret out any new ones. There's no shortage of problems in our line of work so I'll keep busy. I've never had a problem keeping busy."

[Electra]

"Yeah, more like there aren't enough hours in the day," Stesha agreed, returning the milk to the refrigerator and pushing Ammy's plate into a large flower. "But just because the Knights of Freedom went down in spectacular flames doesn't mean you're not designed for working on teams. Not every team has a vibe that works. You could always apply to the Aux League," she suggested cheerfully. On the counter, a small bush began to grow, unfolding leaves and branches, then flowers. "Getting paid for the hero work definitely doesn't suck. And maybe you could help me corral the jackass vampire colleague I've been having to work with this past year," she added, her voice teasing. "And there's always new kids coming up through the schools, looking for mentors."  

[alderwitch]

"I think most of the techniques I've mastered for coaxing vampires are, perhaps, situationally specific," Taylor said, her voice dry and laughter lurking in her tone. Her cheeks dimpled with amusement as she added, "And likely to cause arguments if I attempt them on other stray vampires. Have you tried hitting him with a small end table from across the room?"

With low laughter, she slid off her stool to walk over and offer her help in cleaning up the few plates that had been dirtied, carrying them over to Stesha. "I liked working with the Midnighters. We were more compatible in general but I'm not sure I'm League material."

Her voice was dubious, her fingers tightening once on the plate before she released it to Stesha with a small shake of her head, "I don't know. Maybe? I'm not sure how well I'd mesh. Or how reliable I could be, with all the other demands on my time. What I do has always cropped up in the past as a problem for teamwork in the past. As to mentoring, I think Huang would be a small puddle of teenage humiliation if I show up at Claremont."

[Electra]

Stesha gave Taylor an arch look. "I went to the same school with my five older siblings, the school that my father taught at. A little humiliation is good for the adolescent soul," she opined. "But you could always summon the magic students to you, do it full Phantom-costume style and intimidate them a bit. It'd be a good test to see who's got the courage to be a good hero anyway, right?" She turned her attention to the little bush on the counter, which immediately began producing copious amounts of cheerful red berries. "It's good that you're back," she told Taylor, her eyes still on the plant. "I can't help but think we're overdue for some kind of reckoning from the Terminus. Lots of rumblies from them in the past few years, but no actual attacks. That's not going to last forever." 

[alderwitch]

"Hrmmm...." This time, it was definitely a full on Phantom noise that echoed out of Taylor's throat as she paused at that, pulling back from where she'd been standing as her fingertips went up to the Eye at her throat. Twisting the dark jewel on its ancient chain, Taylor went quiet for a long, almost uncomfortable pause as she considered Stesha's worries. Even if Stesha hadn't spent the last few years in the major leagues, Taylor would have given her words weight. With all that she'd seen and done. "Hmmm."

"I'll look into it," Taylor promised after she weighed the possibilities. Her fingertips still moved over the gem at her throat like it was more worry stone than necklace, "And you might be right. It is not... outside the bounds for my patron to have shaken me out if She thought that there was great need rapidly approaching. Heshem can be... heavy handed at times."

To say the least.

"Even if I don't end up on your team - or any team - I'll come if you have need for my particular skills," she offered then, finally letting the stone drop to its familiar place around her throat. "If you need me, I'll be there." Taylor paused for a moment and then amended, "This time." 

[Electra]

Stesha winced visibly at those last words, closing her eyes for a second. The pretty red fruits began to wither and dissolve away as though in time-lapse, leaving green seeds to drop to the countertop with a soft clatter. "I couldn't believe you weren't even around," Stesha muttered at the counter, not able to bring herself to look up. "I called and I went to your house, but you weren't there and nobody knew where you were. I thought maybe something happened to you, maybe you were dead, and I hadn't even known it. And it was just one more weight thrown on top of everything else, what a crappy friend I must have been." She blinked hard, clearing her eyes of any traitorous moisture. "I know you had your own stuff going on, and I understand, and it makes sense what you had to do. But it hurt really bad." 

[alderwitch]

"I'm sorry," Taylor said again, a little helplessly and certainly uncomfortable as she winced away from the stab of guilt. Taylor's capability to handle other people's emotions was never the best, per say, but out of deference for how very badly she'd screwed up, she soldiered on with her hands hovering like she wasn't sure if she ought to hug or pat Stesha and couldn't decide on either. Her hands fluttered in the air, hesitant as she stood there next to Stesha, uncertain how to help but determined to try. She owed Stesha that much. "I know that doesn't help but I really am sorry that I hurt you. I honestly didn't consider that you'd blame yourself. I didn't consider much at all."

"You've never been a crappy friend in your life, Stesha. Not once," Taylor sighed then and let her hands fall finally to her side limply. "I have been and I'm sorry. I won't make the same mistake a second time but I understand that it'll take time to believe that."

"Do... you want to throw something at me? Or yell maybe?" Taylor said after a long moment as she rocked back and forth on her feet. She doubted it - Stesha had never been the sort to tend towards bursts of violence - but as Taylor generally retreated to anger first and foremost as her safe emotion, she was taking a shot in the dark. "I could stay solid for it, I'm pretty sure. If there was something I could do to show you how sorry I am, Stesha, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

[Electra]

That idea made Stesha laugh, a ragged, sorry-sounding thing, but at least a laugh. "No, I don't think that would help," she told Taylor. She gathered the green beans from the counter and put them into a cup, then started rummaging around inside one of the big flowers on the counter. "I think I just need time to process," she admitted. "It's kind of a lot to take in all at once, and there's a lot of emotions to work through. But I do forgive you, I swear."  With a small noise of triumph, she pulled a hot air popcorn popper from the flower, poured the beans into it, and plugged it in. Within a few moments, the air began to smell faintly of coffee. "It's just taking some parts of me a little longer to catch up. We're okay." 
 

[alderwitch]

Taylor offered a hesitant smile in return, her lips curving up and some of the tension easing from the stiff set of her shoulders. Laughing was good. It was better than crying by a significant stretch. She rocked on her sneakered feet once more, her hands lifting as if she wasn't sure if now was the hugging time or not. Hugs, by and large, were like a game of double dutch that Taylor could never fully remember the rules for. Outside her very small family, she just wasn't that demonstrative and so she stood there uncertain about the whole timing of the 'we're good' hug. 

"I'm glad we're okay," she said somberly, "It's also if fully okay takes a while to get to. I have time."

She smiled then, the expression easing the lines of tension on her face. "I've always found that throwing things helps me feel better but I am, perhaps, not the best role model. It's a trait I've really had to reign in with a teenager in the household. They are fearsome things, teenagers."

Taylor paused then, "...are you making coffee popcorn?"

Edited August 29, 2015 by alderwitch

[Electra]

That got another chuckle, one that sounded considerably better than the last, as Stesha put an arm around Taylor's waist for an affectionate half-hug. "Roasting coffee beans, if you can believe it. They're growing coffee over at the monastery and roasting it in a proper roaster, but it's caught on in a big way. I don't want to deprive anybody of their share when it's almost as easy to do it myself. I looked it up on the internet," she added proudly. "Four minutes in this thing and they're ready to grind. Tastes pretty good, too! I think I've had about as much wine as my system can tolerate right now, but coffee with cheesecake is just as good. Want to try a cup?" 

[alderwitch]

Taylor was both relieved at the easing tension and that the hug was initiated without her having to continue to guess whether it was hugging time at not. The tension went out of her shoulders at last and she slumped a bit in place. "Coffee sounds great."

Not that she needed to eat OR drink but the habit was comforting, especially as it gave her something to do. She leaned her hips back against the counter and watched with mingled fascination and uncertainty about this particular bout of kitchen wizardry. "I've expanded my cooking skills a bit as the kids are still eating - and eating a ton, I might add - but this is a bit beyond me. It really works?"

Taylor moved to ease herself back onto the stool then, settling in for a more.... unfiltered chat since Amaryllis was napping. "Actually, Jack has too but its a bit harder, I think, as he can't taste what he's trying to make. His first go at cookies was really something to see..."

With that, Taylor launched into one of the lighter-hearted stories of the time she had been away. Bridges had begun to be mended and more delicate subjects could wait for another day.