pookaking Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 **An article entitled “A Monster Stole My Sandwich†in the rag known as Super-Vision** Citizens claim monsters are appearing in South Freedom. Some claim it is a vampire, others a werewolf. Is this some new super villain? Or are occult legends now making an appearance in our extraordinary world as well? Sam Macky, a high school student and his friends recount their run in with the creature: “Like…this thing was huge. Like…ten feet at least! Ok…so…like, my friends and I were just coming out of Super Heroes Sub shop right. I had just purchased this six-foot Spicy Italian special right. We were headed to my car when this dude stuck a gun in my face. I was like ‘Whoa Dude!’ He told us to hand over our wallets and my keys. So I’m thinkin’ ‘Not my keys, man! I just bought his car like two months ago you know?’ So I’m all freakin’. My padres are yellin’ for me to just fork’em over right? Cause they’re all like chicken and stuff. Anyways, before I can even get my hand out of my pocket this…thing comes running out of the ally on all fours. It was all furry and stuff right. It leapt right over us, spread these giant wings, and snatched the perp right up into the air. It disappeared right over the Kinko’s. It was like some pterodactyl or something man! I bet it ate the guy. Seriously! My friends and I are all buggin’ right and we run to the car. After we calmed down a bit I asked ‘Dudes, where’s the sandwich?’ Cindy, this girl friend of mine, not my girlfriend mind you, said she saw the werewolf pterodactyl thing take it along with the mugger dude. We were totally bummed, but at least I still have my car right?†Unfortunately, the teens later tested positive for marijuana usage, so their accounts are questionable to say the least. Other occurrences however support the theory of a strange creature roaming the night. Amy Lauder, a casino dealer, reported a sighting last Saturday as she attempted to make a withdrawal from a local ATM. She claimed that she had the feeling she was being watched, and was obviously nervous since she was alone. She remembers having fumbled for her pepper spray before attempting to use the machine. As she readily grasped for her money, there was a piercing scream that made her jump. Turning she saw a shadowy figure move up the side of a building and disappear onto the roof. Nothing else happened that night to her relief. In next issue we will have an interview with Dr. Angus Brennan, a well-respected crytozoologist. We will get his professional opinion in regards to possible monsters among us. Until then, keep your hamburgers close and your silver crosses closer.
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