ic Exes and Ohs

[Avenger Assembled]

"Oh, well, that was a lot of vodka, pardon me, ladies, gentlemen! I know I should not comport myself so but here I am doing such comporting!" Comrade Frost walked right up to the bottom of the dias and took a knee, a gesture that actually cost him nothing given his own preternatural abilities. "Your pardon, great sir, it seems I am at your feet. Just a moment to gather my composure and I will be gone." Catching sight of Ace, he shot the familiar face in the brand-new disguise a wink. There was no use alarming Ace, who knew trouble when he saw it. "Oh, I love this country, but it has so many troubles. Do you know there is crime among peasants even in fancy estate like this? What a calamity! And things here looked so nice." Sliding off his knee, he stretched his legs out beneath him and cracked his back, looking as though he was settling down for a casual sit. 

[Gizmo]

Erik briefly considered slipping in the shadows alongside Talya but with all the necromantic energy in the air egging him on he doubted he'd be able to stay still for long, even assuming everybody in Vampire Land didn't have amazing night vision in the first place. Instead he cracked his neck audibly and followed after Dimitri with long, sure stride. "Hey, how's it going." His greatcoat kicked out behind him in dramatic fashion and his movements conveyed predatory grace. "Don't worry about him, we've been crashing parties all over the place all damn night and honestly I didn't really want to go to begin with. Nice pants." Looking back out from the dias he gestured with a thumb. "There's probably a really great story here and all but what I want to know is if the groupies out there are with you or if I get to stab something. Have to." He shook his head roughly and ran his tongue over the front of his top set of teeth. "Have to stab something. Man, that's a lot of magic, huh? Hoo!"

[angrydurf]

ACE  

 

Ace's brow raised up a tick at the two mens entry.  It certainly was not what he had been expecting but surprises were the spice of life were they not, and things were definitely getting spicy if he read Eriks commentary correctly.  With a sweeping gesture to the scantily clad blood dolls he answered in turn, "These are a, gift, of the Queen of this domain."  he turned up a nose at one comely young woman, "And also poison to our kind."  he said with the appearance of real distaste and a pointed glance at Frost just in case the Frosty Vampire got any bad ideas.

 

"I worry though travellers, My Bride." he indicates meaningfully, "is not as appreciative of visitors as I."  he looks toward the balcony from which they came, "She has concerns I might get cold feet and run off with the old gang."  he explains with a nod and surveys the room frowning slightly, "Well we can hope any other unexplained visitors will take priority."  he suggests  with a shrug as he notes some of the blood dolls have decided to gather the wherewithal to run off to the guards.  "You may get your wish soon than expected."  Ace suggested to Erik and glanced at the men in turn, "I don't suppose you happen to have an expert thief with the second greatest legs of her generation with you?"  he inquired with care, "I really ought fetch my effects if we're to use this chaos to effect our escape."  he pointed to the heavy vault door on the far side of the room.

Edited June 18, 2016 by angrydurf

[alderwitch]

Talya flipped the baton over in her hands as she considered whacking Ace upside the head for that crack alone. Second greatest legs, indeed. She was pretty sure they could abscond with Dimitri holding Ace over one shoulder. There was no mistaking the perturbed silhouette of Talya as she reappeared - thankfully at the vault door and not bludgeoning Ace about the head and shoulders. "You are SUCH an ass," came the testy British voice as she bent over to spin the dials on the massive vault door. Reaching up, Talya pulled a slender silver pin from her curls and inserted it between the tumblers with a deft touch despite her muted outrage. "And no one is going to agree with you, either. D'you have any idea the sort of trouble we've gone through to get here? I threw up on an Amazon's potted plant. Dimitri has bled all over the multiverse."

 

The tumblers tripped over as she spun the last dial into place. "And Jack's not stabbed a single soul yet. I have half a mind to let him start with you. Ace Danger, you are the most insensitive and asinine of creatures."

 

She straightened then, spinning around to prop her hands on her hips, in full on scold, "'Second best', indeed."

[Avenger Assembled]

"Who has best legs?" asked Dimitri, sitting up with his hands on his knees. "Is it me? Damn." He was on his feet now and moving, scanning off the balcony carefully with his cold red eyes. He'd acquired along the way an empty champagne flute which he waved around for emphasis, making it look to any sharp-eyed observers below that he was simply drunkenly gesticulating. "Is not so bad, met all sorts of fancy people, made myself unwelcome in yet another bordello, waved a gun around, was honestly pretty interesting." He turned back to Ace and said seriously, "Danger, if you have anyone you need evacuated, you need to get them moving. This dimension is awash with more foul necromancy than most vampire Earths, and such things catch, especially with the three of you and your living bodies - this is not a place I intend to tarry." 

[Gizmo]

One gloved hand pressing into the bridge of his nose, Erik made a rough sound through gritted teeth as he forced himself to focus. "Dios, it's like the taste of high pitched evil laugh being injected into my eyeballs. Hnngh. Count again, Corncob." He lowered his hand, revealing slightly dilated pupils but otherwise he seemed to have regained most of his equilibrium for the moment. He cast a significant look toward the Englishwoman, brow creased. "Talya should not be here right now. We need to get home so Min can kill me for not talking you out of this." He hadn't really worried much about what combination of powers the twin may or may not be inheriting but if they had any element of his mystic sensitivity...

 

He gave Talya a faltering smile that failed to be as reassuring as he wanted. "You can tell I'm worried 'cause I'm not even contributing to the legs and ass conversation. Ask me again later; I'm sure I'll have opinions." Jogging over to the unlocked vault he called to Ace, "For the record I'm kinda mad at you too but this seems like a 'get in line' situation. What are we bringing?"

[angrydurf]

Ace  

 

Taking in the newly revealed Talya, Ace performed an almost comedic double take at her expanded form.  Not much surprised Ace Danger these days and Talya could rest comfortable that she'd managed to.  "You love me!"  Ace shouted with a grin as his eyes slid to Dimitri and then to the floor with some uncertainty, "I assure you Dimitri I am not responsible for that."  he intoned somberly weight shifting to the balls of his feet as if at any moment he expected to be encased in a block of ice and dropped in the baltic, it seemed dimitris protective older brother routine was not so new dynamic in the thief and vampires relationship.  Though without immediate violence being offered he mercurially shifted once more to his normally flamboyant self.

 

"No no nothing so interesting as evacuees old friend."  Ace assured Comrade Frost with a curt nod, "I came here quite by accident, overcharged void resonator and all that."  he explained away his impromptu trip with a shrug.  The immortal adventurer regarded Eric curiously but didn't waste further time trying to puzzle out why the scintillating swordsman had joined this venture.  "Oh you flatterer."  he  casually flirted as he followed into the vault and began pulling down assorted artifacts and devices from prime, "Just need to gather my effects."  Ace explained as he dug through the vaults contents, "The dark mistress of these lands is most interested in expanding her empire."  he offered, "Best not leave anything to ease her passage further than her singular nature already does."  Ace cagily indicated shrugging into his weathered bomber jacket.  As he affixed the trademarked hat atop his head he looked toward the large doors separating this room from the rest of the castle and smiled, "Well if you still want to make with the stabbing, and I know you do, opportunities will soon be ample."  offered with a weak grin as he indicated the likely arrival of guards at any moment.

Edited June 25, 2016 by angrydurf

[alderwitch]

Talya glanced from her work at the slight grunt of discomfort from Erik, her concern well masked but present nonetheless, "Considering the way you're looking, I imagine there will be blame to go around," was her drawled response. When Ace passed the thief, she reached out to flick the back of his hat and tip it into his eyes, "That would be the longest pregnancy on record, you ass. I haven't been pregnant since your month long party in the nineteen seventies."

 

The fact that Talya did not point out Ace's unsuitable nature as a parent despite her obvious pique might have been a hint to the nature of their mission - or at least her sensitivity to such matters. She wasn't one to miss a salvo in verbal skirmishes, after all. There was plenty else, however, to focus on at the moment but Talya paused by Erik's side, "We're all fine for the moment. Well, someone is kicking my ribcage in outrage but that's not exactly new. Dimitri, my love, how long d'you think it'll take to get home? How much time do you need bought, if Ace and Erik buy you a window?"

 

[Avenger Assembled]

"No no, is that fellow there that did it," said Dimitri, pointing right at Erik when the subject of how Talya had come to be pregnant came up. "Well, I suppose it takes two," he allowed, before joggling Ace in the ribs with his elbow. "You missed great to-and-do! Even had old revolver out. But we will dicker on such things later - and on how now the debt of saving from angry woman with horde of undead is paid, eh?" He winked at Ace as he reached into his parka and went to work. The artifact out, he knelt before the statue with knife in hand, once again all business. "Minutes. Less if you can get me the blood of other vampires. The fell curse on this land is most unpleasant." 

[angrydurf]

GM Post  

 

As Ace had predicted it hadn't taken long for the enthralled blood dolls to alert the guards to the stranger's arrival.  On the heels of Dimitris words the doors into the spacious apartments were flung open by liveried guardsmen whose pallorous flesh spoke of a ready supply of the blood the frosty vampire required required should one find a way to extract it.  "Seal the Gates!"  went up the cry as they took in the scene of the 'prisoner' being freed by his allies and the open vault being raided by the interlopers.  One, apparently a leader judging from the size of his hat,shouted into the hall, "To the Queen, her prize makes its escape!"

 

His call was nearly drowned out by shattering glass as the masked infiltrators earlier spied by the heroes made their own entrance crashing through the windows followed by a tall oddly familiar shadowy form that seemed to direct them.  Pointing directly at Ace he growled darkly, "Imposter.  You and your mistress will not so easily escape our wrath." 

[Gizmo]

"Three, if we're diluting blame anyway," Erik quipped, making an exaggerated show of rolling his shoulder and cracking his neck as the room was filled with a variety of hostile locals. Doing a quick headcount he snorted. "Hold off like three dozen chuckleheads between them for a few minutes? Feel free to sit this one out, Ace; you look a little rusty." He let out a single long breath as he turned to the closest group of figures, evidently the quickest responders among the guards. The smirk that slid onto his face was feral, all bared teeth and dismissive confidence. "We're honestly doing you a favour taking this guys off your hands," he called brashly an instant before he exploded forward like a coiled spring. "Probably not going to feel like it, though!"

 

As one foot pushed off of the tile floor deep purple flame just a shade away from ultraviolet roared down his arm from his shoulder to engulf his fist. As his arm drew back the vicious magics surged along a curving path, solidifying into a broad blade that hooked backward to extend its cutting edge. With so much power of such distinct character so readily available the flickering sword took on a polished sheen, crystalline flames forming a spiked hand guard and ornate pommel. Then he was upon his targets, a whirling blur of violet and royal blue. A beat later he stood with one boot atop a pile of five vampires, beckoning their comrades to come try their own luck.

[angrydurf]

Ace Danger  

 

Ace side-eyed Erik for a brief moment at the revelation of his part in Talyas condition and clearly weighed the worth of opening that can of worms now or later and reluctantly had to acknowledge the arrival of the natives of the realm in force took precedence, if only just.  "I'm sure we can buy you -"  the timeless adventure replied in part before Erik so generously suggested the old man take a breather.  Eyes narrowing he shook his head muttering 'Rusty indeed' under his breath as he followed the dashing dualist into the fray or at least fray adjacent.

 

Throwing his voice with vaudevillian flair he called out, "Avengers!  In the Keep!  they're trying to free the Consort!" followed by further rabble rousing calls to arms against the threat pulling those guards nearest the invaders attention away from the heroes for the moment at least.  Tipping his hat to Jack of All Blades he wryly shrugged, "I'll try not to throw out my back."  With a piercing whistle he waved down the attention of the brooding giant directing the masked avengers, "Imposter?"  he scoffed with false offense, "Hardly,"  Ace intoned haughtily and glanced back into the vault, "I got us access to the vault didn't I?"  he pitched as if an ally, "Took you long enough to show up but your timing is as always impeccable."  the words seemed to set the masked vampire back on his heels as he tried to place what myriad plot this might tie too.  One thing about vampiric politics anywhere Ace had been was they were needlessly byzantine, a trait that might just buy them some time before the master vampire entered the fray.

[angrydurf]

GM  

 

Answering Aces false call to arms the guardsmen charged into the fray against the invading rebels with a clash of enchanted steel on steel as the opposing forces clashed in a running battle through the room and up and down the walls vampiric speed and might meeting in move and countermove.  The guards closer to the greater threat however were not so eager to leave the deadly swordsman who felled their comrades unguarded and moved to attack with a volley of bolts form wrist mounted crossbows penned the agile hero in as their cohorts closed to test their sorcerous blades against the master swordsman.  Even with his mobility compromised by the covering fire only one blade scored true weaving through his defenses to strike home.

 

The Masked Avenger of this realm faced off against Ace wary and mistrusting but intrigued, allies to his cause were rare enough that such potential could not be ignored after all, "And what interest would I have in her blasphemous artifacts and profane tools of blood magics." he growled darkly.  "If you wanted my attention you have gained it."  the Vampire prince acknowledged reluctantly, "Pray your offer is worth my time."

[alderwitch]

"That it is, Mitya. That it is," Talya agreed as she laced her fingertips over her midsection and vanished into the store-house of creepy vault goods. "Did he say 'blood magic'? I think its downright rude to leave without a souvenir, don't you? If I was an evil necromantic vampire sorceress, d'you think I'd keep blood in a cask or a jug?"

 

There was the fainter sound of rummaging underneath the din of combat. "Yuck, well, that's not good anymore, clearly." Talya's voice floated out before she reappeared nudging a small cask along with one booted foot as she lugged a small chest in her arms. Surely something in there would be of moderate use to Dimitri in mixing magics. That or he'd blow them all up with it. She did pause however to briefly admire Jack's posing atop a heap of vampires, "See, I miss out on these sort of moments lately. Though it's better when he's somehow managed to lose his shirt halfway through the adventure, I have to admit."

 

She offered the chest to Dimitri who was perhaps less likely to appreciate the heroic swath that Jack of all Blades cut through the vampires. 

[Gizmo]

Jack of all Blades spun with the slash he couldn't fully sidestep in time, turning what was meant to be a decapitating strike into a thin, superficial ribbon of red showing through a rip in his shirt from right shoulder to his left side. He slipped his arms from his greatcoat in the same fluid motion, leaving the royal guardsman who had just proven to be the most skilled among his peers struggling in surprise with the swath of fabric threatening to engulf him like a tarp. Before he could sort himself out Jack's empty hand snapped out in lightning quick jab through the coat and directly into the vampire's face. With a grunt the guard was already falling to the floor as the swashbuckler planted a booted foot into his chest, using him as a springboard into the air.

 

The next guard closest to his right run-through with necromantic magic in a downward thrust while he was still trying to figure out where the intruder had gone. Jack used the momentum to fling himself into a tight spiral parallel to the marble floors that ended in a scissor kick that crossed two more names from the list of immediate threats. The remaining two vampires recovered from their surprise with predator's instincts and lashed out only a moment too slowly, their strikes swinging over the metamagi's head as he dropped low to the ground. One more streak of hungry violet fire left them disarmed and clutching their empty hands, another added to the growing pile of undead.

 

Locking eyes with the few guards canny enough to have let their comrades charge in first, Jack gripped either side of the tear in this shirt and ripped it apart to hang in tatters at his waist, exposing arms sheathed in lithe muscle and a torso of thin white lines intersecting with trickle of blood, punctuated by a handful of puckered bullet wounds. "Come on then, you guano hearted amateurs!" he shouted, arms thrust outward like a gladiator calling to a coliseum full of blood thirsty spectators. "At least make this interesting! Fight! Me!"

[Avenger Assembled]

"Hey!" said Dimitri, snapping his fingers as he pointed at the masked Avenger. "I know this fellow! What small worlds we live in!" He didn't say aloud what he was thinking, that evidently Faretti's date with vampiric destiny happened in many a world. 

 

"Thank you, Talya, this should provide the needed components..." He took the chest from her and snapped open the lock with a casual show of strength, then cracked the lid with a nod of satisfaction. "Hmm." Pulling the top off the bottle inside, he sniffed it experimentally, then took a quick swig. "Ah-hah! Well, someone is gourmand in this fancy estate!" he declared, taking the open champagne bottle full of blood and dumping it out directly over the idol he'd been working on, spilling it out until he was kneeling in a large puddle of almost malignantly bright red blood. With that, he began rubbing his fingers across the idol, tracing weird figures in the blood that covered it. 

 

"Remind me to donate to some orphan charity when we return. Seems fitting." 

[angrydurf]

Ace  

 

Maintaining his front as a co-conspirator Ace flashed an easy smile, "The keys to the kingdom, the tools of binding upon her most loyal thralls, the hearts and souls of her vanquished foes, the fell artifacts she draws upon to command the realm."  ace encouraged exuberantly, "There isn't much time surely they'll be rousting her from her meditations we must be prepared to strike!"  the Danger scion hammed it up in the style of the old school villainy, perhaps a bit overmuch but he seemed to still have the Vampire on the line for the moment.  With a flourish he produced a small gilt box, "And of course there is this,"  Ace revealed as he tapped it thoughtfully, "Surely this catches you eye, you do remember don't you?"  he intoned with care, "The heart of Dracula preserved and secured."  Ace smiled, "The keys to the kingdom indeed, the lives of all of Draculs brood in our hands."  Ace laughed maniacally as he held out the ornate chest.

 

Of course those familiar with 'Ace Danger and Pandoras Box' would easily recognize the prop for what it was.  Very pretty but mostly made of pop up card stock.

[angrydurf]

GM  

 

The gregarious fencers challenge was answered, his words drawing the assembled guardsmen to charge him with fervor if not great skill.  The clumsy blows rained down around him but Jack of All Blades handily avoided them.  Meanwhile the battle between the guards and rebels continued, the guardsmen slowly gaining the upper hand, the Rebels continued to fight valiantly but with their leader distracted from the fray they would not last long.  The guardsmen's numbers dwindled as well though more slowly discounting the waste laid to the livriend enforcers by Freedoms own scintillating swordsman.  In The distance the sound of the alarm being truly raised rang through the halls, it would not be long now before more guards or worse the realms dread mistress arrived.

 

Despite the tolling of the alarms Avenger remained fixated on the artifact of supposed power that Ace held out.  "Hand it over and perhaps we can deal."  he finally growled as he crossed the room in a blur of vampiric speed to loom over Ace.  "What do you want for your part in this then?"  the vampire prince grudgingly inquired.

[alderwitch]

Talya didn't applaud but she might have considered it, "And now my day's complete," she commented off handedly to Dimitri before she briefly ghosted off to retrieve Erik's discarded coat from where it was tangled around one of the vampiric goons. Wouldn't want to leave it behind after all. It was iconic. Draping the coat over her shoulders to keep track of it, she returned to Dimitri's side, carefully sidestepping the runes in the process. Distracted from watching Erik in his element, she tuned into Dimitri's comment enough to make a face. "Mercy."

 

Her blue eyed gaze skimmed the court yard, finally landing on the box that Ace was proffering. "I don't mean to rush you, Mitya, but apparently Ace has decided to run his Pandora's Box gambit on an angry vampire. I think we might be on the clock now." As if they weren't before.

[Gizmo]

The last of the guards attempting to attack Jack fell to the ground, laid low by a vicious headbutt that was both showier and more bluntly violent than was strictly necessary. Laughter with an unusual edge rolled from his upturned lips as he turned to watch Ace and who he assumed was some version of Faretti. The necromantic sword pulsed dangerously in time with his facing heartbeat and he blinked rapidly while running his free hand back through his hair. "How we doing, Corncob?" he called to Frost, hesitant to get any close to Talya until he'd had a moment to get himself back under control.

[angrydurf]

Ace

 

Ace glanced over the Vampires shoulder to where Jack of All Blades handly dispatched the last of his foes, "Nothing more than a place of honor at your side."  Ace answered with a too easy smile, "You could rally this realm to your cause I am almost unknown, I need you."  He seemed to admit as he pulled the box back teasingly.  Of course this Jack Farretti had no need of him, as was the plan all along.  The silk tongued immortal continued his ploy keeping attention on himself as the other battles drew to a close.  The vampire prince none the wiser still that he was being set up, Ace maneuvered himself to keep the undead creatures attention firmly focused weaving the box as if afraid it might be snatched away his only leverage against the vampires.  "So do we have a deal?"  Ace finally asked as he came to a stop box clutched protectively to his chest.

[angrydurf]

GM  

 

Across the room the guardsmen finished off the last of the invading rebels and began to withdraw to the approaching sounds of reinforcements.  Time it would seem ran short now.  Eriks head pounded as a wave of necrotic power washed over hte castle the mistress had been alerted to her prize's attempts to escape and she gathered the dark powers of this place to herself like royal raiments a swirling mass of death incarnate Erik could feel grow ever closer through his strained metamagi sense.

 

The not!Avenger tilted his head at Aces last words as if considering then in a surge of speed snatched the box from Aces grasp.  Holding it aloft the vampire laughed a haunting echo of mirth, "But if I have the heart what need I of you?"  he intoned darkly.  "With this I could command all of them."  he growled in triumph as he looked down to examine the contents and howl in outrage, "What is the meaning of this!"  he bellowed as he flung hte week old baklava to the floor and the cask atop it, "You think this some game!"  he loomed threateningly over Ace who had delicately manuvered the vampire exactly where he wanted him.

[Avenger Assembled]

Dimitri was all business now, crouched over the idol and chanting in guttural Old Norse, mixing his own blood with the blood of weeping orphans Talya had been kind enough to collect for him. As he chanted, the air around him grew more and more cold, the blood on the ground freezing solid in strange, spiralling lines that matched the runes he was tracing on the surface of the idol. "Travel will take us to Earth-Prime but may pass through other realms first!" he called, having found a backdoor around the protections surrounding this plane. The easiest would have been Nifleheim but he wasn't taking a pregnant woman to the realm of Hel without any better choices. 

 

"Suggest you all prepare yourselves."

[Gizmo]

"More of a full contact sport!" came the answer to the masked vampire's growled question, though the one-liner was probably muffled somewhat by the boot crashing into his face as Jack leaped through the air. The local version of Faretti was as strong and quick as the swordsman was expecting but he was given no chance to recover his balance as the blaze of purple flame struck agains and again. The necromantic energies left deep cuts on forearms hastily brought up to block and sliced at his legs to keep him from finding his footing. A two handed thrust sent the blade clean through the undead meat of the vampire's shoulder, its wicked curve burning on the way out as well as Jack danced back just out of immediate reach. "Oh, hey, take your time, Corncob, sure!"

[angrydurf]

GM  

 

The masked vampire let out a hiss of pain and outrage as the swashbuckling swordsman's blade scored deep and twisted in his undead flesh.  Straightening the mask displaced by the fencers booted foot good hand the dark avenger of the night growled low, "This isn't over."  eyes full of malice, eyes all too familiar to Erik Espadas though he knew this man as a friend, at least of sorts.  His form slowly grew hazy as this worlds Jack Faretti called upon his vampiric legacy and faded to a floating pool of mist.  His growled warning hanging in the air as he beat a hasty retreat his vaporous form carried up and out of the room on silent winds.  Around the room roughly half the fallen masked vampires followed suit as they staggered to their feet only to fade to mist and float away into the eternal night.