Removed. Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 (edited) MannequinPower Level:10 (150/155PP)Unspent Power Points: 8Trade-Offs: ±0 Attack / ±0 Damage, -2 Defense / ±2 Toughness In Brief: A scientist who has lost it all and closed themselves off from the world literally. Catchphrase: Built from scratch. Theme: Bynn The Breaker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wh2HgBRRPs Alternate Identity: Mannequin (Public) James Horridan(Secret)Birthplace:Freedom City Residence: Uptown Freedom CityBase of Operations: N/AOccupation: Head of R&D for Vision IncAffiliations: Vision IncFamily: His mother Mary,his boss Jimmy at Vision Inc. Description:Age: 27 DoB: 1990/23/3Apparent Age: N/aGender: MaleEthnicity:CaucasianHeight:8,2ftWeight:365PoundsEyes:N/AHair:N/A Mannequin is made up of sleek alabaster white segmented joints joined together on ball joints, chains, and electromagnets. His face has near blank features sans the shallow indents where the eyes would be. The only remotely human thing still left of him is his brain inside his chest cavity, beyond that everything else is robotic. History: James Horridan cursed at the pain of getting out of his bed. For as long as he could remember his body has been all but broken. When he was born he was diagnosed with both Osteogenesis Imperfecta and hemophilia. His bones were paper and his blood ran like water. He grew up confined to his home having to treat every move he made with great care or it would be another injury. He couldn't go outside to play, couldn't ride a bike, couldn't do so many little things and it was all due to his flawed body. To stop himself from going crazy from being a prisoner to his body he learned. His parents were somewhat well-known scientists who brought him all the books he ever wanted and taught him the curiosities of the world and encouraged him to be an explorer and learn everything he could despite his limits. And so from the time of 7 years old to 18 years James devoured knowledge as it came. Quickly coming to be seen as an intellectual equal to his parents and their colleagues. The employer of his parents "Vision Inc" saw great potential in this young man and gave him the same job as his parents working in the research and development department. For one of the few times in his life James was happy. Finally he was able to strive for something despite his body holding him back. He finally had a chance to make a difference in the world. The next few years went in relative peace as James worked alongside his parents making breakthroughs through technology to keep the body alive in the worst kind of environments. With their technology they would finally be able to colonize the stars. This isn't a fairy tale this is real life and with it comes tragedy. On the verge of a long awaited breakthrough Vision Inc was raided by Hired Mercenaries. They wanted to steal what James worked to hard to achieve. James and his father tried to stop these dastardly men from ruining everything only to be repaid in kind with the father being shot and James getting thrown to the side. When James awoke he was in a hospital with his mother by his bedside. Just one look at his mom told him everything. The work was gone, his father was gone, and his spine was crushed rendering him in a wheelchair. James filled with outrage over how life keeps knocking him down no matter how hard he tries to get back up. Cursed how his life been destroyed. Cursed how he was too weak to do anything about it. Too weak to stop the criminals and save his father. Something clicked for him in his hysteria and he realized the problem isn't the world its with himself. He had tried to make the world a better place for everyone, tried to make everyone else better while he remained broken. If he was to truly help people he would need to stop being broken. He would need to fix himself before fixing the world. And so using the life insurance and the last will of his father James devoted all his time to fix what nature has mistaken. Life gave him broken bones? He removed it. Life gave him a bleeding heart? He removed it. When James was done with his "Improvements" He hardly resembled a man anymore, looking more like a store display mannequin that has gained a life of its own. James was happy with this as he can finally be his own person free of the chains of his damaged body. James now roams the streets helping others where any crime might be because as he puts it "Why dream big and fail when you can think small and achieve.". Personality & Motivation: Mannequin is a hero because ever since he was a child he wanted to make the world a better place. However due to his body he was limited and tried to help the world by being an inventor. This failed horribly and Mannequin decided to finally fix his body and help the world on a smaller scale and to enact justice for his deceased father. Due to being raised at home he hasn't had much social interactions leaving him with less than desired social skills. He is very intelligent and empathetic to those who are disabled and will try everything he can to make life better for those who are down. Powers & Tactics: Mannequin's main strength is that his only vulnerable part is his brain enclosed inside his chest, any harm to the rest of his body can easily be replaced/fixed. He is able move at high speeds and is extremely flexible due to not being constrained to normal bodily movement this allows him to quickly get anywhere almost regardless of the obstacles in his path. He would prefer to plan his attack before fighting an enemy so that he can change his parts to have the best effect in countering his opponent. He is most effective at medium range to close range due to being able to extend his limbs using various chains and electromagnets. Power Descriptions: The most obvious thing about Mannequin is his power. He looks like something straight out of a mad scientist's lair made up of several "pieces" all in a alabaster white chassis. He moves by use of electromagnets and chains making his movements seem unnatural. One would be pressed into thinking that Mannequin is a human. Complications: Unnatural Form: Mannequin has replaced his entire body but his brain with a humanoid construct that isn't restricted in the ways a human body is. Because of this people will usually not assume he is a person. and is just another machine leading them to have unfair treatment of him. Selfish Greed: Despises people who commit violence and harm for the sake of profit. Considers them to be the worst kind of people Blank Slate: Mannequin has a blank canvas for a face leading to the inability to make any facial expressions. This makes it hard when he is trying to display his emotions. Foreign Senses: Mannequin doesn't have conventional senses due to not have a "head". Instead He hears normally and sees via radar. If anything were to disrupt his radar he would effectively be rendered blind. Abilities: -10 -10 - 10 + 12 + 2 - 2= [-18PP] Strength: --/18 (+4) Dexterity: --/18 (+4) Constitution: N/A Intelligence: 22 (+6) Wisdom: 12 (+1) Charisma: 8 (-1)Combat: 8 + 8 = 16PP Initiative: +4 Attack: +4 Attack, +10 Blades Defense: +8 (+4 Base, +4 Dodge Focus), +2 Flat-Footed Grapple: +10 Knockback: -6/-4 flat-footedSaving Throws: 0 + 4 + 6 = 10PP Toughness: +12 (+0 Con, +4 Defensive Roll, Protection 8 Fortitude: N/A Reflex: +8 (+4 Dex, +4) Will: +7 (+1 Wis, +6)Skills: 96R = 24PP Acrobatics 6 (+10) Computers 4 (+10) Craft 14 (Electrical) (+20) Craft 14 (Mechanical) (+20) Intimidate 14 (+13) Knowledge 8 (Life Sciences) (+14) Knowledge 14 (Technology) (+20) Medicine 5 (+6) Notice 5 (+6) Sense Motive 6 (+7) Stealth 6 (+10) Feats: 23PP Accurate Attack Ambidexterity Attack Specialization 3 (Blades) Defensive Roll 2 Dodge Focus 4 Elusive Target Equipment 2 Instant up Inventor Luck 2 Master Plan Move-by-Action Power Attack Takedown Attack Uncanny Dodge (Radar) Equipment: Quote Headquarters;Vision Inc:Size: Medium, Toughness 10; Features: Computer, Fire Prevention System, Infirmary, Laboratory, Power System, Security System 2, Workshop [10EQ] Powers: 18 + 18 + 4 + 1 + 30 + 8 + 5 + 8 + 3 = [95PP] All powers are apart of Mannequin's constructed body and are robotic and electronic in origin. Enhanced Strength 18 [18PP] Enhanced Dexterity 18 [18PP] Elongation 4 (50') [4PP] Feature (Indestructible brain casing) [1PP] Immunity 30 (Fortitude effects) [30PP] Protection 8 [8PP] Speed 5 (250MPH) [5PP] Strike 6 (Telescoping Blades; Feats: Mighty, Subtle) [8PP] Super-Senses 3 (Radio; Accurate) [3PP] (radar) DC Block ATTACK RANGE SAVE EFFECT Unarmed Touch DC 19 Toughness Damage Telescoping Blades Touch DC 25 Toughness Damage Totals: Abilities (-18) + Combat (16) + Saving Throws (10) + Skills (24) + Feats (23) + Powers (95) - Drawbacks (0) = 150/155 Power Points Edited May 17, 2018 by Fox Undoing erroneous pp edit.
Ecalsneerg Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 On 30/01/2017 at 9:13 PM, Vorik said: MannequinPower Level:10 (150/150PP)Unspent Power Points: 0Trade-Offs: ±X Attack / ±X Damage, ±X Defense / ±X Toughness In Brief: A scientist who has lost it all and closed themselves off from the world literally. Catchphrase: Built from scratch. Theme: Bynn The Breaker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wh2HgBRRPs Alternate Identity: Mannequin (Public) James Horrigan(Secret)Birthplace:Freedom City Residence: Uptown Freedom CityBase of Operations: N/AOccupation: Head of R&D for Vision IncAffiliations: Vision IncFamily: His mother Mary,his boss Jimmy at Vision Inc. Description:Age: 27 DoB: 1990/23/3Apparent Age: N/aGender: MaleEthnicity:CaucasianHeight:6,2ftWeight:365PoundsEyes:N/AHair:N/A Mannequin is made up of sleek alabaster white segmented joints joined together on ball joints, chains, and electromagnets. His face has near blank features sans the shallow indents where the eyes would be. Looks good to me, but maybe a bit of a longer description'd be nice. A picture's handy, but given it's not mandatory, a fuller description'd help. For example, your description doesn't actually mention he's a robot Quote History: James Horridan cursed at the pain of getting out of his bed. For as long as he could remember his body has been all but broken. When he was born he was diagnosed with both Osteogenesis Imperfecta and hemophilia. His bones were paper and his blood ran like water. He grew up confined to his home having to treat every move he made with great care or it would be another injury. He couldn't go outside to play, couldn't ride a bike, couldn't do so many little things and it was all due to his flawed body. To stop himself from going crazy from being a prisoner to his body he learned. His parents were somewhat well-known scientists who brought him all the books he ever wanted and taught him the curiosities of the world and encouraged him to be an explorer and learn everything he could despite his limits. And so from the time of 7 years old to 18 years James devoured knowledge as it came. Quickly coming to be seen as an intellectual equal to his parents and their colleagues. The employer of his parents "Vision Inc" saw great potential in this young man and gave him the same job as his parents working in the research and development department. For one of the few times in his life James was happy. Finally he was able to strive for something despite his body holding him back. He finally had a chance to make a difference in the world. The next few years went in relative peace as James worked alongside his parents making breakthroughs through technology to keep the body alive in the worst kind of environments. With their technology they would finally be able to colonize the stars. This isn't a fairy tale this is real life and with it comes tragedy. On the verge of a long awaited breakthrough Vision Inc was raided by Hired Mercenaries. They wanted to steal what James worked to hard to achieve. James and his father tried to stop these dastardly men from ruining everything only to be repaid in kind with the father being shot and James getting thrown to the side. When James awoke he was in a hospital with his mother by his bedside. Just one look at his mom told him everything. The work was gone, his father was gone, and his spine was crushed rendering him in a wheelchair. James filled with outrage over how life keeps knocking him down no matter how hard he tries to get back up. Cursed how his life been destroyed. Cursed how he was too weak to do anything about it. Too weak to stop the criminals and save his father. Something clicked for him in his hysteria and he realized the problem isn't the world its with himself. He had tried to make the world a better place for everyone, tried to make everyone else better while he remained broken. If he was to truly help people he would need to stop being broken. He would need to fix himself before fixing the world. And so using the life insurance and the last will of his father James devoted all his time to fix what nature has mistaken. Life gave him broken bones? He will survive without them. Life gave him a bleeding heart? He will survive without one. When James was done with his "Improvements" He hardly resembled a man anymore, looking more like a store display mannequin that has gained a life of its own. James is happy with this as he can finally be his own person free of the chains of his damaged body. James now roams the streets helping others where any crime might be because as he puts it "Why dream big and fail when you can think small and achieve.". Personality & Motivation: Mannequin is a hero because ever since he was a child he wanted to make the world a better place. However due to his body he was limited and tried to help the world by being an inventor. This failed horribly and Mannequin decided to finally fix his body and help the world on a smaller scale and to enact justice for his deceased father. Due to being raised at home he hasn't had much social interactions leaving him with less than desired social skills. He is very intelligent and empathetic to those who are disabled and will try everything he can to make life better for those who are down. Powers & Tactics: Mannequin's main strength is that his only vulnerable part is his brain enclosed inside his chest, any harm to the rest of his body can easily be replaced/fixed. He is able move at high speeds and is extremely flexible due to not being constrained to normal bodily movement this allows him to quickly get anywhere almost regardless of the obstacles in his path. He would prefer to plan his attack before fighting an enemy so that he can change his parts to have the best effect in countering his opponent. He is most effective at medium range to close range due to being able to extend his limbs using various chains and electromagnets. Power Descriptions: The most obvious thing about Mannequin is his power. He looks like something straight out of a mad scientist's lair made up of several "pieces" all in a alabaster white chassis. He moves by use of electromagnets and chains making his movements seem unnatural. One would be pressed into thinking that Mannequin is a human. Complications: Unnatural Form: Mannequin has replaced his entire body but his brain with a humanoid construct that isn't restricted in the ways a human body is. Because of this people will usually not assume he is a person. and is just another machine leading them to have unfair treatment of him. Selfish Greed: Despises people who commit violence and harm for the sake of profit. Considers them to be the worst kind of people Blank Slate: Mannequin has a blank canvas for a face leading to the inability to make any facial expressions. This makes it hard when he is trying to display his emotions. Foreign Senses: Mannequin doesn't have have conventional senses due to not have a "head". Instead He hears normally and sees via radar. Magnetic Repulsion: Due to electromagnetics being integral to his motor abilities, If Mannequin touches a magnet his coordination will suffer, from tremors making him difficulty grasping things to full on convulsions depending on the strength. This is all very good, love the story, like the motivations, like the backstory, like the complications. Maybe do a quick spelling/grammar check in a couple of areas, for example, you misspell your own PC's name in the first sentence and mix your tenses a little. But barring that, everything looks good. I'd also make it a little more clear that he cannot see, and anything blocking his radar effectively 'blinds' him. Quote Abilities: -10 -10 - 10 + 12 + 2 - 2= [-18PP] Strength: --/18 (+4) Dexterity: --/18 (+4) Constitution: N/A Intelligence: 22 (+6) Wisdom: 12 (+1) Charisma: 8 (-1)Combat: 4 + 4 = 16PP Initiative: +4 Attack: +4 Melee, +4 Ranged, +10 Blades Defense: +8 (+4 Base, +4 Dodge Focus), +2 Flat-Footed Grapple: +10 Knockback: -6 Abilities add up. Rather than +4 melee/ranged, you can just write +4 Attack, +10 Blades. Also, for Knockback, note that it's -6/-4 flat-footed. Quote Saving Throws: 0 + 4 + 6 = 10PP Toughness: +12 (+0 Con, +4 Defensive Roll, Protection 8 Fortitude: N/A Reflex: +8 (+4 Dex, +4) Will: +7 (+1 Wis, +6) Adds up. Quote Skills: 96R = 24PP Acrobatics 6 (+10) Computers 2 (+10) Craft 14 (Electrical) (+20) Craft 14 (Mechanical) (+20) Intimidate 14 (+13) Knowledge 8 (Life Sciences) (+14) Knowledge 14 (Technology) (+20) Medicine 5 (+6) Notice 5 (+6) Sense Motive 6 (+8) Stealth 6 (+10) You've got the maths a little off here, this adds up to 94 skill ranks. However, where I think the error is is that Computers rank should be 4 to have a +10 bonus. If I assume Computers is 4, not 2, it all adds up. Quote Feats: 23PP Accurate Attack Attack Specialization 3 (Blades) Defensive Roll 2 Dodge Focus 4 Elusive Target Equipment 2 Master Plan Move-by-Action Power Attack Takedown Attack Uncanny Dodge (Radar) Luck 2 Ambidexterity Instant up Inventor This should be alphabetised. Otherwise, this adds up. Quote Powers: 18 + 18 + 4 + 1 + 30 + 8 + 5 + 7 + 3 = [94PP] All powers are apart of Mannequin's constructed body and are robotic and electronic in origin. Enhance Trait 18 (Strength) [18PP] Enhance Trait 18 (Dexterity) [18PP] Elongate 4 (50') [4PP] Feature (Indestructible brain casing) [1PP] Immunity 30 (Fortitude) [30PP] Protection 8 [8PP] Speed 5 (250MPH) [5PP] Strike 6 (Telescoping Blades; Feats: Mighty) [7PP] Super-Senses 3 (Radio; Ranged, Accurate) [3PP] Adds up. But please use the proper formatting. For a partial example: Enhanced Strength 18 [18PP] Enhanced Dexterity 18 [18PP] Elongation 4 (50') [4PP] Feature (Indestructible brain casing) [1PP] Immunity 30 (Fortitude effects) [30PP] Protection 8 [8PP] Speed 5 (250MPH) [5PP] Strike 6 (Telescoping Blades; Feats: Mighty) [7PP] Super-Senses 3 (Radio; Ranged, Accurate) [3PP] (radar) Additionally, you don't need to list Equipment or Drawback headers if you lack any. Your unarmed DC is also 19, not 15 in the DC block. And you should list your trade-offs instead of leaving the +/- symbol.
Brown Dynamite Posted February 2, 2017 Posted February 2, 2017 Combat: 4 + 4 = 16PP should be listed as Combat: 8 + 8 = 16PP Sense Motive 6 (+8) is actually Sense Motive 6 (+7) Super-Senses 3 (Radio; Ranged, Accurate) [3PP] (radar) is Ranged by default, but the cost adds up so that's fine. Strike 6 (Telescoping Blades; Feats: Mighty) [7PP] If the blades are telescoping you might want to consider the subtle feat. Fully optional, but if they're hidden it's worth considering Luckily, Totals: Abilities (-18) + Combat (16) + Saving Throws (10) + Skills (24) + Feats (23) + Powers (94) - Drawbacks (0) = 150/150 Power Points is actually, Totals: Abilities (-18) + Combat (16) + Saving Throws (10) + Skills (24) + Feats (23) + Powers (94) - Drawbacks (0) = 149/150 Power Points Meaning you have 1 spare PP.
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